chalkeybaby

hun i sent you a message on you "relapse" thread,i am in a very similar situation atm,and want to support you :-) i hpe your okay!¬

hey

i fink tht is a diff lollipop - spelt wid a I mine is wid a Y

u feelin any better?

do u feel any reason u gon so downhill agen?

all u can do is keep fightin it in ur head even if physically u cant fight the actions as well aslong as in ur head u find tht one word even just to say to urself u kno waty ur doin shuldnt b wat ur doin - atleast then ur makin tht connection

im not all tht gd here but im just keepin goin tuch n go last few weeks but im tryin to get fru it

xxxtake care xxx

oh im sorryyy hun but im presuming you are the lollypop i thght i was speaking to in teh other thread.the one that i have spoken to before? :-)

thanks im mmm ok today well have felt ok ish - i dno anymore,its laughable.

how are you hun?whats going on...iv been looking for a new job and went to paris couple weeks ago,was good at the time, something il never forget but really i juts prved to myself i live in a "pretend" world sometimes and i came home and everything went to pot and had an extremely rough time

thinking of you xxxx

aw i duno i cant find the post its all confusin lol but i am the lollypop we talk on threds lol

a new job sounds cool wat wuld u wana work in?

sumtyms its good to pretend for a wile just to get u out n to push u fru hard times

is fings any better now ur at home?

i dunt go on boards as much now as sooo many new ppl n i get so confused as it all moves so fast n past few weeks ive hardly been able to string a scentence let alone reply wel

fings here got v tense and i was on the edge and i did fear wat i wuld do but im tryin to push fru it tryin to find all the positives i can to keep me goin n push me to actually make it to uni in 2 weeks

its funny sum of my negatives for not goin to uni hav turned to positives just by switchin my view point

like a reason not to go to uni was cus i was doin it for mum not really for me but positively if i go i could like it enjoy it and its actually safer to go make her happy than hav to deal wid her disappointment

so im just about managin to get eatin bk to sum sort of normality afta losin weight ive just gota keep movin forward n keep finkin positves n wen i do feel low i hav to dig out of it - it means my bedroom is sparkiling clean n loadsa pics up everywer lol

u just take care keep strong sorry i cant b mor help finkin of yaxxx

heyy hunny~thats gr8 ur finding positives for uni, altho i do think its a shame u feel this pressure from your mom and i want to say she should be proud of you for being ur own person and making ur own choices really-but you obv.have quite a complex relationship with her and i think with time as you both have time you may get closer and resolve things.this is exactly what happened with my mom

things at home are okay now, well okish-i dont want my parents to split but last night i told my mom she shud.i didnt mean it.i love my mom and dad to bits,and i always make allowance for my dads hard life. but sometimes he just doesnt realise that he is not treating us the way he should treat the ppl he loves.he is so stubborn.

im glad you are strting to look forward to uni- if u try and think of the people you will meet,the confidence you might gain, and the oppotunities you may find.and i hope u do.

remember every1 is in the same boat at uni,so if you feel uneasy at first its more than likely every1 will feel the same and u make friends easily-but you do have to take iteasy babe,cause you need support.

dont worry at all abt nt posting i COMPLETELY understnd if you cant post do you think you can get on the live chats , it helps to talk with people!iv been useing them alot!

please keep trying, keep having hope.holding on and not giving in cause happiness could alwys be around the next corner,i know its tough-but if you try and get support-use ur voice then that is the most positive way for things to change.

dont give up babe.youv come 2 far.loveyou

aw hun im sorry bout ur parents

wats happenin wid it nw?

do u fink a break wil b a gd fing for them?

how is it goin wid job huntin?

fings here k im doin much better

tryin to get my mental state into a better place is tirin work tho

had nice day out wid mum but it paniked me wid uni cus she went on n on about it n also alot of eatin out n drinkin fings i wuldnt normaly dare so hmmmm

anyway im sendin my luv hugs n finkin of u hun u just take care of urself i kno u want to help ur parents but at end of day its ther realtionship n no matter wat u stil hav the bonds wid them tht wil never change wer eva they liv or weva they r together or not

xxxx

ah thanks hun, im glad your feeling stronger hang on to that and always remember it when things change. okay!

<3

You have to remember that uni might be a differant lifestyle but your lifestyle is alwys something you can control and eating disorder is not. and you are fighting for all the right reasons.

i think you will meet lots of new people and learn great things about yourself.maybe it wont always be easier- but moving forward ight give u a reason to fight,cause ul no what your missing out on.

You deserve to find the direction you desire in life and altho your mom is preessuring you into this path maybe you will discover oppotunities that you desire.cause thats what matters most. dont let people try and define who you are or undermine u.

im glad you had a nice day with her, do you think you are building bridges and getting closer? time toegva alone is a gr8 way to do that

my home life is ok mom and dad are a bit off with eachother. i dont no hw dads copeing. i hope he doesnt have another out burst i love him to bits and my mom but its such a severe divide for me to bridge.

loveyou hun