Where to start...

Well done for realising that you are ready to recover! That is the first big step and it will help you so much that you actually feel ready yourself.

Right....where to start,

Well firstly i think it is so important to get professional help, because they are best trained at helping you to recover properly. I would go to the doctors/GP first and then they will be able to assess what further help you will need. They may refer you to a CPN/ED clinic (etc) it really depends on what their usual practice is.

It may be easier for you to take a friend or family member along, just so that they can support you but you dont have to. I didn't cause nobody new about what i was going through although i think it would have helped me if i did.

Good Luck, if you want anymore advice, just ask!

Love Roxy xxxxxx

Btw i am also suffering from bulimia, im attempting recovery but failing atm. I no what you are going through and am always here if you wanna have a chat. You will get through this!

Hey hun,

I am so pleased that you are ready to make a change and fight your ED .U should be so proud of yourself!

Well first I would say to you go to your DR and tell them that you would like help for your eating disorder if u are not recieving it already.

I think that the fact that you want to get better is amazing and that is better than any treatment.

Here is a great place to come when u think that you are feeling low and need some help.

Its gonna be a long hard process but I promice the end results are worth it!

Stay strong,

Always here,

Jennyxxxxxxxx

thanks for the advice. one question though... do u believe it is possible to recover without the intervention of a GP or proffesional. I just don't feel like i want that sort of attention. I'm ready to attempt to recover just don't no if i ready to try and seek help. Recovering alone with the help of my friend, do you honestly think thats a possibility or am i being niave...?

I suppose it really depends on the person. For me, i no i never would be able to recover without the professionals because i just give in to the ED. I am finding it hard with their help, but without their help i would find it impossible. I spent ages trying to overcome it myself but i no it just got worse in this time and it just got stronger.

I mean, maybe you could attempt to recover by yourself but it will be alot harder. Some people are able to do it without professional help but i suppose that depends on how far you are into the grasp of the ED/ or how strong and determined you are.

If you do attempt to recover by yourself you need to promise yourself that you will recognise if things are not getting better, then i think you need to get help. The ED is making you think you can do it alone, but can you really? Do you really think you will be able to recover and beat this all by yourself? Sorry if i sound harsh but i just don't want this to get any worse for you.

I wouldn't say you are being naive at all, just you want to try and recover by yourself. What i would say though is that the attention you recieve isn't really attention, if you get what i mean? The professionals just want to help you get better.

Let me know how you are doing,

Love Roxy xxxxxxxxx

Hun,I really know u dont want it but believe me its is very very hard almost impossible to do it without the professionals. I know that its hard right now but think by going to see your GP you are taking the steps to get better and overall its a hard thing at the time but in the furture you will be glad u did!

Hope that helped!

Jennyxx

Well done sweetie, this is a very brave step and you should be so proud of yourself for wanting to get better.

I do beileive you need as much support around you as you can get. Although your freind might be helping you, they will have thier own problems too and it's important not to rely on that one friend too much.

How would you feel about speaking to your parents? 

i wanna get better so badly but i am not brave enough to tell a GP. and my parents are a definate no no. were not close never have been and i dont want them to have anything else to prove in there mind that i am nothing but a failure. i dont lean on him to much i understand he has his own problems and hes just there for when its really really bad. otherwise i can handle it on my own.

Wanting to do this is very brave of you hun, I do think though that getting more help would be better for you. I know you can do this.

How do you think you can move forward from here? What do you think you need to do/change to get better? Is there anything I can help you with, any advice I can give to help you move forward? x

Hey gorgeous.

Firstly-you are so courageous for realising this and I'm so proud of you. I hope you are proud of you too.

Secondly-I think it will help you if you told someone about it. Because then you will have some support. It's hard to beat the vpoice in your head telling you to purge etc on your own. Try to tell your GP. They will be able to refer you to specialists and get you on your way to recovery.

How come you cant tell your parents? At first they may seem really frustrated, but they will want to help you....I promise.

Take care love, keep strong.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hey,

Ok, so if you don't want to tell your parents, is there a teacher at school you could talk to or even a school nurse? I know that they can be very helpful. If you do not feel you can talk to them in person, perhaps you could write a letter to them and explain how you feel.

Also i know that there are professionals on this site, that you can email and chat to. They might be able to help you as well.

Hun, what ever you decide i will be here to support you. You need to know though that it will be alot harder to recover without professional help, but it is SO good that you want to get better.

Hope your ok,

Love Roxy xxxxxxx

thanks guys, just knowing some other people are here and just like hoping for me means so much, it does help maintain my hope that i will be able to get through this darkness.

from here, where i go is not to clear but i decided to take it slowly just faceing everyday and whats thrown at me, taking it one step at a time. 

i dont want to be like this forever and i will get though this. i no u guys are sceptical but i will make it, and if i dont make any real progress within the next month then i will seriously rethink the getting professional help.

i want to really thank you guys for being such inspiration and support, you guys truely are amazing.

Hunni, im not sceptical about it at all! I just want you to recover asap.

You do seem very strong and i to know that you will get through this. It is amazing that you feel you can do this on your own and i really admire you for that.

