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Viewing 1 to (139 Total) New, lost... in need of inspiration |
Total Posts: 49
Joined: Apr 2012
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Hi,
I am totally new to posting on this board but decided to give it a go in the hope that I can gain and maybe even offer some support.
I have been suffering from anorexia to varying degrees (although thankfully never severely) for the past 13yrs since the age of 14.
Having now had two beautiful children who I owe my world to, but am letting down horribly, I last year once again succumbed to the ED and now find myself back in the grips of something I thought I had overcome.
For the first time ever in my life, last year I admitted what was going on to a G.P who had raised mild concern about my weight when I joined the practice and I was referred to the local ED department. After my initial assessment I was diagnosed with anorexia and offered couples counselling (which my husband has refused to attend as he doesn't really know the depth of the issues and doesn't really want to get involved out of concern for the kids and also a deep mistrust for psychologists!), a dietician consultation...which is now no longer possible due to staff shortages but has been re-requested through primary care (eg. my G.P), and a place on the VERY long waiting list for individual psychology.
I now feel very stuck and don't know which way to turn. I struggle to feel like my issues are even a problem and feel like I am wasting the time of the people working in what is clearly (and sadly) a very overstretched service.
Any advice/comments would be very welcome as I just feel completely lost!!
Thank you for reading my ramblings!! Wishing you all the very best in your struggles xx
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Posted on April 10, 2012 at 5:39 PM
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140 Replies
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Total Posts: 32
Joined: Nov 2011
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Hey lovey,
We've all been there, thinking our EDs aren't serious enough to justify seeking professional help and 'wasting' resources that could be used for other people. But you need to put yourself first. If you want this to be dealt with once and for all you just have to keep going, keep waiting on the waiting list, and keep getting as much professional support as you can.
I'd say your motivation here are your children. You don't want them following any bad habits, which is why you need to sort this out. You CAN do it! I did I recovered from anorexia 5 years ago and it was the best thing I've ever done. Because it's been going on for so long for you it might be hard, but just keep fighting, all the time.
I'm helping a family friend who's got anorexia at the moment- she's only * but I tell her to get those boxing gloves out and thwack the voice of the eating disorder away whenever it has the cheek to tell you what to do.
Hope that's helped, let me know how you're doing
Lots of love,
Jess xxx
Posted on April 11, 2012 at 8:36 AM
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Total Posts: 183
Joined: Apr 2012
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Hello there
I'm recently new to this site as well and while I havent been suffering from my ED nearly as long as you have, I can completely understand how you feel.
My Fiance is similar to your husband. He is one of these people who is skeptical about Mental Illness because he can't see it. I havent even been able to tell him about what is going on yet because I'm terrified that it will damage our relationship beyond repair. Im already paranoid that I'm pushing him away and that he'll leave me. I highly doubt he ever would as were very solid but this thing does funny things to your head.
Support is a major thing when going through something like this and it can sometimes fell like we dont have any. Suffering from an ED is a pretty lonely thing. Maybe you could talk to your husband and if he doesnt want to attend couples counselling then you could suggest other ways he could support you. He says that he doesnt want it to affect the kids but if you dont get the help you need and the support to go with it, undoubtedly they will become aware of what is happening. Kids are extremely intuitive. At least your husband is aware you're suffering, I'm still too afraid to tell mine.
As for waiting lists, they are the worst thing about all this. I've been told it could take 4 weeks for my initial referral to see the Community Mental Health Practictioner and it's been 2 with no word. Im struggling now and want it to hurry so I completeky understand how you feel.
We are always here to chat if you are having a bad day or feel like you need a rant or to vent. I've found this site extremely helpful in the short time ive been on it.
I hope today is a good day for you.
Take care.
S xxx
Posted on April 11, 2012 at 9:14 AM
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Total Posts: 49
Joined: Apr 2012
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Hello,
Thank you both for your kind and thoughtful posts...it is indeed a lonely place to be sometimes and to have people who understand where you are coming from and who are not judging you is a huge relief!
Jess...5 years that brilliant!!! What an amazing achievement...just proves you must be wonderfully strong and great that you are using your experiences to help your friend- not always an easy task I am guessing?...can I ask how you came through it and what keeps you going? As I said in my first post I thought I had managed to overcome it whilst having my kids but I realise now I was 'jolted' out of it by the shock of having them and never really dealt with the issues behind it all just shelved it for a bit! I really liked what you said about fighting the ED when it tries to tell you what to do..I find it hard to know which voice to listen to... the one that says 'go on free your life up and enjoy it' or the one that says 'but there is nothing wrong with you and you are weak for giving in'. You are totally right it is my biggest fear that one or both of my children should ever fall prey to these horrible feelings, I already worry that they pick up on some of it and work so hard to promote to them a healthy outlook on themselves and food...if only I could take my own advice!!!
