FAED

hey sweetie,

I'm sorry to say I haven't heard of FAED, but I know how frustrating it is when people tell you that you are suffering from something that you know you are not.

if you don't mind would you be able to explain a little bit what FAED is??

the people on these boards are fantastic and really supportive hunni so don't worry about posting anything on here!! however stupid it may sound we've probably all felt the same at some point lol.

always here for you sweetheart,

let me know how things are going,

take care,

lexy -xxx-

ah someone replied! hehe, how fun! :P FAED, well its kinda complicated really, like it was sooooooo gradual i didnt notice it properly, like for a week i'd eat all my lunch, then somtehing would go on in my mind, and id drop out something from my lunch....then something else would happen, and another thing would dissapear. I wanted to eat, and knew i had to eat, but something stopped me. i didnt worry about the calories or aaanything, id eat anything to make me better, but i just got so anxious. like, around meal times id get anxious then it would put me off my food so then i wouldnt eat. people with FAED seem to associate their feeling with their food if that makes aaany snese at all :P like....its an eating disorder, but, the food not being eaten is only the result of another illnes if you like. anxiety is the illnes, and food is whats affected. like some people when they are nervous, they eat as food is their comfrot, for guys like me, eat is the last thing we would ever want to do! food is just the result of feelings. it's hard to explain propley as there isnt much available on it, its only through perosnal experience you can explain what it is if you like. i mean, i wanted to eat, but i didnt know what to eat. its hard to describe to somebody really... :S sorry if your completely like....what the helll, now!

any questions?? hehehe, joking, its fine it you do but like im not expecting a ton of them to come back now!!

it was such abad itme in my life, but in a way its made me who i am now. IN A WAY! lol im not saying and eating disorder has made me, cos that would just be wrong, but its amde something change inside, about how i think and feel :)

hope your good toooo :)

han x

hey sweetheart,

think you described it pretty well!! I understand what it is anyway now lol!!

I know what you mean about it making you the way you are as I feel that way too. In some ways I feel my ed has made me a stronger person than I would have been as I know that I have to be strong to beat this - I don't have a choice! be strong or lose - and I know which one I want!!

how are things going sweetie??

take care,

lexy -xxx-

heya hun,

im danielle, im 15, in a christian n i was ana for abt 5/6 monhts til God healed me in jan.

i hadnt heard of FAED either but i fink i understand it now. i understand y how u feel cud affect wot u eat as i hav comfort eaten in the past n ive also not felt lyk eatin when i was reali depressed but tht wasnt when i had my ED.

im here if u eva need to talk hunni even if i dont understand it properly ill try n help u. n ill pray for u, stay strong

Danielle xxx

hey lexy! you seem so nice, i see you answering loads of peoples posts! aww bless you!

do you mind me asking your story?? im good thank you! am haveing a nice break from school actullay, even though i have a ton of work to get through-im getting throug hit slowly though! how was your easter?did you cope ok?

i def think we should all be strong rather than lose :) its a must ! hehe!

i have the dietitian and psycholgist this week, but they should be fine, i dont thiiiink i need to worry about them, but you never know with these proffesionals! lol :P

han x

hey sweetheart!!

my story ... hmmm ... well before I started therapy I would have said that my issues with food started around last may when I stopped eating breakfast and lunch and only eating what little dinner I could get away with, but I think I've always had problems with food looking back.

when I was younger I was always incredibly small for my age, but then I reached 12/13 and developed quite quickly and so ended up bigger than a lot of my friends. as I'm quite a self-conscious person I guess it got to the point that I thought if I changed my appearance I might make more friends, but of course that didn't happen!!!

to begin with I wouldn't eat much during the day but would eat a lot in the evenings and so put on a lot of weight then it got to the point last may when I decided that I was way too big, and by january this year I was incredibly underweight. since then I've been going through phases and feel as though I've gone back to the part of the cycle that I was at before I lost a lot of weight.