Part of my problem is that i am not ready to recover but i can tell that you are, so i know that you probably have a much better chance of getting out of this nightmare than me.

It really is good that if you do not think you have made that much progress within a month that you will think about getting help. That is a good time limit because if you are able to do this you will have made progress within this time.

It is ok to not be clear about where you life is going. Many people do not know this, and it is better to be like this than to make too many hasty decisions

I wish you so much luck. Please let me know how you get on. You are the inspiration

Love Roxy xxxxxxxxx

thanks that was a loverly message. :)

i haven;t been on for a few days, due to the fact that i feeling really good at the moment. I dont no where this like spurt of determination has come from but suddenly i feel like i can really do it. i have not binged or purged for i think 4 days and its a fantastic feeling i have. only problem is i think the determination is running out or that i am just having a bit of a down day, because for the first time since this feeling the temptation is back, and i am struggling to fight it off.

i really want to recover more than anything i fed up of feeling like due to my bulimia i am being held back. I know how you feel about not being ready to recover it is a big step, its like getting rid of a comfort blanket something you have relied on for a long time. but it is possible. i believe that there will come a time where someone will say something or u will think something and then u will be ready. i think that you do have to be 100% comited to recovering for it to work but hunny really you can do it. just dont let people force you into trying when your not ready. when you are trust me you will no and trust me its a good feeling.

its nice to no that you think its better to not have a clear direction. makes me feel better. i am just takeing each day as it comes and living in the moment.

to sum up at the moment anyway i am doing well. and i hope this will continue, trying to be possitive and destroy any sceptical thoughts i am having as they will inevitably take over if i dont.

hope you are well, and coping aswell. hunny really dont lose faith there will come a time where your feelings will change and you will be strong enough to start the journey. but when that is only you will know.

love  Becca

XxX

Im so so sorry i havn't commented back on here, just i don't come onto this part of the message boards as much as the 'eating disorder' part because i just find recovery too hard!

Im so glad you are feeling really good. Hun, even if your determination runs out at least you have gone 4 days without binge/purging. Surely you can see what an achievement that this? You cant just expect it all to go away suddenly, so dont be too hard on yourself! I think it is amazing hun, well you are amazing, such an inspiration to us all, and you should be so proud of yourself

You are going to come through this and be so much stronger and you will have a better understanding about life. I think it is a great attitude to live for the moment because we never know what is around the corner!

I realise that you posted the above about a week ago, so things have probably changed now, so how are you? Still improving?

Please don't loose sight of the fact that you are moving forward. You are going to beat this, i no you are so don't give up. If you have a bad day, it is just one day out of so many. I read in this book that 'Recovery is like two steps forward and one step back' ... just remember that!

Let me know how you are,

Love Roxy xxxxxx

hey everyone

It's been really interesting reading about the subject of getting better with/without the professionals and i just though i would share my experience...

the professionals intefered when i really didnt want any help, so i instantly resented it. i spent 4 months in an ed unit, then switched to outpatient care with the nhs coz my health insurance ran out. i took that chance to break away from professional help because i didnt want to be better, and i managed to convince them i was fine enough for them to leave me long enough to make myself really ill...

when they realised how ill i was, they had no choice but to intefere again, and again i hated them for it. as much as i didnt want to be in hospital, i didnt want to be better either, so i agreed to start their program of recovery, but cheated as much as i could whenever i could...

i don't know when it happened, but suddenly something clicked in my head and i realised that i wanted to get better. i saw what i was doing to every1 around me, how different my life was compared to others lives, how absolutely awful my existence had become, and that i really did want to be happy. i realised that being happy meant i had to be healthy, thus had to be better and rid of the eating disorder.

I have found that the only thing helping me get better is to concentrate on everything positive around me and focus on doing it for me...selfish as it sounds, it's actually not apparently. it's hard though...sometimes i hate myself for it and struggle a bit...the important thing for me is that i know nobody is making me do this, im doing it myself. i was on prescribed drinks to make up enough calories in my day on the recovery program or else would have been in hospital on the tube...but i've actually got rid of the drinks and i make up the calories myself with food wherever i can. i don't get enough yet, to gain the weight i need to, but im working on it really hard, i just need to get my body used to the food again.

not everyday is a good day, and the bad days are days when maybe some help would be good, but all im saying is that i don't think professional help is completely necessary if you KNOW that you want to get better, because if you know that then you will.

I'm really glad thing seem to be getting a bit better for you...perhaps it would be sensible to seek out somebody to talk to who isn't connected with an ED service.  that's what i'm doing, because i think i need a bit more support sometimes, but i don't want it to be from the place that has the power to put me in hospital...then i worry that a bad day will have more consequences. at the moment i still have to go to the ED hospital for medical check ups, but once i am healthy enough for them not to worry, i hope to break away from it and start to sort my life out apart from them all.

i hope this helps in some way...of course it's different for everyone, but judging by the sound of it you're a very strong willed person (like me) and need to do things yourself or else you won't really get better inside.

sorry to have rambled...

love Caitlin

xxx