Sian77....Sorry to hear you are struggling and having a painful waiting time too, its the worst!! But it will come and I truly hope you will get the help you need. I completely understand your fear about you fiance leaving you, my husband when I was having my kids actually said if I ever gave into the ED again he would leave me and take the kids....I know it is an empty threat really as we too have a good relationship in many ways, but those words have always stuck with me! I only told him after being referred to my G.P and it did indeed go down very badly despite him having pleaded with me in the months before to stop losing weight and eat properly, since then we have been completely unable to discuss it and I have stabilised myself a bit better and so I hide it as much as possible.
I guess in some weird way I found strength in his scorn before but now I just cant bear to let him in to my 'secret' world for fear he will gain insight and see who I really am or something and not like it. Perhaps we both need to take the plunge a bit and try to open up the communication but where do you start!!?? Could you perhaps ask your husband to come to your appointment with you when you get it? Maybe then you can start the journey together and he will hear/see first hand that your issues are very real and you need him to help? Easier said than done I know....sorry if I haven't been very helpful!! Stay strong and well and thanks again for your kind response, here if you need to chat too.
C xxx
Posted on April 11, 2012 at 4:47 PM
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Total Posts: 183
Joined: Apr 2012
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Hi C
It sounds like your husband and your kids are your motivation to beat this thing and I cant think of a better one! Whevever it gets hard you can just think of your children and know that you dont want them to go through this and it will give you the strength to carry on. I have every faith that you'll get through this!
Thanks for the advice on "taking the plunge". I think you're right we do need to try and let them in more. This thing is so much easier to fight with someone else in your corner and even if your husband doesnt want to be too involved, a kind word of encouragement or a hug goes a long way. I dont think I'm quite ready enough to take him to my first appointment but I really do feel like I'm ready to tell him, I'm just not quite sure how yet. Any advice on how to approach it?
Hope today is a good day for you! Take care!
S xx
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 8:44 AM
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Total Posts: 32
Joined: Nov 2011
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Hey C,
Thanks! I was only 15 when I first got anorexia and thankfully my parents noticed quite early on, within a year of professional therapy I was better again. I relapsed a bit when I came to uni but doing fine now. Helping my friend has re-opened the box of worms that I closed tightly shut when I recovered 5 years ago, there's been lots of raw emotions resurfacing, remembering how I used to be, and finally experiencing for myself how much I hurt my parents . I've blocked out most of that year which worries me because I'm not really able to say what caused me to get better as I can't really remember! I think it was the fact that I had constant love and support from my family and friends, knowing people loved me and wanted to help me did huge things for my confidence and self-worth, which is why I think getting your husband on board might be really worthwhile.
What keeps me going: my periods came back after a couple of months), so whenever I'm having a bad day I think of that.
Dealing with the underlying issues is really important too. I saw my ED as a coping mechanism for stress in my life, so for me it was about being able to cope with my stress in other ways, or not getting so stressed in the first place! Being able to accept that I'm not perfect and however hard I try to be I never will be, and that's ok.
I totally get what you mean about which voice to listen to- when I was ill I couldn't distinguish between 'the real me' and the ED, and therapy helped me to see which was which.
About being 'weak' and 'giving in' by eating, maybe turn it on its head- you're fighting this, you're not weak at all, eating is actually the brave and courageous thing to do, you're more weak if you listen to the ED. I know it's easier said than done!
Glad Sian's here with us to help with husband stuff, I think that could be a really important step in your recovery.
Keep going, you can and will fight this, total recovery IS possible!
Lots of love xxx
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 11:41 AM
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Total Posts: 183
Joined: Apr 2012
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Jess,
I'm so glad to hear you're recovery is going well, it's great to have something to focus on when you're having a bady day to keep you going. It's very inspiring to know that recovery is possible and that its permanent! 5 years is amazing! Well done you!
I've bought a self help book under the advice of my GP and it gives 6 steps to recovery. After some encouraging words and advice from everyone on this site I think I'm ready for step one and have decided I'm starting Monday! Scary stuff but I feel like I can do it now. I dont think I could have without the support on here so wish me luck!
C,
I agree with Jess, getting your husband on board seems like it may be vital to your recovery. I think getting mine on board will be vital for me too so that is my next mission. I just have to think how to approach it and then I'll do it when I'm ready. Might have to enlist some family help though! We will see!
