magic wishes xxx

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Original topic post: magic wishes xxx

written by: staceylouise1
posted: 13.08.2008
message:

hey hun!

how are you? i know what you mean, i find eating in front of others really hard too, but my bf's here so much i guess i just had to, so eventually got used to it, still not easy, but the more practise the easier it gets. Small steps!!

oh god exams! :| i'm getting my results tomorrow morning!!! But apparently i can log on to UCAS at 1 minute past midnight tonight and find out if i got into uni or not, so tonight shall be a long one! Omg you did amazing!!! well done! no way shuold you be complaining! it does take a lot of effort to do well, and im so glad it paid off for you hun, but you have to put yourself under such pressure thats not good either. I couldnt find any motivation to revise untill about 2 weeks before my exams, so i kinda paniked and rammed it all in, and cos they were quite close together it meant i revised all day everyday, so think by then end nothing was going in. Plus i got so fed up with them i never revised for the last few.

If it was down to my mother i still wouldnt have a job! but i had to get one! and it's helped me so much. Even though i only started doing 9 hours on a saturday and that was it for the week, it helped so much. i was busy, had other things to think about other than an ed. However it did give me an excuse not to eat. But it is worth thinking about, and also the money is handy :P

well tbh i think i got discharged at the wrong time. I've had a terrible past 2 weeks, everything going from bad to worse, and i dont think the anxiety from my results have helped, so i havent really been doing too well. However things could have gone a lot worse. Just have to see what my results are and see what happens then. I will admit it is hard to get used to, but if you are determined to have a fresh start you can do it, just make sure your ready!

Aw i'm sorry your psychologist left, but hopefully the reassurance of the others staying will help you. Because your not seeing your psychologist, you could try keeping a diary or something, just so you dont feel so alone, and your still getting stuff off your chest. Or gimme a post and i'll reply  Try and have some goals in mind hun. What are things you really want to do...keep them in mind and it does help...uni was a big motivation for me!

hope your okay hun....let me know how you are. lots of love

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Reply post 1: (No Subject)

written by: Magic Wishes
posted: 14.08.2008
message:

Hiya

Thank you so much for your message

I'm alright...much the same really still struggling to stick to my meal plan and hating myself so much but hey that's not anything new.

How are you?  How did your exam results go?  Did you get into uni? What do you want to study?  Sorry for all the questions lol.

I think the same about getting a job as it would keep me busy and get me out of the house and hopefully I would meet new people because I don't really feel like I have any friends at school.  My friends always ignore me and only talk to me if I was them something and even at that I only get a one word answer so yea this year at school is going to be horrible, especially since the one girl that is really nice to me has left now!

Even though the last 2 weeks have been hard honey you just have to stay postive and think that the only way is up!!!  I can't imagine what is would be liked to get discharged right now...I think I would go insane!

I have started keeping a diary type thing...well it is more like a notebook where I just write things about myself and how I feel but at least it gets it all out.  Thank you I will keep that in mind and message you because I love having someone who understands what I mean because no one around me does.  And you can message me whenever you like and I will do whatever I can to help you.

I keep trying to think about all the things that I would like to do like go to uni, get a good job and have children one day and I know that these things can't happen if i continue on like this but I just find it so difficult to actually change.

Maybe we should have a thread where we post all the things we would like to do and we can just add to it whenever...even if the things would seem very insignifcant to others.

I am going away for the weekend so I won't be able to come on for 2 days but I will be back on on Sunday night and then it's back to school for me on Monday boohoo....I'm dreading it soo much.

Hope to hear from you soon. Take care

x-x-x


Reply post 2: (No Subject)

written by: staceylouise1
posted: 18.08.2008
message:

Heyy

I can honestly say for the whole time i had a meal plan (about 2 and a half years, and more than one!) i never stuck to it for a day! I do see the purpose of them. When i started to recover i scrapped the whole idea, and though i'll eat when i want to eat and when i'm hungry....didn't work. Ended up having hardly anything! but then i thought if i just remind myself at what time of day i need to eat and roughly how much then i'll have what i like, and that worked so much better. I dont know if it would be the same for you, but if your struggling with ur meal plan it might. Or maybe you could change it to something you'd feel more confortable with?

Yeap i got into uni...wasnt too happy with my grades though....BBD (one mark from an A in ICT, but just wish they were a little better. But the D was a suprise for the simple reason i didn't go to half my RE lessons, hated the subject and only revised the night before, so was deffo expecting a U, but i'm just pleased i got in. I'm doing psychology. But even though that should please me, and the thought of moving out of here in less than 5 weeks is a dream come true, i've still been feeling pretty rubbish. And have no idea why either :S ah well.

aw i'm so sorry your friends are like that to you, you really don't deserve that! why dont you have a word with your mother abbout a saturday job? some are only like 4 hours a week which is a great start, and your right you will meet new people. I've met loads of people through work.

I found a diary sooo helpfull. It just felt like a release of so much when i'd write things down. Keep doing that hun, and hopefully that will help! I'm always here for you hun (even though i do take a while to reply-i am sorry, just get so tied up with work).

The thought of changing used to scare the hell out of me, sometimes i think i didnt want to change cos i was content in my little world and i couldnt see any other life i wanted. But now i have a life, ana's stilll there and will be for a long time, but its so much different! Now i can say i'm living my life the way i want to not the way ana wants me too.

yeah the thread about goals is a fab idea. you gotta have something to work towards, or recovery can just be put off and seems pointless bothering, but goals are good.

how are you back in school? :s isn't it summer holls?

anyways hope your okay babe, just to let u know i'm working for the next 12 days, and most of them are full days so sorry if i take a while to write back but i will as soon as i get a chance :)

take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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