happy?

All I want in life is to be happy

Yet it seems I am the only one in my way

If only I could just agree

Then maybe my life would stop falling away from me

Im so sick of pacing this room

Trying to convince myself to stay

Because I am smarter than that now

Well that’s what they say

I am an adult and I make my own decisions

Yet I cant stop all of my in-discretions

I feel the reason as its leaving me

Its so deceiving, what im feeling.

I don’t want this to go away

im so scared to stop

Because its always been this way

And what will I do when its not

The pressures tightening

I cant even seem to cry

The thoughts are frightening

I don’t even want to try

I have played this game for so long

And until recently it never seemed so wrong

Am I going crazy

If so who will save me

It feels like all my youth has been taken

And this nightmare cant be broken

All I need is to be happy

Just for me