I also agree that dealing with the underlying issues is a HUGE thing. That is what I need to do the most I think. It feels like if I tackled those then tackling the ED would be so much easier. I cannot wait for this referral to come through from the CMHT.
Good luck both, hope today is a good day!
S xx
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 12:29 PM
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Total Posts: 49
Joined: Apr 2012
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Hi,
Thanks for your positivity guys it really is inspiring me to keep going and believe that maybe I can (and should continue to try!) to resolve my ED issues...although struggling a bit today, lots of conflicting thoughts and feelings.
Sian....How are things going for you? Hope you are having a good day. I just bit the bullet when I told my husband and came out with it albeit in a quiet moment and after some planning! But it was a very uncomfortable evening!! He was very upset and angry that I hadn't spoken to him before going to the G.P . On one hand it was good to get it out in the open because I guess the anger/upset would have been much worse if he had found out by accident but the reaction has scared me away from now communicating further.
How do you really imagine your husband will react if you told him? I expected most of the reaction I got, which did help me in preparing myself for actually telling him so maybe playing out the scenario (which I am sure you have done in your head a thousand times!) and thinking of responses to his reactions may just help you feel more confident in dealing with any fall out if and when you do decide to talk to him? I do think you should at least try and tell him something about what is going on in your life because you deserve the support he may be able to offer you and he deserves the opportunity to give it? YOU CAN DO IT!! xx
Jess... Good that your parents were so supportive and got you help at such a crucial time.. I think any 'hurt' you feel you caused them will have been made up for tenfold through your recovery, they must be so proud of you...believe me as a parent all I care about is my kids health and happiness regardless of what else they do/don't achieve. Perhaps 'opening the can of worms' is a good way of somehow testing your resilience a little and making sure you have the ability to remain recovered (which you clearly do!!).
Interesting that you use your health eg. having your periods to stay focussed, that was a big issue to me as by the age of 20 was told I would potentially find having kids very hard...this really hit home with me and inspired me to recover ...then I had my children it wasn't something I had valued before...and think I probably should a bit more now ...thank you for reminding me of that :o)
Totally relate to your perfectionist traits and coping mechanism stuff I guess its just about letting go of the control...I just wish I knew how! Therapy sounds like it was key for you and I feel it is definitely the way forward but have been told there is a minimum 1 year wait so I guess I will have to try and keep treading water and staying afloat!!
Sorry for more long ramblings... thanks again for your wonderful words. Cxx
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 1:43 PM
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Total Posts: 105
Joined: Apr 2012
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Just read this and again I can really relate to this - esp the bit about the two children. I am on my own with my two and I feel like I am letting them down too :'(
People who haven't been here say I should just "snap out of it" - If I could don't they think I would??
Also, I hear what you say about thinking you are wasting peoples time or that you are not ill enough. This is EXACTLY how I feel. When the chap at the clinic drew up my weight graph I HONESTLY thought it was some kind of conspiracy going on between the ED team and the friends from church who dragged me there.... To this day I do not believe his chart but he assures me it is correct.
Other friends always go on about how "ill" I am but I just don't see it and see myself as normal. That is all part of this illness.
I really hope that you can get the help that you need to enable you to live life to the full with your children.
(hugs)
xxxxx
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 4:17 PM
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Total Posts: 183
Joined: Apr 2012
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Hi C
I'm doing ok thank you. I'm hoping that today will be a binge free day, going to try really hard. I'm being left on my own tonight while the other half goes out to play snooker with his friends and being alone is a hard time for me so I think I'm going to have to follow the advice I gave to another lady on here and distract myself. Im thinking a nice hot bubble bath with a good book should do the trick! 
I really dont know how he will react when I tell him. I dont think I seriously believe he will leave me but I am sure he will be angry and upset. I just hope that the angry and upset time doesnt last too long because I know if I have got him behind me I can do it. I've been dropping a lot of hints lately about stuff but he doesnt seem to be picking up on them so I think I'm going to have to do as you did and bite the bullet. I'm not sure how yet so it may take some time but I do want to tell him because I need him.
A 1 year wait on therapy? That's quite a long time. Dont think I could wait that long! Good luck and I hope you hear something soon!
Take Care
S xxx
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 4:29 PM
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Total Posts: 32
Joined: Nov 2011
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Hey everyone,
Sian- I really hope the self-help book can help you, good luck with your new start on Monday, you can do it! We're here for you.
C- well done for biting the bullet and telling your husband. I'm sure in the long run it'll have been the best decision, even if he's angry at you now.
