please help me. ny advice/help/ nything! please

heya hunni,

we spoke a while ago but u mite remember me, im danielle n im a christian n i was ana til God healed me

r u gettin any help atm? mayb try n c a uni counsillor or someone. sorri i dont seem to hav much advice atm but i wanted u to no tht im always here if u need me n im prayin for u hunni.

stay strong beautiful

Danielle xxx

hey hunni-  yeah i remember you :)   hows things?

i did tell my doctor. nd she said to see a councillor. but the councilling service never got bk to me...  this was bout 4 months ago.

i havent bn bk to my gp since. i couldnt bear her to think i was making this up. no one would believe me tht i restrict...

tx for ur prayers.

God bless x x x hope u r gd? x x x

heya hunni,

yeah i am quite gud actually :D

hunni go bak to ur gp n say they neva got bak to u. cos u shudnt b strugglin thru this alone n she wont fink ur makin it up hunni u deserve help this is a serious problem n in the small chance she wont help n c someone else til u get the help u need. also u mite hav a uni councillor u cud c.

i hope fings get betta soon hunni. im always here if u need me hunni n ill keep prayin for u, stay strong beautiful

God bless

Danielle xxx

hey balletbun

jst reading thru ur post, u shud definately try 2 go bck 2 ur gp, and dnt give up until ur given the help u deserve! so many times people r turned away, as not all doctors take it seriously enugh, but u sound rly down so u defo deserve help.

do u hav any friends of family that you could also try talking to and ask them 2 help and support u?

ur not fat no matter how awful and huge u feel, ur doctor has even sed ur underwight, so its jst ur ed distorting ur perception of urself - jst try 2 remember that 2 stop u from feeling so disgusted wiv urself- ur beautiful neva 4get that!

hope things do improve 4 u, n im always here if u wana chat, n no one will think ur making it up, stay strong, let me no how things are

lots love beth xxx

Heya sweety,

I am alsoa first year uni student.  and I am in the same boat as you as in the fact that I should be happy but I am not.

Have you tried emailling the uni counselling services or going in to make an appointment personally.  I did that and know I have been set up with psychiatrists, and psychotherapists just because my uni counsellor wrote one letter to my GP.  I got a referal assesment within 3 weeks of that letter being writtern.  It takes longer though getting somewhere when you are having to go into adult services.  MY uni counsellor has been a star and has been so supportive in my sessions. 

Keep going

hugs

xxx

hey beth. hey dani

tx guys for ur messages.  so appreciated. yeah, i think i will go bk to my gp...   just its scary (i know tht sounds lame)    i dont want her to say i have an ed...   even tho i think i do.   arrgh   my head is a mess.    ok- so im underweight. but am totally convinced im massively huge. i obsess about food, and am restricting so i guess i have some sort of ed. its making me feel crud,   but i dont know if i want a "diagnosis"   cos tht would mean i would be told to "recover"    nd i cant, just absoloutely cant stand to put on ny weight.  i just dont want to be feeling so pants.  

i dont want to worry my parents about this all. i did however tell my friend a couple of months ago.  but its only now its spiraling. i hate being this out of control. my friend did ask me the other day whether i was stuggling eating. nd i broke down in tears, nd said yes.    but then after a few days i told her it was all fine again (not quite sure why i lied...i hate lying, im such a hypocrite. im so awful)

still confused :(

but loving the sunshine lol :)   hope u guys r enjoying the good weather?!   sorry for the rambles!

x x x

heya hunni,

yep enjoyin the weather :D

aww *hugs* hunni itll b fine n i u no deep down u hav an ED then u dont hav to worry abt then sayin u dont its jsut ur ED tryin to mak u not go.

hunni u no deep down u r underweight n i no how easy it is to beeive ur ED when it says ur fat but hunni i promise ur not ok. hunni if u do hav an ED (i fink u do) then u shud get the rite help to help u recover. hunni its great u told ur friend mayb u shud tell her or rite to her n say ur not ok n tht u need support n maybe she can go to the gps wiv u.

