Depths of despair

My thoughts are bleak, My heart is weak, As the dark winters night outside. Not one he, nor one she, Really caring much for me, I lose all my trust, my faith and I hide. I hide within my being, With no-one really seeing, That I am just an act. Isolated and alone, With no sanctuary found at home, Not knowing what is fiction, Not knowing what is fact. For I no longer know, Whose true emotions really show, And who's just an act like me. Drowned in floods of tears, Insecurities, lies and fears, And no one other person can ever really see. Until one special day, When I am swept away, By kindness, love and care. My thoughts no longer bleak, My heart no longer weak, At last I feel my problems are now shared. The girl that I once was, Lonely, scared and lost, Is a dark, forgotten dream. The girl that I am now, All my hopes fulfilled somehow, Life now perfect it would seem. Although timid, shy and meek, My thoughs no longer bleak, And my confidence now regained. But I still don't really know, Whose true emotions really show, In search of love, my heart's no longer strained. Then connections all torn down, On my face again a frown, Back to where I was. More worries, lies and fears, Unwelcome with my peers, Tears reappear, as once again I'm lost. Then a spiral to despair, But I no longer care, For all my trust is lost. No longer can I stand, Pain and depression hand in hand, Now my life may be the cost.