I also have severe depression and have just had my medication upped as a month or so ago.I had to take a few weeks off school when at my lowest weight and deepest into my depression to try and help myself.

sorry that's a really long story lol!!! soz if I've bored you to death! 

glad you're enjoying the break sweetie! I know what you mean about the workload! I'm writing this post at 12:00 am as I have been busy all day and know I won't be able to post until late evening tomorrow

my easter has been okay thanks, had my ups and downs but things are gradually getting better I think =)

lol, you're right about the professionals hunni!! you never can tell!

what days are you seeing them?? let me know how it goes,

take care sweetheart,

lexy -xxx-

hi! i just realised how it makes me giggle inside when i ask people what their sotry is or when people ask me about my sotry. it makes me giggle how we actually have a story of life to tell! do you know what i mean?! ahha!

nah that didnt bore me to death lexy! ahh, i can rant and rant and rant about mee! hehe, aww so youve coem on really fast, like january was only 4 months ago and for you to feel nearly noraml again is really good! do i have the right idea here or did i interpret your story (giggle) wrong? sorry if i did!

aww, you medication ahs gone up, well i wouldnt owrry about that, i mean if it helps you then yay! hehe i live by my medicine! i think its amazing! ahah :P

hm i have them tuesday-lol tuesday is out patient day! ahahhha!

its odd how sceptical i was of these messasge sights t first, lol im guessing your no hacker and are a genuine person! ahha, joking! so many people on here, and we only know each other by usernames, its crazy! hehe, still, i guess its relay good for some people :)

right, sorry this is so long! i think im gunna go now.........

x

lol, hey sweetheart!

things aren't anywhere near normal with regards to my eating I wouldn't have said, but I know that it may take a long long time and I'm prepared for that so ...

I know, it is strange. I always think it would be really nice to meet some of the people I talk to on here or at least speak to them in other ways if that makes sense? but I also worry that people may not be who they say they are lol.

you're welcome to rant anytime sweetheart!

let me know how things are going,

take care,

lexy -xxx-

Heya,

Wow FAED I have never heard of that but I think I understand although I guess ED's are and will be hard to understand if you have never experienced them.  I find that people around me do not understand and so I just do not bother. 

Han157, you seem like a nice person and very bubbly I wish I could be like that.  But then again I am aware that it is easier to write the opposite of how you feel than what you feel.  But from what I have read it is good that you are lighthearted about things and serious at the same time as well as posibly nervous??? if you are thats normal, I feel nervous when I am on here wondering what people make of me.

Lexy I know what you mean you can never tell whether someone is genuine and is who they say they are on these sites but both of you seem like you are the people you make out to be (if this makes sense.)    I can promise you both thwat I am genuine and although know one knows my name I guess it is for protection of myself so if someone is not who they say they are then I do not feel like I am in danger. 

I guess many people use this board for inspiration and support form other suffers and that is good to.

Han157 I hope you are doing ok??? Well done for coming on this board I along with many others have been finding it really useful and I hope you do to.  Like lexy has suggested nothing you can write in this board is stupid.  Keep going strong and do not feel like a failure if you have your bad days we all do and sometimes it's good to talk, ramble or shout.  I do it quite often especially the rambling.

take care and let me know how you are doing

xxxx

lol, it makes perfect sense sweetheart!!

I can promise you that I am genuine too - wouldn't know how to be otherwise!! I think most people on here seem pretty genuine to be honest.

hope you're okay sweetheart?

take care,

lexy -xxx-

aww, hey butterflies32, nice to hear from you :)

everybody can be a fun and bubbly person, you just have to find yourself. things and experiences will make you who you are, and so look at things positivley. everything means something deep down.

ive grown to be so positive towards other people, i am the one who gives the lectures of support and help, yet i can never apply them to myself. i guegs its the same for everybody-they can tell people what to do, yet when it comes to them it deosnt work quite so well!

im gd thanks, have my ups and downs, but deosnt everybody! it's all part of life.

keep smiling :)

x

hey sweetheart,

I agree that it is a lot easier to help others than it is to help ourselves, but by being on here we are all facing the fears that have been keeping us from talking for so long and have led us to where we are now.

you're right about the ups and downs being part of life sweetheart!!

how are you doing anyway sweetheart?? hope you're okay??

*hugs*

take care,

lexy -xxx-

Hey gorgeous....just wanted to say that reading through all your posts made me smile!!

You seem like a really amazing girl...so positive!!

In all honesty...I havent heard of FAED either...but it sounds very familiar to what I feel like around mealtimes hun!

I get really anxious about it....if i'm on my own in the mornings...i binge (im suffering from bulimia) to avoid having to eat lunch sometimes...I really hate it.

