Webzine

beat Young Ambassadors won a British Red Cross Humanitarian Citizen Award for the work that they do!

Heather, one of our young ambassadors was there to recieve the award. Here is what happened in her words.

"I was honoured to attend the British Red Cross Humanitarian Citizen Awards 2009 at the Houses of Parliament with Susan Ringwood and Sam Thomas.

It makes all of the hard work that all of the Beat Ambassadors do seem so worthwhile, just to be nominated was such an achievement for us all and showed that what we are doing is making a difference…. people are finally listening to us.

I thought that when we didn’t get the runners up prize that there wasn’t much chance that we would actually win – the room was full of so many amazing people.  Then they announced that the Beat Ambassadors had won… I couldn’t believe it, I was shaking so much, I thought that I was going to drop the camera that we had won!!

It is very hard to speak out about your eating disorder, but we all do it to try and improve the lives of other sufferers, raise awareness so that care can be improved in the future, and to guide carers and sufferers in the right direction of help.  Things like this make all of the nerves that we all go through seem more bearable because it’s working… we can and are making a difference.  Well done everyone you’re all amazing."

Heather

Dollhouse

I’m writing this at eleven o’clock on a school night and counting on the chance that it will help you. I’m writing this because I need a miracle, desperately, and I’m hoping that you’ll somehow fill this void with your spirit, which is still capable of every impossible thing. I’m writing this because I’m defining beauty, yet again, by putting myself in a place where eyes are focused on the backdrop, and words sound clear and free. It’s a delightful place, but too often the people who go there are like me, too terrified of their words to let them run across their minds any longer. So then sometimes it’s a scary place, too, because everyone’s fears are sprinting down the same track of metaphors and desperate adjectives. It’s hard to really be there.

But I’m asking you to be here with me, because I’m only a seventeen-year-old girl and I’m not too good with directions; I might not be able to find you. Especially when it’s so hard to make your words retrace their steps; they need a little push in the wrong direction. Here’s where we are. We’re in a blurry memory of twelve months ago that tastes like hot apple cider. It’s warm and comforting, and somewhere a cinnamon stick is bleeding sweetness and spice. It’s nice to be in this memory; I revert to it quite often. We’re watching from just above, somewhere in the translucent ceiling. A girl with thick wavy brown hair, dimples in her pink cheeks and freckles below hazel eyes is sitting cross-legged on the piano bench. I think she’s wearing a blue cardigan and sweatpants; her hair might be in two braids down her back. She’s pounding chords on the out-of-tune apartment piano and singing in a little voice. It’s a slow country song about unrequited love, and her eyes are wet with relevance to the boy with eyes like oceans and his sunny laugh. She doesn’t realize it now, but he’s thinking about her too, to some other song. But let’s pretend she knows. Let’s create that incredible feeling of happiness and hand it to her as a gift and watch her unwrap it again and fall in love with its magic. I like doing that, too.

Now you must come forward with me; or rather, back to the present. We’re watching from directly within. A girl with thin greasy brown hair, pale cheeks, and tired eyes is sitting at her computer desk playing with memories in the same way that a child plays with a dollhouse. She’s listening to a love song that the blue-eyed boy sang in a hopeful voice and it should be breaking her heart but it’s not; not really. She runs her hands through her hair and it comes out in ten, twenty, thirty strands at once. Something about starving yourself does that, two or three months after it’s all over and she thinks she’s in the clear, to remind her how stupid it was to try and cut corners on the messy trail of self-esteem.

Stupid girl, you should have known.
It’s easy for her to sit at her piano now and sing those words to herself and say she’s so, so sorry.
It’s really easy to feel remorseful, when you’re stuck.
But she can’t really do that, because she’s still in the same world.

You can. The impossible is still a wonderful challenge to you, you can look at yourself in the mirror and find all those beautiful things and not cheat your way to a sense of worth.
You can be my miracle.

Remember that Samaritans 08457 90 90 90

and Childline 0800 1111

are there to talk to 24 hours a day.

Interview

This is where we could have interviews with people about them and how they deal with the tough stuff in life. Any ideas of who you would like to have interviewed? Let us know ypf@b-eat.co.uk

Spotlight

What's your name?

Dani

What's your job title?

Marketing Manager

What do you do at beat?

I'm in charge of making sure that beat materials (leaflets, newsletters, websites etc) are produced correctly and on time. I also manage our training team including our freelance Associate Trainers, who deliver training to professionals and schools who want to learn more about eating disorders. I organise conferences and events for professionals and carers, and look after our Professional Network Membership.

What are the others at beat like?

They are a great bunch!

What's your favourite band/artist?

Bloc Party, We Are Scientists, Take That...

Have a break

Eating disorders aren't fun  at all and sometimes you can feel like you don't deserve to have fun or there isn't space in your life for it. You deserve to have a break - it is important for your recovery. Why not try playing these silly games for some light relief.

StoneAge Sam

StoneAge Sam Help Sam the caveman survive. A great mini puzzle / adventure game that will keep you playing for hours. .

Penguin Diner

Penguin Diner You have to seat, take the order, serve the food, and collect the tip for each hungry penguin that comes in. A very addicting mini RPG game. .

Konnectors

Konnectors Build a road linking the starting point to the end point. .

Gold Strike

Gold Strike Dig for gold by breaking groups of blocks. .

Penguin Push

Penguin Push Push all of the blocks into the marked areas without getting stuck. .

Grow Island

Grow Island Grow Island : a great point and click game that will keep you playing for hours. You finish the game when all levels are maxed out. Experiment and grow . .

Click Maze

Click Maze A nice puzzle game with lots of great levels. Just click the spot you want to go to and watch out for the moving obstacles and maze walls .

The Impossible Quiz

The Impossible Quiz 2

More ideas for having a break

It can be hard to let yourself take a break from it all for a bit. Here are some ideas for how you could take a break.

• have a warm relaxing bath
• read a book that helps to educate your brain
• challenge mates to a game you used to play when you were younger e.g. hide and seek!

Any more ideas? E-mail them in to ypf@b-eat.co.uk and we'll put them up!