My say :-)

I am fourteen and i don't think that images of pretty girls in magazine and stuff make a difference to me. Its what people actually say to me that hurts the most that make me want to be someone else.

 I don't know if i have an eating disorder or not, but what you say makes sense, if your forced to gain the weight you don't want i know i will be more damaged than before, id rather have someone help me understand my problem and help me gain weight little by litte until i am a healthy weight.

i am 15 and to be honest i do think they effect me because i want to look pretty and thin and i have had an eating disorder ever since i was like 10 so i have only had it for 5 years but i still havent got better ... but yeh i think that they do effect some people because it makes you feel like you should look a certain way and dress a certain way but in reality you dont really have to its just our minds which think we do .

x x x x

hiya hunni,

I agree with what you say about weight not being the main focus of recovery. Of course having a target weight helps us to feel as though we are not being left in the dark and we are able to have something to aim for.

Since I am no longer underweight I feel as though I cannot ask for help should I need it, but am really scared of putting on a great deal of weight as I cannot seem to stop bingeing.

I do not have a specific eating disorder (i.e. anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder), and so feel as though I am often looked down upon by those working in the field of eating disorders.

anyway soz for the ramble

lexy -xxx-

 DeadDolly,

Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to your comment.
It is so sad that you feel like you would rather be someone else. The hurtful things people often say are not true, in fact, they reflect more of the person who says them than the receiver. Over 6 months has passed since you posted this comment, I do hope your feeling more comfortable and happier.

Bianca,

5 years is a long time to battle with an eating disorder and of course the media will effect  you and others who already struggle with their body image. I hope you are getting help for your eating disorder.

Try to take care! 

Lexy,

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. Don't apologise for rambling, firstly I don't think you did and secondly, that is what the boards are here for. I can relate to finding it more difficult to ask for and access help once you fall into the realm of a 'healthy weight' which for anyone still battling with an eating disorder - is not particually healthy. You may have resolved the binging issue by now but I must add that it is quite common for someone who has restricted heavily to 'lose control' and start binging. I know from my own experience, that it feels like the end of the world and that no-one could possibly understand... but I do, and if it hasn't already, it will get bettter.

Take care.

Rach

hey sweetheart,

thanks so much for your message - it's the first time I've felt any hope of getting better for a long time now!

I've kind of resolved the bingeing, but by going back to restricting - it's a never ending cycle and I feel ready to give up.

take care gorgeous,

lexy -xxx-

I'm glad my response helped.

I'm not claiming to be better myself, unfortunately I too still struggle, but I look back to where I was some years ago... and I have improved, it's just hard to keep that in mind when things get tough.

Unfortunately the only method of found of either stoping starving myself or binging is to exchange one for the other... though I do this without intention.

One day i'll be struggling to eat, the next i'll be struggling to stop eating. When stuck in one situation I rose tint the other. I.e. Now that i'm bulimic I often wish I had the ability to starve myself once again, but at times when I have been struggling to eat I have longed to eat so badly. As I have got older (I'm 21 in two weeks) I have begun to realise how in reality my eating disorder was never about food weight - it was about control, punishment and a way and means of coping with my childhood - it was the nature of disorder that turned it into a problem with food and weight. I now believe the only way I can overcome, or at least learn to live with the disorder is to face what is beneath it. As you probably know - this is extremely difficult at the best of times.

Take care.

We can do this. One day, hopefully.

Rach x 

hey sweetheart,

thank you sooo much.

I hope so soooo much.

take care gorgeous,

lexy -xxx-