Tips and motivation

Never give up. How's it going? Hope you're ok.

Frosty x

It's been harder! Days i think of life how i want it but then the next i just go back to the ed me i guess. I had a setback yesterday and i really need to get back on track. How's it going for you?

Sorry, i wrote more than that...

Sorry to hear you had a set back - just think of how great the future will be if you're healthy and let that get you through.

I know how you feel now.  my dietician says i still need to gain weight. This really upsets me. I'm fed up with gaining - it hurts! Not just emotionally. I have such a fast metabolism now that i basically have to eat all the time...i hate it! and i can't see how if i'm a normal bmi i still need to gain weight...its puzzling :S i think i may just question it with my m.h.nurse tomorrow.

How are you? x

It's okay! :) Yeah, well this week i've had a good week and gained slightly. Although today i'm struggling! I know that it's the right direction but today i seem to be finding myself slipping back, which is NOT good as there's still the possibility of inpatients looming if it drops! :L I just want to be free of this and live my life! What's helped you in recovery? I think asking is the best option, as they're professionals but at the same time, this is your treatment and you need to feel comfortable with it! Hope you get it sorted! :)

To be honest, being forced to eat was basically the way i've got to be where i am now. i'm not happy with it - it's hurt me so much. and its been a long road. i would definately not call myself recovered...but i think it'll come. i hope. i want to go to uni and to do that i need to at least look better before then. Be trusted more. then i can go and what happens after that is, welll, what happens happens.

You just have to keep looking towards the future. thats what has helped me most. I have a dream of being a doctor and having a family and i just focus on that and allow myself to be happy imagining it. Thats what gets me through. Maybe make a book full of things you want to do/have in the future? Job/nice house/friends/family etc x

So i take it you were inpatient? I've never been inpatient but right at the moment it's getting touch and go. I understand that if i went in it'd be easier but i just don't like the idea of being away from family, and i'm right in my exams now. I've turned things around once i just need to do it again. I guess i should usually do what my heart tells me, not my head! You can do it! There's some real inspirations out there, who've had this horrible, degrading, unkind illness but have come out the other end and made a life for themselves. Don't look back, look forward. I mean i know that i've lost alot of being a teenager to this and therefore i don't want it to take anything else. I think the book thing's a good idea! I was talking to someone the other day annd she suggested the same thing! Like a poster to put on my wall which i can see each day and remind myself. :) x

Yes a poster is another way you can do the book - it might be better because then its physically in front of you and you don't actually have to open it to see it?

You know you have the will power to turn this situation around, as you said. You just need to find a way to harvest and use that will power. The poster again may be a good idea as its inspirational to keep going - or maybe get some of your nearest and dearest to write you some motivational messages. That might help? i know i love all the messages i've had of inspiration in my time.

How are the exams going? And how are you at the moment? Here to talk whenever you like, about whatever you like. Frosty xx

Well... i've been creating my poster" And i'm surprised at how into it i got! It's not yet finished and i'm going to add bits and bobs whenever i find something i like. :) I think the letters would be a good idea, but i'd be too embarrassed to ask anyone. It's sometimes awkward when i ask things because i feel sort of stupid. Exams are okay. :L Glad when they're over with! At the moment i'm okay, have bad times and good times i just need to learn to deal with them and i guess learn how to follow the heart not the head because it can trick you. Saying that i am worried about my appointment this week because i'm not too sure whether i've done well. How are you? And thank you, it's always nice to have someone you can talk to! :)

Well... i've been creating my poster" And i'm surprised at how into it i got! It's not yet finished and i'm going to add bits and bobs whenever i find something i like. :) I think the letters would be a good idea, but i'd be too embarrassed to ask anyone. It's sometimes awkward when i ask things because i feel sort of stupid. Exams are okay. :L Glad when they're over with! At the moment i'm okay, have bad times and good times i just need to learn to deal with them and i guess learn how to follow the heart not the head because it can trick you. Saying that i am worried about my appointment this week because i'm not too sure whether i've done well. How are you? And thank you, it's always nice to have someone you can talk to! :)

i'm glad you're enjoying making the poster! i made one - for an assignment though :/ - a while back and actually i know what you mean when you say you've enjoyed it. Imagining anything is possible is just...well it makes me happy.

I'll be glad when exams are over too. I get nervous - not because i doubt my own skill - but because i feel a lot of pressure from other people. I am the only one in my year who got into this really good grammar school for college and because i did really well in my mocks i feel the pressure to recreate that and its difficult. i don't know how to feel really.

