New :S

heya! im new to this too, actually you are the first post for me to reply to! hehe! anyway, sorry to hear youve had a rough time with things, we, and only the guys on here or who have had a problem, can realte to how you feel i guess. when i was on a ward for ED i used to be able to say "okay can i start that tomorrow so that i can have a final day in this stage of my recovery". that turned out to be the worst thing to say. now i am always looking for that extra day to put something off, in order to not feel the horrible way that i feel whe n i do something new. if you put it off, it will only get to a worse situatation, where something bigger will have to be done, and you will think, if only i'd done that little thing all those weeks back. from where you are now, you probably cant see that the little things are easier than the bigger things-everything is hard, little or big! i couldnt see it at the time when i was on ward, i thought it was oding me good cos i got to think about what i was about to embark on if you like. i should have just, for example, started my new meal plan the day i got it, as now, i cant get out of the routine of leaivng things, and putting them off. outting them off will only create a bigger problem in the long run. it;s hard for eeeeeeverbofy at first, to do something they really dont want to do, or are scared of, but you have to challenge yourself-we all know how hard it is, but you think about the long run, when i was ill i couldnt see the long run, maybe you dont either, but you have to think about where you want to get.

have you been referred to a psychologist?im guessing you would have seen one on the wards you've been on, but, yeah some of them are not so good, but now ive ofund a really good one, after like 3years! just stick them out, build a relationship if you like with your psych. soon you wont feel worried to tell them all the nitty gritty things that you feel.

am i making any sense at all, i tend to ramble on a bit! hehe! sorry if your like, really confused now!

i hope you find something to comfort you, and that these guys help you out on here tooo! :D

x

Hey there, I'm new to these boards too =)

I totally know how you feel it's sooooooooo hard , and most people just don't understand. I wish I could tell you how to make it all go away but life int that simple I'm afraid. Focusing on all you want to do in life such as going to uni is important you need a reason to keep going. I started uni this year and I love it, its been hard but I've made some great friends and having them really helps me fight this horrible illness. I've had ana for 5 1/2 yrs now and some days are really good, others not so....I sometimes wonder if this is as good as it's guna get but I do know I defo don't want to go back to that sad lonely place I was in so i have to keep going. Also at the begining of the first term my bmi was really low and the doctor said she should admit me as an inpatient but I just had frequent monitoring instead. The thought of loosing everything I had worked so hard 4 tho did scare me and a made a lil progress- I know you can do the same

It's the Uni hols at the moment and I can kinda feel myself slipping now I don't have work as a focus food and exercise are begining to dominate my thoughts. Anyway enough about me, I think in a way it's good that your tired of the internal torture ana brings because it shows you've reached a turning point . Try not to look at or think about the calories (I know easier said than done ,lol!) and stay strong babes....maybe we can help each other. 

*hugs*

Katie x

Hi, i'm fairly new, i've only been posting on these boards for a few months....so i suppose i am sort of new :S

I nearly got sectioned, because my weight was less than * above the level (when i got admitted to an inpatient place) when i would have needed to be on bed rest and in a wheelchair. The thought of having to go in a wheelchair scared me so much that i ate all the food and increased my weight.

I'm not doing too well at the moment, i keep restricting and then binge eating, and i know that i have lost weight, but i'd like to talk to you :).

Take care,

-xxx-