Keep strong hun...we are all here to support you as much as possible!!

Lexy-. The amount of times I've wanted to speak to you in other ways of communication....But we still have the support from one another...and I assure you hun I am genuine

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hey! sorry that you feel the need to binge in the morning so that you dont have to eat at lunch time, and so not feel anxious. But i just wanted to say.....the longer you leave it like that, the harder it will get to eat a "normal" eating routine. you cant go all your life not eating lunhc, or eating loads at lunch so that you dont have to eat at dinner. the longer is it the more anxious you will get. you getting me??! lol sorry if your not!

im not gunna barg on about it, cos you seem like the kinda person who doesnt like to dwell on the fact that you are like you are. You will be stronger in yourself becasue of everything you come through to get to the end!

xxxx

Heya,

giving advice is easier than taking your own advice.

I do not know if it is the same for you but I often find the advice I give out is found to be helpful but when I am having a hard time it is the last thing that I remember and think about so panic and feel completely alone.

Talking often helps and I believe it helps the recovery process and keeps people feel supported and more encouraged.

take care.

Keep going strong

xxx

yeah totally true! when i'm on need of adive, the last thing i think about is the advice that ive given other people in a difficult situation! funny eh?! i thnk its kinda natural though, we want to hear it from someone outside of the situation so eve if we did pay attnetion to the adive we gave people, it wouldt help much because we wouldnt belive it, i personally have to hear it from smebody else!

talking is the best way i think, i feel so relieved when i let it all out! ahhhh....!!!

xx

Heya,

Lol!!! I agree all the way!

How are you getting on anyway?

take care

xxx

lol, yeh I know what you mean sweetheart!

I don't think I would ever take any of the advice that I have given to someone else, but then again maybe my advice is just not that great!

take care,

lexy -xxx-

Thank god, I have finally found someone who is also suffering from FAED. Everytime I try to explain it to anyone they either think I am suffering from anorexia or have just landed from mars! My story is quite a complicated one. I have always had a complex relationship with food, and from childhood was never a big eater. But as I grew older the problem got worse. And on top of it I developed severe IBS, which meant that eating not only made very anxious but also was quite painful. I hated my body for the pain it was putting me through which gave me even less motivation to eat. Everytime I get depressed or anxious about anything I always take it out on food by not eating, I suppose it is a weird kind of self-harm. I am desperately trying to recover, to try to relax around food and convince myself that I deserve to eat. I partly want to get better for my mum more than anything. I cant bear to see her cry when I refuse to eat, I often force myself just so she wont get upset. It would be really helpful to talk to someone who is also suffering from FAED, and find out how they cope with it, because this is quite a rare form of eating disorder and I feel very alone and like no one understands what I am going through. Sorry that was quite a long miserable rant and hope I haven't bored you to death. But i feel like I cant really talk about it to that many people, and I would love to find other people who know what its like. xxxxxxxx

wow! you are the only person i've ever "found" who has FAED! it's exiting in a way, i know its a rubbish thing to have so thats not exciting, but to talk to somebody else who has it! yeah i got treated as if i was suffering from anorexia when i was a patient in a mental health hospitol, was frustrating!

No you didnt bore me! was nice to read someone else's experiences with it! aww, sorry to hear about your IBS, that must be abit of a bumer for you. hm....aw it's nice you do it for your mum, but at the en dof the day, do it for yourself! you need to do it for yourself, because otherwise, you wont recognise what you have come through, you will think its only ever to impress somebody else. Impress yourself hunny! honestly!

yeah i was always a fussy eater, from little really, thinking about it! then it just got worse when i went to secodary school, the school was really good, i just didnt like the change of primary school to secondary school. i just gradulaly cut down on waht i was eating, and then was an out-ptient fora year, then an in-patient for 5months, and i am still an out patient now, only for the dietitian though! im not sure what ive done to get through it, something amazing i know! ahha! howver munch ihated the hopsitol, it did make me ralise what i had to do, and it just forced me to eat, i had no other option, otherwise i would have to have a consiquence..hmm..yeah!! lol....i know my medicine has helped me too, doenst wor for everybdy, for me it does, i guess cos i belive it is helping me, so i think its doing good, if that makes sense! heheh!

i'm here if you wanna ask anything!hope you are goood :)

xxx