The friend that I'm helping at the moment (she's more like a little sister to me seen as she's 7 years younger than me!) came round yesterday and we went for a day out. It tested my patience a bit but she did eat well. The way she talks about it all does seem very attention seeking though, I guess it's a matter of finding the right balance between showing her I'm supporting her and that I love her, vs. showing that too much and encouraging her to be a drama queen, which quite often she is, not related to food. Tricky one. At least she's getting professional help like I did. Can't believe there's a 1 year waiting list for therapy C. I waited just under 2 months and it was the hardest 2 months of my life. My mum and I were counting down the days those two months, but luckily the NHS postcode lottery worked in our favour.
Going to my boyfriend's house this weekend, hoping to get a job down where he lives when I finish my final exams in a few weeks' time. Hating the unknown at the moment, i don't like not knowing where I'll be in a few months' time! Hoping it won't cause any bad food days. When I first told him that I'd just recovered from an ED when we first got together, he read the entire b-eat website and it really helped him to understand. Maybe nudge your husbands in the direction of this website?
Hope you all have a good day
love and hugs,
Jess xxx
Posted on April 13, 2012 at 8:58 AM
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Total Posts: 183
Joined: Apr 2012
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Hi Jess
Thanks for the message. Glad to hear the recovery is going well for your friend! Im sure that with you helping her a long the way she will do great!
I enlisted a friend yesterday to help me out. I called her up and basically blurted out everything to her in one go. After she had taken it on board she asked me some questions and was really supportive. She asked about my book and has asked how she can help me with the steps. She's going to keep in touch with me regularly and we're going to meet up in person once every week or two just to catch up and see how I'm getting on. I'm so glad I asked her, she'll be a massive support.
I've also decided that I am going to tell my other half. I cant sleep on a night worrying about it and I hate not being able to be open about it with him. A big part of my ED is eating "in secret" and I feel like if he knows then it will be harder and I need this. I'm going to sit down with him this weekend when we are alone and come clean. I think he'll be disappointed that I havent told him before now but I think once he has had chance to take it on board he will be there for me in the way I need him to be. It's good advice to point him in the direction of this website so I might just do that thank you!
Hope you have a lovely weekend with your boyfriend!
Take care
S xxx
Posted on April 13, 2012 at 10:44 AM
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Total Posts: 49
Joined: Apr 2012
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Hi all,
artanddance - lovely to hear from you, sorry you are having tough times too....being a single parent must be very challenging, you have my every admiration and I am sure you are doing a fantastic job with your kids who I am sure love you endlessly and can definitely be your inspiration to carry on, but we are all here if you need some extra support
Its good to hear I am not alone in struggling to believe some of the things I'm told by medical professionals but I guess there is a reason they are on that side of the room!! I guess it is part of the disorder to struggle with the realism of the situation and also to remember that it is not just a numbers game but there is so much more involved. (hugs to you too) xx
Sian - Hope your evening alone went ok, can be difficult left alone in your own head sometimes. Wow... you are making some HUGE steps towards recovery and your positivity and strength of spirit are so inspiring I really hope they take you you where you want to be. Self help book sounds like an excellent idea and a really practical way to start your journey. Wishing you loads and loads of luck with talking to your husband, very brave and totally a step in the right direction...keep us posted on how it goes... we are all behind you xx
Jess - yes, seems I have lucked out on the NHS postcode lottery...I'm hugely supportive of the NHS but feel I have been let down..that's life I suppose... I totally appreciate the difficulties with an overstretched service but the problem is it feeds into my anxieties that I don't deserve/need the help enough!! Just got to play the waiting game and hope one day it comes.
Exams, new jobs, moving...stressful but exciting times for you and understandable that you feel nervous about the unknown of the future but I am sure everything will work out just right and you totally do not need the extra stress of 'bad food days' I reckon if you use your lovely boyfriend and family for support you will get through it all brilliantly. With regards to you friend I guess it is about reassuring her she is interesting and wonderful enough without any 'food issues' and you appreciate her for who she is. Have a really fun weekend xx
Ahh Friday....hmmm weekend....family time .... pretending all is ok ...anxious already, see you on the other side! Take care all xxxx
Posted on April 13, 2012 at 1:56 PM
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Total Posts: 183
Joined: Apr 2012
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Hey!
My night alone never happened. The other half's snooker game was cancelled due to some of the guys being ill so he stayed in. This meant that last night was a very good night. No binge!
It's lovely to hear you say my positivity is insipring. I dont feel very positive some days but if it helping you guys then great because you are all helping me! I'll try and keep it up! The self help book is brilliant. Step one starts monday so I'll keep you all updated.
Dont worry about the weekend. Just take deep breaths and live it moment by moment. Dont stress or panic and enjoy it if you can!
