Total Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 2012
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Hello,
This is the first time I've written on here, but I've read through loads of the messages people have written and they have been so encouraging and said so many of the things I want to say.
I have been bulimic for 2 years, although there have been times when it has been worse than others. I am currently in what feels like a very black spot, and am beginning to feel slightly desperate. I b/p regularly, and feel as if I have no control, and that my obsession with food is beginning to take over my life. I feel very lonely, , and would be embarrassed admitting to anyone, as it seems like a very trivial problem. I have told my parents, and have been seeing a psychiatrist for a year, but still feel utterly dependent. Is there anyone out there with some advice on how to cope? I would be so grateful.
Ally
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Posted on February 21, 2012 at 8:59 PM
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Total Posts: 36
Joined: Aug 2011
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re: Bulimic and scared
Well done for asking for help Ally. I'm really glad you're seeing a psychiatrist. Are they an eating disorder specialist and giving you treatment? There are effective treatments out there for bulimia such as CBT and you have the right to receive treatment. Bulimia is so not a trivial problem. I feel that it is ruining my life at the moment. I'm at work now, having a rubbish day as I feel too weak and tired to do a good job and I'm so distracted by worried about food. You are right to take this seriously and ask for specialist treatment. The better times for me have been when i've managed to eat regular meals, making me less likely to binge. Even if you have binged, try to eat your next meal as normal. Try putting things in place to stop you purging, such as eating with friends, phoning or emailing someone. Sorry, I know it's not that easy. Wish I could offer more. Stay in touch.
Aimeex
Posted on February 22, 2012 at 12:12 PM
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Total Posts: 8
Joined: Sep 2011
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re: Bulimic and scared
Hi Ally,
I am sorry to see that you have found yourself needing to use these boards, but on the otherhand well done for coming on the boards and sharing your difficulties/reaching out to those that will understand exactly what you're going through. I myself have been bulimic for a long time and I know full well that there can be periods of time when the ed is worse than others. I am sorry to read that you feel as if you're currently in a black spot and are feeling slightly desperate, I realise how hard these moments are to try and work through, but just try your best to remain strong and maybe you try making a list of all the positive things that you've got in your life right now or that you've got coming up which you can look forward to, as it may help shift your minds pattern of thinking negatively for a brief moment in time and help you realise that things are not quite as dark as they seem right now. It is great that you've told your parents about your bulimia, how did they react and are they being supportive? It is also really good that you are seeing a psychiatrist, but don't beat yourself up about feeling utterly dependant on them, as that is a natural thing that seems to happen and I suppose in a lot of ways it makes sense that we become so dependant on the therapist we are working with, after all in most cases we have been seeing them for long periods of time and have told them things (from the deepest/darkest depths of our soul and inner-self) and things that in many cases we haven't been able to tell anyone else, so forming a strong bond/attachment is only natural, as I mentioned above. I did exactly the same with my therapist and never believed that I would ever get to a stage where I would be able to cope on my own, without weekly meetings of seeing my therapist, but the truth is, that overtime when you do become stronger both physically/mentally and overall within yourself, you will learn how to manage/cope/deal with things on your own and you will no longer feel the need to turn to your therapist whenever things become tough. That may seem like a long way off right now or difficult information to accept, but trust me, if it happened for me, then the time will come when it can also happen to you. Oh and with regards to feeling lonely, well you never need to feel lonely again, well not as far as your ed is concerned anyway, because everyone on here is going through or has been through something similar to what you're going through now, so as I said above we all understand and we are all extremely suppoortive of one another, so anytime you do feel lonely just come and chat on here and hopefully we can help you move past the feelings of lonliness. Also please do not feel embarrassed about admitting to anyone that you are suffering from an ed, more and more people are being diagnosed with ed's these days and the stigma/secrecy/embarrassment related to them is becoming less and less as times move forward. Plus bulimia or any ed for that matter, is certainly not a trivial problem, if it effecting your "health" and "well being" which it obviously is, then it is not a trivial problem in the slightest, it is a big problem, that can lead to devastating consequences, so please whatever happens, never think that your ed is trivial and therefore you're not worthy of having any support or help, because that's just not true and YOU ARE MORE THAN WORTH IT
Kate X
Posted on March 03, 2012 at 8:52 AM
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Total Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 2012
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re: Bulimic and scared
Dear Aimee and Kate,
Thank you both so much for your wonderfully supportive replies. It really does mean so much to be able to be able to go on this group and write how I feel, without being embarrassed or having to lie. I am so grateful for your kindness.
Things have still been very up and down - my eating patterns seem to be fine so long as I have some kind of a routine established, but when I am alone or not busy at work (particularly at the weekends) I seem much more prone to binging and purging. I am not sure why this is, but would be keen to hear of any strategies either of you have to avoid the urge? At the moment I find if I am with other people or working I am much less likely to feel sad and alone, but obviously it is impossible to always be with other people! And I hate making my friends/family feel pressured to always be with me. I really don't want to them to feel guilty as they are already being so amazing. My parents, my mum especially, are so wonderful, but I don't live very near to them, and I worry how hard it is for my mum when I always call her up crying. More than anything I want to beat this, and go back to how I was 2 years ago. I just don't know how to get back there.
Please do get in touch and let me know how you are doing.
Love Ally xxx
Posted on March 05, 2012 at 9:13 PM
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