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Louisy Total Posts: 4 Joined: Jan 2012	Hi, I'm new to here. I think I have binge-eating disorder or compulsive overeating, whatever it is supposed to be called. I am totally unable to control my food intake; it's like an addiction. I hate myself for it, but I can't seem to break this hold that food has over me. I am just thinking about it all the time and I can't stop eating. A lot of the time I'm not even enjoying doing it, but it's like a have to. I'm 19 and I'm being treated my my GP and the university counselling service for depression, which has gotten me so low - but the thing is, I think it is the eating that is the problem, I'll never be able to get rid of the depression unless I can sort this. I don't wan't to tell the GP or anyone about this because I feel like a fraud; like they'll think it's just an excuse for me being lazy and greedy, like it's not a real disorder because it's not as accepted as anorexia or bulimia. I'm so embarrassed. But I've tried to do this on my own and I can't. I'm desperate. I hate myself so much for this, I hate the way I look, I hate that I'm so weak. I just don't know what to do anymore. Tags: Posted on February 04, 2012 at 9:13 PM
148 Replies
Cyper Total Posts: 9 Joined: Feb 2012	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. It is important that you tell your GP and counsellor about the binge eating. They will not judge you. It is NOT an excuse to be lazy and greedy, it is a psychological problem. It most certainly is a real disorder, and it is important that you know this and remind yourself of it. You are not alone. It is also important to try not to hate yourself and give yourself a hard time. You are not weak. Admitting you have a problem takes a lot of guts and inner strength. It takes strength to realise one has a problem, and it takes even more strength to admit it. So, well done. I mean that. Have you considered that rather than the eating that is causing the depression, it could be the depression that is causing the disordered eating? The sooner you can tell your GP and counsellor about the eating, the sooner they can help you control it. Never, ever be afraid to ask for help and never, ever give up on yourself. You can beat this. I know you can. Posted on February 06, 2012 at 11:16 AM
bunnylove Total Posts: 252 Joined: Jul 2011	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. Louisy please be assured that compulsive eating or binge eating is in fact a recognised disorder just like the others in the group , and it will be recognised by a doctor or counsellor. Since food is the first comfort we seek as infants, I believe it has strong associations in our minds with comfort at times of stress. We have lots of unconscious associations around eatingand we can use eating to try to calm ourselves or get feelings of security and familiarity.That is not wrong in itself to enjoy a meal and to come together with others or have a break from work but if we keep turning to food every time because we dont have other ways of calming ourselves that is when a problem develops. Nice tastes can cheer us up as well but if people are very down they can often turn to food too much. If you tell your counsellor she can help you to identify the triggers and then you could discuss some alternative coping strategies you could try instead. Once you can begin to break the pattern you will rebuild your confidence that you will be able to stop bingeing or not choose to begin. I have had those feelings in the past and find I need to have interests and activities which meet my needs better. People wont think you are being greedy. You might need help to check also that you are in fact having a balanced diet and probably get advice from a dietician about structuring your meals. It will be really good if you can admit you have a problem with eating as there is help for it. Warmest wishes Bunnylove Posted on February 06, 2012 at 2:56 PM
courageandstrength Total Posts: 2 Joined: Feb 2012	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. Hi, I'm also new to this but when I read your post I felt as if I was looking in a mirror. For a few years I've always had an attachment to food, but not just food, large amounts and quantities. Day in day out I try to fight the 'binging' but it just doesn't settle. Due to this binging, I've gained large amounts of weight. Even though at times I say to myself by eating this food, it'll affect me in the long run nothing seems to stick. I'm also at University and find it extremely difficult and distressing at times as I don't consider myself a 'normal university student'. Everyone who knows me sees me as an upbeat, cheerful individual but they are unaware of how I feel everytime I am alone. I've tried on several occassions to diet and at one point was extremely successful by shedding nearly . I have luckily only gained back but I fear it may increase. I consistently say "I'll start tomorrow, i'll start tomorrow' but it never does. Being at University in a challenge and I myself haven't seen a doctor as I fear embarrassment and fear. I understand help is available but this is something I want to combat myself. I do often speak to close friends about this but nothing about binging. Often that I find it difficult to diet. But I want to get better and live a normal life. The way food disrupts my day to day life is disturbing. I find it difficult to concentrate on University work as I constantly think about food. I am determined to get better and hope one day I can prove to other people it is possible to fight this. I believe it is all faulty thinking. I know I've beat this once, I can do it again. I completely understand where you are coming from and everyday seems like a struggle, but I feel if I combat and beat this, I can do anything with my life. I'm glad I've found such a forum as I believe it is easier to speak to people who are going through the same things as me. For some