|
Viewing 1 to (10 Total) Fiona! Love Hayley Jo :-) |
Total Posts: 28
Joined: Jul 2011
|
Hello!
How are you and yours getting on? Christmas soooon!
I am so glad to be home, I got back last night. Lectures are still on, but I just felt like I had to leave. Going Christmas shopping with my sister after lunch. The city I live in made me cry it was that busy so I've done none so far!
I have been given a late approval for my dissertation, but I am desperately trying to avoid it because I don't agree I should have one, so that is how I'm spending the holidays. I started it a couple of days ago, and it is due in at the beginning of January. Oops! Also got my major project going on. Stressful! What have you got planned?
I've been in hospital way too much this term. I no longer have to see my CPN (because I don't get on with him) and the MHP is brilliant, but it's too easy to cancel on her? And I cancelled the referral to the psychology department too. Head of Student Wellbeing pulled me up through made MHP aware of what's been going on. GP wouldn't give me a prescription to last me the holidays , so I have to see another doctor here. The notes say 'personality disorder', but they haven't said anything about it to me and I didn't want to ask... Like I said I need home!
Managed 2000 words for my dissertation now, and I'm finding it quite a nice break from my other projects. Feeling very down about my work, I got a * for a project I tried sooo hard on, and it was a medical product that my GP loved! Now I am doing toys, but they want me to speak to buyers etc and I find that a bit much?
Wish you were here come speak to me! Lots of love.
Tags:
Posted on December 14, 2011 at 11:46 AM
|
|
10 Replies
|
|
Total Posts: 28
Joined: Jul 2011
|
re: Fiona! Love Hayley Jo :-)
Hello
I am in a very productive but sleepy mood! I have already written to 4 highly influential designers, written up my survey responses and about 200 words for my dissertation. I'm aiming to hit 5000 words today, then I will go out with my family, and then I will do some research for my other project. It's never ending!
Parents are really annoying me already. They keep shouting at me for really ridiculous things, like I left my jumper folded up on the sofa beside me, and my mum went off on one about it? And I left my charger where my Dad keeps his, because I was sat there, went to pick it up and he got really arrogant about it being there?
Then when I just say anything back to them it's ME with the attitude problem. Arghh. I don't understand them? They are actually stressing me out more than my work, which they also don't seem to understand. I'll be doing my dissertation and mum will actually sulk at me if I say I'm not going somewhere! Rant done
I do feel better being home though - I don't want to go back to Uni. I've arranged so I can post my dissertation up for the original hand in date. I keep getting worked up about going back and I don't really know why. I do like it there, I just need my mum, or just someone?
I do so hope you are well. Have a happy christmas!
Posted on December 22, 2011 at 8:09 AM
|
|
Total Posts: 28
Joined: Jul 2011
|
re: Fiona! Love Hayley Jo :-)
Hi Fiona
Happy new year!
I have now finished and bound my dissertation. Another 20 credits down!
I'm a bit nervous about heading back to University. I don't feel I can manage a design degree anymore. Sitting down writing an essay, fine. Ringing up buyers of major design firms and presenting ideas, most definitely not fine! My tutors are so blaze about it and I'm like the complete opposite.
I just don't know how to deal with it all, I wish they would force me to stay with the meds and gp and psych and mhp... It's too hard it being my choice I want them to force it on me?
x
Posted on January 04, 2012 at 12:58 PM
|
|
Total Posts: 28
Joined: Jul 2011
|
re: Fiona! Love Hayley Jo :-)
Fiona, I really wish you were here. I was so sure my GP understood but she clearly doesn't get it. She said it seems like I am game playing because I am constantly like I want help/I don't want help. Welcome to my world. She was like we can't help you if you aren't open and honest with us, but I am being? How much more honest can you get with someone than admitting to doing ED things/SH/OD and trying to explain why? Especially when I have never admitted this before off my own back. Then she gave me a lecture because I cancelled a referral, and then changed my mind with MHP who contacted her for me as I didn't want to because I didn't want to speak to anyone. I should've been the one to do it, and yeah I totally agree, but I felt I couldn't at the time because I got to a point of hating the phone etc and you know how long these things take? My MHP asked me to e-mail my request to her so it was documented. It's not like I can ask my mum to do it?