I think we all have good days and bad days and i know what you mean. My head loves to trick me! and often it wins the battle. i need my heart to be in charge.

Also, today has been a real struggle. and i don't know what to do now. Today i found out someone i know died yesterday and i've cried so much. i've known them all my life and yes they were ill and we knew this would happen but it still...well it was difficult. i have no idea how to cope with death - this is the first majour one i've been old enough to be 'aware' of what's happening. And i just...i can't imagine how things will be. I haven't been able to eat since i found out too. I'm taking the days off school tomorrow - i have camhs anyway and will talk to my nurse but...i just don't know. Did you mention to me whether you had any support or not by the way? Oh and so that answers your last question: i'm not too good. but i'm still here to talk.

Love Frosty xxx

Hi, Yeah, the imagining it to be real is brilliant. It's just getting it to be real now! I feel like i'm in the exact same position as youu! As i've also got into a really good grammar and need to grades to continue with the course i want to take. So stressful!! I'm sorry to hear you've been having a difficult time. I've never really been in that position myself, but maybe think about how much they loved you and would want to see you better as a way of trying to encourage yourself to keep going? You could not only do itt for yourself, and your family but for them too? I hope you get it sorted! Yeah, i have support. I go each week to a specialist place and see a psychiatrist i think it is and i have contact with a dietitian. But lately i've been trying to seek more help as i don't feel as though i've been working on the mind part of it as much, anything which will help to keep me out of inpatients, but i've also been thinking about inpatients if things haven't improved after exams, but i'm still about yes no about it all! Hope your feeling happier soon, Maz9393

Hey, ... I go to camhs weekly and i went today and have to talk about the 'troubles of the week' a lot and it was quite difficult. Also i know what its like to watch a family member suffer this illness too and i knwo the helpless feeling everyone must feel and i feel so guilty for that btu i really wish...well i want them all to leave me alone now. I'm getting really fed up of recovery. And yes i want to be a doctor. and i know to do that i need to be better but...i don't know. I hope you manage to get some more help. I can't say if IP or OP is better. You have to find what works for you. I think IP is certainly quicker but with OP you get to stay home and at least keep school and things, keeping your life as 'normal' as possible. I hope you're ok and the rest of the exams are going well. Frosty xx

Hi, How did cahms go? I go weekly too! Mine went alright today however the weight didn't! :L I know recovery's hard! This is my 2nd time because i relapsed around last summer/sep but the thing i guess we have to do is try stay positive! You can become what you want and we CAN BEAT THIS!! :) Even though at times it doesn't feel like it. My friend told me a week or two ago; 'When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry- give it a thousand reasons to smile' I'm thinking that i may go IP if by the end of exams i haven't improved much. Then hopefully college will be a fresh start. What's IP like? How are you doing? I hoep your exams have been going well, and take care maz9393 x

Hey Maz,

Thanks for the message. Camhs last thursday was ok - i saw the dietician and actually it was quite relieving because the truth about my diet plan came out so i feel relieved.

It would be great if you could have a fresh start for college -i'm hoping for this too. From what i know of IP i can tell you it provides a sense of peer pressure which means you meet some nice people in the same boat as you - they understand - and helps you to eat as well. Obviously its probably different in different places and so the amount you'll see you family/friends will be different too so i can't say how much you'll miss them. The good thing is it gets you to gain the weight in a certain time pretty much. And then that's half the battle over. You'll most likely have to continue therapy to improve your mind and attitudes towards food and exercise etc. I hope you can make a decision - i'm sure you'll be able to get better! We call can! We have the potential. And i hope all your exams are going well.

Frosty xxx

Hey, So sorry for the extremely late reply! How are you doing? Things at the moment for me are going ok weirdly- touch wood! I feel sort of different?! I hope i can go from strength to strength and gain more. I need to stop over thinking things and just do it and go for things! (: How are your exams going? I had another today but only three more left! Maz9393

Hey maz, I'm ok at the moment - how are you??

Its great that you're feeling different - as long as its a positive diffferent! harvest those positive feelings and point them all in the direction towards recovery! i know you can do it. And i like the whole 'stop thinking' attitude teehee.

I only have 1 more exam left now! Just German :D yay! If I don't reply again for a while, i might have gone 'away' - but it's only for a monthso i'll be back before you know it. All the best Maz, i'm always here for you. Frosty xxx