beat :: Lack of Empathy and Increased Pressure

Viewing 1 to 7 (7 Total) Lack of Empathy and Increased Pressure
Adele Total Posts: 297 Joined: Jul 2011	I am sat at work having been told over the phone last night that I need to find my niche. That if I can't pull myself together and put on my 'coping head' then that cld be it for me and my department, that things cld fold. I have a colleague whom I normally work with and for the last 7 or 8mths has been off work with a foot problem. I have done my best to run my department single handedly and to take on extra work load because of it. A few weeks ago it really did become too much and I got signed off work. I am back now but it is what I had feared. Nobody understands my situation. They think I am weak and pathetic, that I sld just be able to cope. They can not see that I am stronger than any of them for through all my mental health issues and lack of self-esteem, through depression and lack of energy from lack of food, I am still working. I am still doing my job and pushing myself to my limits, but apparently my limit is not good enough and I have to push beyond that. There are ppl at work who I thought understood, but it seems that even to them mental health is sth which I can control myself. That I chose my moods and mindsets. That I put myself in these situations. All I am doing is fighting, fighting myself, fighting anorexia, fighting depression, fighting to stay at work, fighting to be well, fighting to keep eventing. Apparently now I also have to fight for my job. I never (rarely) get any physical illness, viruses and the like, but to take time off work through mental illness is frowned upon. I really wish I knew how this cld change. Tags: Posted on June 09, 2012 at 9:44 AM
6 Replies
BabySteps Total Posts: 18 Joined: May 2012	re: Lack of Empathy and Increased Pressure I am so sorry that you have had to put up with people whom seem very single minded and possibly afraid of the truth. I'm sorry that they don't seem to want to understand. For some people it's too much effort, and for others they just don't want to due to being afraid or it being too much. The difficulty at work is that sometimes it is hard to find someone you can trust. I found this out the hard way - someone went running off to the manager and I was in trouble for well, being ill. Do you have a good manager or anyone higher up than them you could go to? It's not good management to expect anyone to take on two people's work load, let alone someone with difficulties such as yourself. If you wanted to take it higher than your line manager it might help? I'm not really sure about things to do with work anymore, I don't tell anyone anything due to that one incident. I have unfortunately become quite untrusting of my colleagues. No fault of their own! Take care x Posted on June 10, 2012 at 9:43 PM
foreverhealing Total Posts: 1 Joined: Apr 2012	just a point of view Hi... just wanted to drop a few thoughts.....I found through my 14 years of an eating disorder to not care what anyone thought of me...or maybe I have just hardened my shell against anyone judging me at all......these are just a few conclusions I have come to for myself over the years....I do hate the fact that I have to fight an eating disorder daily but I do not regret my eyes being made more opened on life.....hardship brings realization...... Posted on June 11, 2012 at 6:44 AM
artanddance Total Posts: 105 Joined: Apr 2012	re: Lack of Empathy and Increased Pressure So sorry that you are having to go through all of this - let's face it would any of us choose to have anorexia?? (or bulimia/BED etc) - I very much doubt it. This results from more pressure than we can handle and is a physical manifestation of stress and mental turmoil. I am sorry that you are not getting the support that you need and deserve... I would take this higher up the line... Hugs A xxx Posted on June 12, 2012 at 12:51 AM
menotme Total Posts: 12 Joined: May 2012	re: Lack of Empathy and Increased Pressure Hi Adele, I don't know the structure of the company you work for but generally speaking, you should have access to an occupational health nurse or department. These departments, in my experience are very helpful and supportive. So, if you have an occupational health nurse, speak to them today. If not, speak to your HR department manager. I understand how difficult this will be but, you need to find the strength to raise your concerns with them. This is the first step in a process that will formalise the position you find yourself in and allow the company to give you support you need. You have obviously been putting in a lot of hard work which you should be applauded for. Try to step back from everything that's been said to you to date. First and foremost, you need to be given space to communicate how difficult you are finding things while fighting your ED. In doing so, you'll be able to communicate the problems you have identified in your department and team. I would be very surprised if people around you think you are "weak and pathetic". It's very easy to fall into that kind of negative thinking when you're under the kind pressure you are and dealing with your mental health issues. Be kind to yourself. You're doing a good job and you're trying hard. All you need is some help just like everyone else does. Take control of the situation and seek the space and support you need from HR or your occupational health nurse. Stay positive, stay strong and keep fighting. Posted on June 12, 2012 at 12:29 PM
Adele Total Posts: 297 Joined: Jul 2011	re: Lack of Empathy and Increased Pressure Hi, thank you all for your thoughts. The unfortunate situation is that I'm a vet and I work very closely with the owner of the business. He cares in his own way but the truth is that if I can't manage then I'm sure there wld be someone else who cld. to get someone else in to help. I am left with extra work load and duties. It is very hard to get a job in my area of work in the area which I live and I get on very well with the clients and staff in this job, it's just that no-one can help make things easier... There is a lot of pressure right now and it seems no logical or easy way to reduce it or to get better. Whilst I have all of this going on I can not focus on recovering. I found that ads in the past have not helped me but now I'm wondering if I sld try them again? I am so stuck. Thank you xxxxxx Posted on June 13, 2012 at 2:09 PM
menotme Total Posts: 12 Joined: May 2012	re: Lack of Empathy and Increased Pressure Hi Adele, First thing I'd say is that it's only you who knows what's best for you and only you can decide what to do. From personal experience, it's not possible to see a positive and clear route forward when you're stuck in the middle of things. It's at times like this when it's most difficult to get a different perspective on problems. You can't focus on your recovery while dealing with the additional pressures you are currently dealing with at work. but You're proposing a solution: You can't leave work, take time off or raise your concerns with your manager so, you're seeking support through the use of ADs. It's a small business, you seem to be understaffed and taking on additional responsibilities. Will the medication reduce the pressure associated with this? If it wont reduce those pressures, might it help you deal with those pressures better? Stay positive, stay strong and keep fighting. Posted on June 13, 2012 at 4:41 PM