Original topic post: Gone downhill really quickly :/
written by:ChloeMarieAwe...
posted: 18.07.2011 message:
I got a stomach bug, I was doing okayish before then, but then everything just went downhill. My next appointment isn't until 1st August it's too far away... but I'm scared what they'll do and say about how much ive lied to them and gone downhill. I made a deal that last time i wouldn't be weighed but my next appointment i will. I regret making that decision! All I do is sleep, and I hate being around people, my friends showed up at the weekend and i just went to my room and fell asleep... I sleep all day to avoid people, but it's also because I don't have the energy to do anything else. Now my parents are starting to moan about how I'm lazy and sleep all day, all my friends know I'm struggling... None of them know how to approach me about it or talk to me about it... Sometimes I just get the thought that nobody cares, and that nobody likes me... I just don't know! I just want to go stay at a friends for a bit, or friends and people who understand to talk to me and knock sense into me, but they won't. It's my last week at school till summer, and things like non-uniform absolutely freak me out, I panic about people judging me because of what I wear, it's silly, I know... But people in my school can be really judgemental! Anyways, I'm now going to go back to sleep then do coursework, hope everyone has a lovely summer :D hope you all are okay :) xxx...
Reply post 1: (No Subject)
written by:keepstrong
posted: 22.07.2011 message:
Your message made me sad. You are not your eating disorder, the sleepy one, the one who has no energy for friends is the eating disorder. You are the brilliant person underneath, swamped by ED. As soon as you face up to him, fight him, you-the real you will shine through. You'll give yourself the energy to laugh with friends again. I know it is hard, i felt like i would never gain my energy back but you will and you'll feeel fantastic!!
Im sure most people are worried for you rather than judging you. especially your family and friedns who love you and want to see you well. As my sister once told me, health is the best thing you can have, to be happy and full of life. I expect in a way your friends arent sure how to approach the subject and dont want to make things worse for you..
What sort of treatment/appointments do you have? I have CBT and i see a dietician.xxx
Reply post 2: (No Subject)
written by:ChloeMarieAwesome
posted: 22.07.2011 message:
Awww xx. Thankyouu for being nice :) My family and friends aren't aware that I'm struggling as bad as I am, only a few know, well the friends I class as 'real, trustworthy friends' which is about 6 of them. I go to cahms , have a therapist and use to have dietician but I discharged myself which was a bad thing to do... :/ x. I'm actually doing a little bit better at the moment, sort of :) x. Hope your okay :) x
Reply post 3: (No Subject)
written by:keepstrong
posted: 25.07.2011 message:
Hi again. I kept it between family and close friends although as i started beating the disorder more and more, i realised that i needed more people in the loop. I am doing well and i hope you are too. I have been with the ED department for a year almost and i can say i'm there, ive got through the worst part of my life and now, I am more beautiful than i was, i am full of life. I laugh more, i enjoy life and enjoy eating with friends again. This weekend I spent with my boyfriend who only really knew me as small but it's so nice to know he finds me more attractive now as im healthy and look like a female rather than a 12 year old boy. I can even cycle for enjoyment and without the guilt of destroying my body. Freedom.
Hope that makes you feel positive that you too can get there. i dont want to feel like im gloating, I wish i could have seen how happy health and life is a lot earlier. xxx
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