people it is simply dieting and they 'fall off the wagon' due to a craving, but with me, I 'fall of the wagon' due to the fact that I binge ridiculous amounts of food. I am determined to change my life and show that change is possible. At times I feel extremely down and there are days I never even want to leave my room. Being overweight, at University and suffering food binging is an extremely difficult situation, but I am determined to turn my life around. This is an issue which is rarely publicised and people often believe it is not as severe as anorexia etc, but for as an individual going through this, it is just as hard. Constant daily battles make you exhausted and tired but I really want my life to change. I just need to understand when things go wrong or I'm stressed, binging is not the way to deal with these stresses and issues. It is difficult but I'm prepared for the challenge. Regards. Posted on February 06, 2012 at 8:21 PM
bunnylove Total Posts: 252 Joined: Jul 2011	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. Being young at UNiversity must make this problem extra difficult since it is an appearance conscious age group but also since it is a very stressful time in life as well.My daughter has left Uni now and always speaks to me when she needs to deal with anything, whereas I lived at home at her age but didnt feel I had a good support for emotional problems. It would be difficult to break this unless you had something else very helpful to put in its place.My daughter likes to look up comedy websites and entertaining pictures on the net. She also enjoys standup comedy. Warm wishes bunnylove xxxxxxx Posted on February 07, 2012 at 1:00 PM
Cyper Total Posts: 9 Joined: Feb 2012	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. courageandstrength - I just thought I would encourage you to try to seek help. I know it feels like you can do it alone and that you don't need anyone, but there really is no shame in asking for help, so please don't feel that there is. I know the feeling of "if I can beat this by myself, I can beat anything", but remember that you CAN overcome this and even if you've had help along the way, the feeling will be the same - "I have beaten this, I can beat anything!". Everyone needs help at times in their lives. The greatest athletes, artists, perfomers etc. don't do it alone. It is never necessary to feel alone, if you don't want to. Especially at University, there are people readily available to help you (and for free, which is rare). They have experience and can perhaps give you insights you perhaps would have never even considered by yourself. Each person is different, and each journey is different, but if there is help available there is no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed. Or to at least give it a chance, entering with an open mind. I would also say try not to focus on weight loss. Try to accept yourself for who you are: you are a strong person who is having a bit of trouble right now, but you are trying to get better. You will keep getting up when it knocks you down, you will not give in and you will not let this eating distress bully you anymore. That counts for far more than appearance ever did. Posted on February 07, 2012 at 2:13 PM
j57acky Total Posts: 8 Joined: Jul 2011	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. HI. I've been on this site for about three years. It all started with my anorexia,but has now turned into binge eating.I'm a lot better than i was since being on anti d's.I'm not as bad as i used to be but I still have my moments..Hang on in there I promise it will get better' love j57acky xxx Posted on February 08, 2012 at 3:41 PM
ReadyForChange Total Posts: 4 Joined: Feb 2012	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. Hi, I'm new to this but I just wanted to say that I completely understand how you are feeling - as someone else said, reading your original post was so, so similar to how my life is at the moment. All I can think about is food, I wake up everyday ready to 'start afresh' and end each day so disappointed in myself for failing again. I don't want to tell people about my relationship with food as it makes no sense, I feel like a bit of a fraud saying I have an ED. But enough about me! I want you to know that you are not alone and that people do understand. Although I am not over my problems with food, I am happy to talk to you if you need anything/just want to rant! I am way better at helping other people, just not myself. If anyone has any tips on preventing binges they'd be gratefully received! R x Posted on February 10, 2012 at 11:15 PM
Louisy Total Posts: 4 Joined: Jan 2012	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. Thank you everyone for taking the time to talk to me. With the depression and bingeing I'm not really sure if I can say that one causes the other, because they both feed into each other. I find it hard to stop thinking about food. When I overeat I feel low within myself which leads to me feeling more and more depressed - I then eat because I don't know any other way to deal with the way I am feeling. I just can't seem to break this cycle. I don't think I am ready to tell anyone about all of my food issuess yet. I guess I'm just scared about what will happen, how people will react, that I will lose control of my life - which is stupid because I am not the one in control now, food is. Thank you for listening. I don't feel quite so alone now. I hope that one day I will be able to beat this. Posted on February 12, 2012 at 1:14 AM
