Lillies and everyone else that was on chat tonight xxx

Hun,

I was'nt on the chat but please dont feel bad I am sure everyone understands!

I have left u a message on our usual chat!

Love Jennyxxxxxxxxx

No worries Roxy.

I am sorry if I said something that was not ok to say though.

Hope you are feeling a little better now. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Roxy,

I understand why you had to go off the chat and i am really sorry that the BMI stuff triggered you. It was my ED doing the talking for some of the chat, trying to find out people's BMI's and stuff, it wasn't me. When i realised what i was doing, i made myself stop, and i am really really sorry.

You haven;t upset me, don't worry :)

hope you're okay,

-xxx- lillies

Arh guys thanks.

We all seem to be apologising to each other! I just wish i hadn't said anything about it triggering me but i cant take it back now.

I just didn't want you all to blame yourself for it. I should have come of chat earlier if im honest, just i wasn't able to come on the last few times and wanted to speak to everyone.

Becki, you didn't say anything that you shouldn't have said so dont worry!

Lillies, you have nothing to apologise for. It wasn't your fault. Ed's are so strong and once they want something they nearly always get their way so i understand. You did well to stop yourself, i dont think i would have been able to do the same.

Yer im ok thanks, still battling (unsuccessfully) and there isn't really any change. Appointment with the CPN tomorrow :-S i am getting really nervous for appointments now, suppose its cause i am worried they will section me or something. Urghh i hate it!

Hope your both ok too,

Love Roxy xxxxxxxx

Hi,

How are you doing?

I get worried that my CPN will section me as well, because my head is so messed up i get worried that one day they will see inside my head and get worried about me themselves.

I'm dropping weight because i'm not eating enough, but i can't help it, i really can't.

-xxx- lillies

Hey,

Oh hun im sorry to hear that you are dropping weight. Do your professionals know your weight is dropping?

Im going the other way. I am putting on weight cause i am eating too much and i cant stop it, the scales are going up and up and up   No matter how hard i try to stop the weight going on it still does.

I hate the fact that the professionals can section me. That just makes me keep my feelings to myself even more, cause i am too worried that i will say something that will make them so worried that they will put me in hospital. If you literally point blank refuse, can they still do it? Its so scary

Hope you had a good weekend, oh and are you feeling better now?

Love Roxy xxxxxxx

Hi,

My weight is going up now. I have no scales, but i can just see by looking in the mirror. I look so fat and horrible. I keep eating too much because i didn't eat enough last week.

I'm sorry you feel like that *hugs*

I feel the same as you about sectioning, because i'm too scared to explain how awful i feel or show my emotions, because i know i would end up in hospital, so i keep on pretending everything is fine, when it really isn't. I'm not feeling any better, i'm feeling worse today, to the point where i can't watch any programs on tv that involve happiness, because it depresses me too much.

How are you feeling?

-xxx- lillies

Hey,

I dont think i could say goodbye to my scales, i am obsessed with them. I no thats not good but i cant help it.

The thought of sectioning just scares me beyond belief. I hate that some people have the power to take away my freedom. I know they are only doing it to help me, but surely i should get some say? Lillies, if i remember rightly, you have been in hospital haven't you? Were you sectioned, or did you go in voluntarely? (i hope you dont mind me asking)

Hun, you must be feeling really down, but it has been a while since you wrote that, so are things a little better? I read your other post about being away, so do not worry about posting late.

I am ok, had a rather rubbish day today. Antidepressants have been upped again, so feeling rather s*** but o well.

Take care,

Love Roxy xxxxxxxxx