anyone told their bf?

Hi lovely,

I have not posted on the boards in ages but I come on every day and read them.  I have posted to you a few times and I am so sorry for not posting recently, I just was so stressed with exams and everything.

I think that if you feel comfprtable with your bf then you should maybe just explain to him that you are recovering from ana and that you just don't feel 100% ready for going out for a meal yet.  You could try and use this situation to give you something to work towards and I am sure he will support u a lot if it means that he will be able to take you for a meal one day and just think how proud you will both feel when that day comes. 

If it is eating out in front of him that scares you you should try and take it one bit at a time.  You could start by eating something small at home with him and then go out for a coffee and if u feel able to do so have a little something to eat there and then just gradually try to build it up. 

Let me know how you are honey and just remember that lots of small steps will get you a lot further forward than no steps at all.

Love magic wishes xxx

Hey hunni, ive been in your position but with friends who noticed a few habits and i thought telling them was going to be awful but i found it quite easy.

I didnt go into lots of detail because i didnt want to scare them. Basically keep it simple with something like "as we are getting closer as a couple i really think i should tell you that im not very confident with my body and food. I have trouble eating and thats why ive been worried about eating out with you..."

If he asks questions tell him the truth and how you dont want it to affect the relationship. I wouldnt go into what you do and stuff because he might get too freaked out but if he really likes you and if hes worth holding onto because he will help you.

Hope all goes well! xx Lizzie xx

Heya hun!

oh don't appologise!! there really is no need hun. I've been the same, i havent replied to anyone in ages, for the same reasons as you, and since i finished sixth form i've been working 30-40 hours a week, and it's sooo draining i never get a chance! So please dont be sorry :)

that was some really good advice there, thank you so much! He's starting to get a bit suspicious, like asking why he cant take me out etc. so i think that's why i feel like i need to tell him. I have eaten with him at my house, and i am getting used to the idea, i do feel quite comfortable around him. but buillding it up slowly seems like a good idea.

you dont know how much i apprechiate that thank you! i'm debating wether to tell him when i'm a little tipsy (were both going out sat night) but then i'm thinking will i just make a fool of myself so maybe i wont lol.

Apart from that i'm doing okay. Had a ****** week this week, but ah well. Got discharged from my ed unit 3 weeks ago cos i'm 18 now and didn't want adult services, just wanted a fresh start. anyways enough about me, whats happening with you? hows things going?

take care! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hiya

It is so good to hear back from you as I have been wondering for ages how you are doing.

That's great that you can eat around your bf at your house because I still struggle eating around others and I can't even do it in front of my friends or anyone so I think you should be really proud of youself.

How did your exams go?  I got my results on Tuesday and I got 5 As at Higher level and was told I got th best in my school so I suppose I can't really complain but the amount of pressure and stress I put on myself was unbelievable so I am just glad to payed off!  It just kind of annoys me though that I can get the top grades yet I cannot do something so simple and natural and eat and enjoy normal food like most other people...it is so confusing and frustrating!

I really want to get a weekend job but I feel really scared and self-conscious about what other people will think of me that it is putting me off quite a bit plus my mum doesn't want me to be working in a shop where I will be on my feet all day as she says I am "not healthy" enough yet!!!

Honey, I think that if you feel able to tell him on Saturday night when you are out then you should and then you can just spend the rest of the time having fun and I bet you will both be glad that the truth is out but if you don't feel up to it then leave it til a time when you feel more comfortable.

How do you find it being without the ed unit?  Are you managing alright or do you find yourself struggling without them?  Sometimes I just feel like I need a fresh start but I know that without the help from the clinic I would be even more crazy then I am now!

My psychologist left my clinic and I feel really upset about that as I always feel like people are leaving me, just when I begin to trust them but my psychiatrist and other therapist have assured me that they are not going anywhere are they will be getting a new psychologist soon so fingers crossed she will be able to help me and stop me feeling so stuck!  To tell the truth I have been sturggling a lot over the summer because I have only seen my psychiatrist once because she has got most of the summer off so my head is going mad, I have not been able to stick to my meal plan and I have been losing weight  so I am a bit annoyed and totally stuck and useless feeling right now!

Hope you have a lovely weekend and sorry for all of my ramblings

magic wishes xx

Well, i told my boyfriend (ex now) and he was fine with it. just concerened about me. His step mam had an eating disorder when she was younger, so if i had a bad time when i was at his house, she was there.

He found me more than once in a heap in the bathroom, crying . But then after we broke up, he started doing it too. He'd been a complete (insert foul language) to me lol. Cheated on me and stuff, and when id finally had enough and decided to concentrate on me, he started texting me, saying he was making himself sick, not eating, cutting himself and crying all the time. Just like me, and he wanted my help. He may have been ill but i dont know, cause he did it for like a few weeks then stopped.

Now hes taking to texting me and sending me letters, asking for one last chance after he cheated THREE TIMES with the same girl.

But hopefully for you, you have a nice boyfriend that isnt self absorbed :)

Adele xxx

Hey guys

Thank you all sooo much for your support! i really apprechiate it! Basically i went to a house party saturday night, and got very drunk, and ended up telling him.  did make sure we were alone, and i didn't go into too much detail (made sure i wasnt so drunk at this point!) well he hugged me, told me it would all be okay, and it woulndt affect our relationship. But then after a while, i was very drunk and ended up losing my virginity to him. Such a regret! i remember hardly any of it! Feel like he totally disrespected me, i was half asleep, and so drunk i wwasnt really able to say no. So everythings been pretty messy since that, and we've both been different with eachother. I don't really want to be with him anymore i dont think, just because things are so different, and i really dont apprechiate what he did. But cos i also work with him, and told him about my ed, i feel like i should stay with him just so he doesnt go telling everyone! I'm quite close to a few people i work with so wouldnt want them finding out. But cos this house party was with people i work with and somehow they all knew what had happened, everyone is against him now, so im very stuck :|

adele i'm so sorry your bf treated you badly. I really do belive all guys are only after one thing! Once a cheat always a cheat. I hope you realise your much more important than any guy, and im so proud you decided to concentrate on you! well done!

I'm gona write you a post on the caring about people bit magic wishes :)

thanks you all sooo much guys!

lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hey babe x

I think you need to talk to your bf about how you feel! Dont make him upset you or make you feel bad x Lizzie xx

hello

i would tell your bf, my bf knows he knew from the start if u tell him now then if he finds out by someone else then he wont be so hurt.

but it is sometimes hard for them to cope with it as i know badly they can take it.

i ave been with my bf 4 2years n tld him at d beginning he finds it relli hard cz im loosin weight im scared he'll get too scared to touch me? its reli worryin me can ne1 giv me some advice plz xxx

Hiya,

My bf know and he has been so supportive and fantastic and I am sure yours will be too if ur boyfriend is nasty about it then they dont deserve you! I am sure that wont happen though!

and fayedarb06 I am sure your boyfriend sis just scared for you not of you!He is worried about you being poorly I am sure its not you he is scared of! Have u tryed talking to him about this? That is that is what I did with my boyfriend!

Good Luck,

Love Jennyxxxx

i have talked to him and he's very supportive like suggestin things for me to try eat but i feel weaker the longer its inside me how are you coping?xxxxxx

Ah thats really good of him I am pleased and hun keep fighting it will get better and I am fine thankyou went throught little rough patch but getting back on form!

Always here!

xxxx