Self Harm

Self-injury doesn't mean that you are attempting suicide or that you are mad.  It may be a form of self punishment or another means of coping with emotional problems. Self harm is quite literally harming yourself. Self harm is also very hard for the people who care about you to understand and is likely to cause them great distress.

Self-injury is not attempted suicide. Each individual has their own reasons for hurting themselves. You may feel you deserve the pain. You may want to experience the relief. You may also have some suicidal feelings. Self-harm is not attention seeking behaviour. Someone recently said, “if it was attention I wanted, I would take off my clothes and walk down the street!” It is about a lack of self-esteem and even self-hatred. Self-harm is not a sign of madness, it is a sign of distress. Self-injury may feel like the only way you can cope with your life – in a similar way to an eating disorder.

With help, you can learn to manage your behaviour and find other ways of coping. Understanding why you feel the need to hurt yourself is just as important as preventing it, which is why it can really help to talk to someone about how you feel, such as a counsellor.

What to do when you feel you want to hurt yourself

• Think back over the last few hours and try to pinpoint when you started wanting to hurt yourself. What events or feelings led to it? What would you be 'saying' now if you injure yourself? Can you find another way of saying it?
• Ring a friend, helper or helpline.
• Draw a picture of the wound you want to create. Write or draw any associated feelings.
• Write down your feelings in a journal.
• Try to think of other ways of expressing your feelings, such as punching or kicking a cushion, shouting, screaming, crying or even tearing up an old telephone directory.
• Do something relaxing: have a bath, yoga, listen to music or use aromatherapy oils.
• Breathe slowly and deeply (concentrate on breathing out). Imagine you are breathing out all your anxiety and breathing in peace.
• Hold an ice-cube really tightly in your hand, or flick yourself with an elastic band – it hurts but is not as dangerous and won’t scar.
• You can also try to set yourself the goal of resisting the urge for 5 minutes, then another 5, praise yourself for doing it, the feeling can pass.

Remember that different things work for different people. Some of these things might also be helpful for ideas of how to avoid urges to binge, purge or starve.

Seeking help

Sometimes, if you have had to visit your local Accident and Emergency department, you may experience treatment based on a misunderstanding of self-harm. This can make you feel even worse about yourself and lead to further self-harm. Remember that you have the right to:

• be treated in private
• be seen by qualified staff, and refuse student observers attending
• be given adequate anaesthetic
• leave the department when you wish unless you are detained under the Mental Health Act.

Try to take someone with you to the hospital e.g. a friend, a parent or advocate (someone who can speak for you).

Self Harm Guideline

The National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE) and the National Collaborating Centre for Mental Health (NCCMH) have published a guideline for the NHS in England and Wales on the care of people who self-harm. You can view all the information including the quick reference and patients guides on the NICE website

Quick reference guide http://www.nice.org.uk/page.aspx?o=cg016publicinfo

Full guidelines http://www.nice.org.uk/page.aspx?o=230428

Visit the NICE website page, with links to the various versions of the guideline, press releases, and the distribution and dissemination list for the NICE Guideline

Minimising risk

Self harm can be very damaging and we really recommend that you seek some help to try to find other ways of coping with your life. Think about things that you can do to minimise risk:

Keep a first aid kit.
If you overdose on any drugs, seek help immediately. There is no safe drugs overdose.

There is a good book which will give you more help and information about this. It is called “Cutting the Risk” and it is published by The National Self-Harm Network

Scars

Living with scars can be difficult. You may worry about other people’s responses to your scars and there may be many different ones. Remember that you are in charge of what, how much and to whom you tell about your scars. It depends on who they are and what your relationship is like with them. You need to know what is and isn’t okay for you to say – after all if you expose yourself too much you may end up feeling dreadful again and cause further scars. If you don't want to talk about it, then assertively say so, or even make up a funny story about how you got them – at least then the focus will be on you and your sense of humour rather than on your scars. Remember though that scars can show strength – “I’m still here”.

You can find more information on scars by clicking on the link to the Scar Information Service on the right.

Finding sources of help

One way of discussing feelings is by talking to a counsellor. It can be very useful. Counsellors can help you to see the underlying emotional difficulties to your unhappiness, and help you to work out why you are using this way of coping. There are youth counselling agencies around the country that may be able to help you. They may charge for counselling but most services aimed at young people are free.

It’s worth contacting other organisations too, you can find quick links to these organisations on the right. The National Self Harm Network has helpful information to download here  There is also another organisation that has resources called Papyrus

Another useful site  http://www.selfharm.org.uk/