Hi Flo

It was actually my mum who coaxed me into going to the doctors and admitting I had a problem. She teaches mental health you see so she knew the signs. If she hadn't nagged on at me I probably wouldnt have gone and would still be right back at sqaure one. She's my rock in like everything and I know I couldnt do this without her. She's going to make it up to see me this weekend so I'm really excited!

Yes my friend is much closer. She's a little drive away so I can't see her every day but I can see her often enough for a hug if I need one. She's been absolutely amazing through this, I couldnt have picked a better friend. If you and your friend could club together to tackle your EDs then that would be great progress. Maybe talk to her, like my mum did to me? Show her this site and explain how she doesnt need to be afraid of admitting she has a problem as she is not alone and it can be fixed!

I hope you find a better place to live in your next year at uni. A stable environment which you feel comfortable in will be vital to your recovery.

The reason that the NHS denied me the therapy was that they believed there was no immediate threat to my health or to my life so I wasn't a serious enough case to warrant the use of their time. I was pretty furious about it because I feel like I am being punished for asking for help early before this gets too out of control. It's almost as if you have to suffer in silence for years and become incredibly ill to warrant their support. Disgusting really.

Anyway, I've picked myself up and dusted myself off and looked for help in other ways. I simply cannot afford to see a private therapist so that is definitely out but there are a couple of charities in my local area who offer group therapy and also telephone/email "buddy" schemes. I'm not sure I'm ready for group sessions quite yet (although I wouldnt rule it out) but I have signed myself up for the buddy scheme which means I get weekly contact from a counsellor once a week. It starts at the end of the month so that is something. I've also made an appointment to go back and see my GP again next week to see if there are any other options for me on the NHS or anything else she can do for me.

I've come to realise that ED's are all about power. They get power over us and control our lives and it's hard to fight back. Well not anymore for me, I'm taking the power back and getting a hold of my life. I'm sick of it dictating what I can and can't do and ruining my life. Next year after were married, my other half and I want to start a family. I cant do that when I have this hanging over me so I need to get better. You guys on here have all helped me get to this point and realise it so thank you for your support. You're all amazing!



Take care and have a good day

S xxx