I really just want to get my degree done with and GP was like we need to help you long term.
I am sure I am going to fail the latest module. I just don't have it in me anymore.
My GP is lovely and well intentioned but the situation just seems hopeless.
Back on the meds (but I don't want to take them), referral is in place, seeing someone at the school tomorrow about PEC and sorting disability next week with MHP.
I just want to go home.
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 11:19 AM
|
|
Total Posts: 28
Joined: Jul 2011
|
re: Fiona! Love Hayley Jo :-)
I miss you.
Landed myself back in hospital. I'm so tired.
Uni is so so overwhelming. I popped in to the school office to hand in a form and the lecturers who know bits and bobs about me were like "are you ok? is someone looking after you?" I just wanted to cry! Wish you were here to talk some sense into me. Everyone is brilliantly helpful but they just seem like strangers still
Posted on January 26, 2012 at 12:46 PM
|
|
Total Posts: 28
Joined: Jul 2011
|
re: Fiona! Love Hayley Jo :-)
Programme leader rang to discuss suspending studies last week I don't want to mess up but I have so much work, I'm not good enough and I have no idea where I will be in a few months time. I feel so rubbish.
The programme leader promised it was my call to make as long as I am compliant with the professionals, keep in touch and let them know when I use the workshop for safety reasons, but they want me to drop out.
Posted on January 31, 2012 at 11:02 AM
|
|
Total Posts: 28
Joined: Jul 2011
|
re: Fiona! Love Hayley Jo :-)
I got a first for my dissertation!!! 
GP properly scared me yest but think I needed it, I also saw the notes from psych liason team and it just showed it from a different viewpoint? She's pushing on the psych dept front.
xxx
Posted on February 02, 2012 at 8:44 PM
|
|
Total Posts: 28
Joined: Jul 2011
|
re: Fiona! Love Hayley Jo :-)
Wish you were here
Been back in hospital. Messing up so so much. They have referred me through to psychiatry as well as psychology now. Really struggling.
Had to get a 'fit to study' note with 3 months to go until my final hand-in.
I miss you xxxxxx
Posted on February 25, 2012 at 9:33 AM
|
|
Total Posts: 28
Joined: Jul 2011
|
re: Fiona! Love Hayley Jo :-)
Hi lovely.
Still hanging on to the hope you will come back sometime! Really really hoping all is OK at your end??
I am meeting with psychiatric team tomorrow. So scared of new place and new people but I hopefully won't drop out. Organised a focus group for my project tomorrow afternoon too - also new place and new people!
Got an appointment with hairdresser in a week - also eek - lol. But I asked for the same person to do it haha!
Managed a presentation a few days ago as well. My lecturers were quite shocked like. I didn't freeze!
Just putting myself in uncomfortable situations seems the best option right now.
Take care!!
Posted on March 18, 2012 at 11:54 AM
|
|
Total Posts: 28
Joined: Jul 2011
|
re: Fiona! Love Hayley Jo :-)
Hi Fiona!
Hope you are well!
Things here are going much better. No trips to the hospital in almost two months now! Even thinking about doing a masters next year alongside setting up a small craft business. Slightly hesitant given this past year but things are much better.
Psychiatrist wants to refer me to people specialised in eating disorders. I don't feel like I have one though? .
Apparently I have several mental health issues which I really struggle to relate to !
Getting there with my major project. Really enjoying it and onto the fun parts now. I've justified that there is a gap in the market in a 100 page document and now I'm onto the fun part. I bought myself a sewing machine so I'm powering out the models!
Hope we can talk sometime. xxx
Posted on April 13, 2012 at 2:55 PM
|