courageandstrength Total Posts: 2 Joined: Feb 2012	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. I find myself in the same situation saying that I have an ED. But I personally want to steer away from that and change my life for the better. The first step I personally believe is important is understanding for what reason is food the comfort/why can't they experience food as a normal person would. Then working from there and working on future goals, I'm personally hoping I will become successful in beating this and reaching a healthy weight. I personally believe that it is important to be a healthy weight in any given situation bar those exceptional reasons. My previous years of binging on such high calorie foods has caused an increase in weight which I personally believe is one of my sole reasons for being down leading to binge eating. I think finding such reasons is important to start any journey. I personally believe this issue is not publicised enough so some people may not understand where to look for advice etc and I'm hoping one day I'll reach a healthy weight and show that this can be beaten. Regards Posted on February 12, 2012 at 3:01 PM
j57acky Total Posts: 8 Joined: Jul 2011	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. HI R, Thankyou so much for you supporting post.As you say it is hard to get out of.Some days are good some days are bad,but every day you say to yourself it is going to be differant.I don't know of ant easy way out of it.Like I sais the anti d's take the guilt out of it but that is no solution.Everybody thinks I am cured ( if only they knew ) anyway we just have to keep plugging away at it. good luck. Jacky xxx Posted on February 12, 2012 at 3:39 PM
Cyper Total Posts: 9 Joined: Feb 2012	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. Louisy - it could be useful to you to write down a list of things you enjoy doing, that do not relate to food. Reading, writing, drawing, going for a walk, watching a film with friends, socialising. It could be anything. Make a list. Perhaps you aren't doing the things you actually enjoy as often as you would like. Perhaps these activities can take the place of eating. When you find your mind is "bingeing" on the thoughts of food, take a moment to write down everything that is in your head right now. Just write it down. Then take a moment to think about what you have just written, and think about if this is really the best way to be using your time, or if these thoughts are bringing you any joy. Try also to eat mindfully. You can practice this. I know it is scary letting other people know, and talking to someone about it. Most people begin talking to someone when their own method of coping has run its course. It has taken me years to turn to someone and I can finally say I am a position to make real changes in my life. I am ready to stop letting food run my life. Posted on February 13, 2012 at 2:02 PM
ReadyForChange Total Posts: 4 Joined: Feb 2012	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. Cyper, who did you tell (if you don't mind my asking) and how did they react? I've told my boyfriend and he is being really supportive but I can tell he is finding it hard to understand... I've had a really good day today, ate a normal amount of food, felt in control and did a nice amount of exercise, nothing too excessive, . I wish everyday could be like this. How is everyone else doing? The main thing I think I've realised from this site is that you can't plan ahead when you have a bad relationship with food, I definitely find it better to take things one day at a time and celebrate the little victories rather than expect too much of myself too fast. The list idea is really good, will definitely try that next time I want to binge, I think I need more ways to occupy myself and keep me away from the kitchen... Quite excited for tomorrow, I'm in the lab all day so can only eat at specific times. Best wishes to everyone! R x Posted on February 13, 2012 at 9:06 PM
bunnylove Total Posts: 252 Joined: Jul 2011	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. My friends, I thought that Cyper's advice to identify suitable distractions is a very useful one and in addition you may need to accept that you might not feel in the mood to do whatever it is but once you get over the initial hurdle of getting started , it can absorb you and you will reap rewards. In my case I always liked dancing and was at my worst when doing employment which I didnt enjoy and having few opportunities to pursue hobbies. If I am down about something as I frequently can be, I have my classes paid in advance so I go no matter what and at least I am out of the house doing something which is good for me. It does lift my mood even if the problem hasnt been solved. Getting involved in groups or classes makes it easier.Of cours it is difficult but the initial inertia is the biggest hurdle. Warm wishes. Bunnylove xxxxxxxx Posted on February 13, 2012 at 10:21 PM
Cyper Total Posts: 9 Joined: Feb 2012	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. ReadyForChange - congratulations on the good day. I used to tell myself to take it one day at a time, but I realised that the day can change dramatically. So now I tell myself to take it moment by moment. I told my absolute closest friends, who seemed to already have guessed something was up anyway, but more importantly I told the University counselling service (I happen to be a student). I also emailed a professional I found via this site (searching in the Find Help section). I told my GP but he seemed to already realise I'd been suffering, and then I've been referred to a MBCT group course which I'm hoping to get on (the interview is tomorrow actually). I'm basically going at this full force because I feel I'm in the right position, and time in my life, to do so. I was most surprised that people seemed to already know something was wrong (even though no one ever said a thing). I thought I'd hidden it so well. Completely agree with you BunnyLove. Once the activities are identified, it still takes an enormous amount of effort to start doing them. But once you do, you'll have wondered why you felt like eating earlier when you weren't even hungry. Posted on February 14, 2012 at 10:06 AM