hunni God will b u n he will strenghen u n look out for u thru this, lean on him when fings r hard n ask ppl to pray wiv u. i will b prayin also n im always here for u

stay strong beautiful, God bless

Danielle xxx 

heya! yep certainly am enjoying the warm weather atm!

its so hard 2 begin wiv 2 accept that u mite hav an ED, and if ur gp diagnoses u, no1 is going 2 expect u 2 recover over night, people will want 2 help u in the best way possible 2 do this slowly n gradually, n giv u all the support u need!

i lied to my friends 2 begin wiv, n i h8ed it aswell, but eventually i confided in 1 friend n now im so glad i did bcus i dnt no how i wud get thru each day at skool if i hadnt! is there ne way u cud try talking 2 ur friend agen? she sounds lke a gud friend bcus of the way she asked u how things were! i find the issue wiv parents rly difficult 2, n i stil dnt tell them evrything about how im feeling, lke u i dnt want 2 wory them!

hun its ur ed thats making u think ur a lot bigger than u rly r! jst remember that! u know that ur underweight so u deserve 2 get the help n support 2 battle ur ed that is obviously jst making u feel so huge n rubbish wen in reality ur not! r u going 2 go 2 u gp? if so let me no how u get on if u like!

always here if u need, n dnt apologise 4 rambling, u didnt lol

lots love beth xxx 

hey butterflie.-  tx for ur message :)    it is so gd to know im not the only person in this kind of a situation!    what kind of things do u talk about with ur counsellor -  im not the best at talking about stuff in the best of situations. i dont know why i find it difficult- but also part of me dreads other ppl thinking im so weak. also i dont know if i will be able to talk about stuff to a stranger. how did u get an appointment with ur uni counsellor-  did u ask for one urself-  or did ur friends/tutor/family suggest u spoke to someone-   i dont want the counselling ppl to think im weird going forward to ask for an apt.   sorry - i know none of tht prob makes sense.

hope u r doing well

x x x

hey beth nd dani

tx again for ur messages!   soo appreciated.   

i think i will perhaps tell my friend again...   and mayb ask her to come with me to my doctor-   do u think she will think im crazy??

i cant explain the fear inside me tht they will think im a nutcase.  do u knowhwat i mean.??    i mean "normal" ppl   eat when they r hungry,  nd stop when they r full.  why cant i?!?!    i feel so stupid.    but even more silly   i feel gd when i dont eat.   how weird is tht!?!?!    i like seeing the scale number drop.  i need to lose the weight.     i dont deserve help to put on weight and "recover"   cos i dont want to put ny on.

 arghh   my head is just so full of thoughts. i must sound like a lunatic.     i know it all sounds bizzare,  nd in my head i think im trying to "put off " dealing with these food issues untill after my exams,  but at the same time   i think things mite get worse if i dont tackle them now.  i know im contradicting myself al the way thru this message-  cos i dont want things to get worse,  but at the same time    do i want to "get better".   what if im just making a big deal out of nothing,  nd there is nothing to "recover2 from...

i hope u guys r doing ok, nd i apologise for my rant! i know u have issues of ur own to deal with!! 

love  and many tx for ur help so far. x x x

hiya hunni,

if shud definatly tell ur friend wots reali goin on n yes u shud ask her to go to the gp wiv u. hunni she wont fink ur crazy she oviously cares cos she asked how u r doin so she will definatly want to help u.

 hunni no one will fink ur a nutcase, n ur not stupid. n u feelin gud from not eatin n losin weight its just a way for ur ED to trap u. i got reali addicted to hunger n weight loss n i didnt want to giv it up.

hunni u shud definatly tackle it now cos the sooner u get help the easier itll b. hunni i can c from this post tht ur fittin from within to find the strengh to get betta n to get help n i can tell ur reali want to. hunni u need to reli on GOds strengh to get u thru this, all this is is satan attackin u but God has alreadi won this battle n u r on his side :D hunni u will win this battle :D

hunni i will keep prayin for u loads

stay strong hunni

Danielle xxx