bunnylove Total Posts: 252 Joined: Jul 2011	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. Hello my friends, I feel the mood is positive here as we have noticed that it is possible to have good days when things feel a little easier and I comfort myself on a difficult day by reminding myself of that. I have just finished a little OU course on nutrition which I agree with when it emphasises the importance of having something from each of the food groups to create a balance in a meal. From a psychological viewpoint, for me it is beneficial to get myself onto something else when a meal or snack is over. KNowing what I am supposed to be doing helps. Warm wishes Bunnylove xxxxxxxxx Posted on February 14, 2012 at 1:25 PM
LindaLee Total Posts: 15 Joined: Feb 2012	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. Hi. I'm brand new to this sort of website but I felt I needed to see that there are other people out there who know what I'm going through. I started suffering with anorexia when I was 12, I left home when I was 18 and it turned to bulimia. Now I'm 34 and for the past five years I've just turned to binge-eating. Food rules my life. I haven't worked for 9 years because of my problems so am alone all day. My biggest problem is boredom and loneliness. I can't help bingeing. I say "That's it tomorrow I'll stop and everything will be ok". But it never is. I've tried every kind of therapy over the years. Whilst they have all helped in a small way nothing has had a life-changing impact. I'm even starting hypnotherapy next week to try and get back into healthy eating. My boyfirend is amazing and so supportive but he can never fully understand what it's like. Having read some of your posts it was like reading about myself and brought tears to my eyes. I never thought anybody else would understand what it's like to be so lost and out of control. Lets hope we all find the support we need xxx Posted on February 16, 2012 at 12:32 PM
bunnylove Total Posts: 252 Joined: Jul 2011	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. LindaLee I am very sorry to rea of the devastating effect the ED has had on your life. . Being alons with nothing to do is a recipe for turning to any addictive behaviour whatever it is for anyone. I fel that addressing this could be the first line of treatment. > I dont know how possible this is for you but for me , being able to get voluntary work has given me something to do and helped my self esteem. There are agencies which can guide you to finding something suitable and there are so many actitivities out there. Paid work would be a challenge right now but voluntary work offers an opportunity to break yourself into something gently. Also I wonder if there are any mental health drop in centres for which you are eligable. When I was going through a very lonely stage and was seeing the mental health dietician I spotted activities on the noticeboard of the mental hospital , one of which I joined . It was movement for dance therapy but I also saw music groups and other things which outpatients can attend.Linda Lee I feel you need social support and cannot go this alone so please look into the possibilities. Sending you all hugs and best wishes Love bunnylove xxxxxxxx Posted on February 16, 2012 at 5:49 PM
LindaLee Total Posts: 15 Joined: Feb 2012	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. Bunnylove- Thank you for your kind words. I have started doing some voluntary work. I do one morning a week at a local charity shop. I am really enjoying it. The problem is I am so exhausted all the time I can't commit to more than one morning a week. I have found a special back care pilates class one morning a week (I've always suffered with back pain) and am really enjoying that too. I'm also starting day hospital but they can only offer me 90 minutes one morning a week. So I have filled 3 mornings a week. The problem is though I am still alone for such long periods. I know that boredom and lonliness are my triggers but I don't seem to be able to do much more than I am already. I've tried all sorts of distractions but nothing seems to work. As I said before I am trying hypnotherapy soon and I hope that this will help. I tried it a few years ago and it didn't work but I was in a very different place back then. I wasn't ready to forgive people or move on from the past. Now things are different. I've grown up and excepted a lot of things that happened and desperately want to move on. I wish people who didn't suffer with the problems we have realised that food is not the main issue. It is what we use to deal with deeper problems. I want to say that food is almost incidental to the problem but I don't want to offend others, I can only say that in my case food is just the instrument I use to cope with the deeper rooted problems I have. I know that I need to face and deal with these issues before I can finally move on from my food issues. It's wonderful to hear from others. Before I came on this website I truly believed that no-one could possibly understand what I've been through and still go through every day. It's such a relief to know that there are others out there who know what it's like. For the first time in my life I feel like I'm not the only one. Thank you. Posted on February 17, 2012 at 11:18 AM
Flounder94 Total Posts: 35 Joined: Aug 2011	re: Binge Eating Disorder? I hate it so much. I havent been on the site for a long time but i read this post and i just wanted to say that i completely understand how you feel when you worry that compulsive eating, or binge eating arent viewed as eating disorders, and as you being greedy or lazy. I was diagnosed with anorexia this year after suffering for about 3 years, and i'm recovering and happy to say stayed out of hospital, but i am not struggling with binging and purging, and i feel far worse emotionally than i have ever done. I hope you guys are all okay, just stay strong and never give up. Hopefully can make some new friends and beat this together. Love flo x Posted on February 17, 2012 at 4:29 PM

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