Have a good one!]S xxx
Posted on April 13, 2012 at 2:51 PM
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Total Posts: 32
Joined: Nov 2011
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Sian,
Well done for confiding in your friend. Support from people who love you is so so important. I hope she'll keep in touch and be there for you along the way. Well done for being strong!
And a massive well done for deciding to tell your other half. I think it'll make recovery a lot easier for you- I know it's going against what the ED is telling you but if you can be strong and tell him, he can help you. You're so brave.
C- the NHS can be pretty rubbish when it comes to postcodes. Who knows where I'd be if I'd have had to wait a year. I think my mum's hair would be a lot more grey ;) you DO deserve help, help would benefit you, overstretched services don't mean you need help any less. I think if I can get through these next few stressy months and settle down with my boyfriend it'll all be ok
With my friend- I've been trying to teach her that beauty comes from within, that she's beautiful inside and out. telling that to a 14 year old's not the easiest of tasks!
sending you all positive vibes over the weekend. stay strong, stay brave!
lots of love
Jess xxx
Posted on April 13, 2012 at 3:52 PM
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Total Posts: 183
Joined: Apr 2012
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Hi Jess
Thanks for the lovely message. My friend has been brilliant and we have come up with a plan together. It's so good to have someone to talk to again! I'm talking to my fiance this weekend though so wish me luck, Im very nervous!
Also C - I agree about the NHS. I have just been told that the community mental health service will NOT see me because apparantly my condition is not "serious" enough to warrant the use of their time. I am livid!! They haven't heard the last of me, I wont let them beat me!
Have good weekends all.
S xxx
Posted on April 14, 2012 at 10:58 AM
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Total Posts: 49
Joined: Apr 2012
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Hi Sian,
That is rubbish news about you CMHT appointment, its such a frustrating system sometimes but please please please dont let it get you down and affect your wonderful positivity and fresh start towards recovery with your book and friends support. Hope the talking to your husband has happened and was a success and he is now on board too. Keep up the amazing work!
I am sitting here feeling anxious and guilty about eating Husband picked up and commented on a few things adding to the pressure but I have been remembering all the positive advice and encouragement you guys have given me which has helped ...hopefully enough to stop the Monday crash! Take care xxx
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 9:16 PM
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Total Posts: 32
Joined: Nov 2011
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Happy Monday everyone
Sian- how did talking to your fiance go this weekend? Hope you had the strength to do so. It'll be worth it in the long run. So glad you've got your friend behind you too, every bit of support counts!
Silly NHS. I highly doubt they'd say that to you if you were physically injured, so why not if you're mentally injured? When my mum started telling family members about my anorexia when I was ill, she always told them to show the same level of support as they would if i had, say, a broken leg, if not more support. I was talking to a friend about this last night as she had an eating disorder when she was younger too, but never sought professional help (she's better now). You have to look at it not as a diet, or a lifestyle choice, but as something that is wrong and therefore needs solving. I know almost a dozen people in my life who have had anorexia or bulimia, some have got better, but there's a couple who have had so little support that everyone sees it as just a lifestyle choice for them- as if they're CHOOSING to not eat. The NHS seems to have given up on them. Which is why support from those around you is SO important, so you can tackle the problem together, and see it as a problem that needs actively solving.
Sorry if that doesn't make sense, bit of a ramble/string of random thoughts!
Hope you all had a good weekend feeling cheerier about job prospects today, me and my boyfriend decided on the weekend (after a few tears from me) that it doesn't matter how much i'm getting paid or where my job is, we'll live together even if it means we live off * (am i allowed to say that?) for a year ;) i guess it's a matter of getting priorities right in terms of making sure you're the happiest you can be, and that's really important in every bit of your life. Have realised that he's more important to me than a perfect career- we're still young, i've still got time to save the world and be prime minister before i retire ;)
meanwhile the girl i'm helping, my 'little sis', is growing up fast! she's 14 going on 18... her mum died when she little, can't help thinking that there's no way she'd be allowed out dressed like she dresses if she had a female frowning down upon her! tricky times, still trying to drum into her that beauty on the inside is more important than beauty on the outside, but it seems we're going to have to talk about unwanted attention/wrong type of attention if she carries on leaving nothing to the imagination in the way she dresses!
lots of love
Jess
xxx
Posted on April 16, 2012 at 10:17 AM
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Total Posts: 183
Joined: Apr 2012
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Hello Jess
Thanks for the lovely message!
I agree, the NHS are very silly. If I went there with a broken arm of someting they wouldnt turn me away so why should they with this? I thought that the NHS were supposed to treat everyone equaly and fairly? This obviously isn't the case and I'm seriously considering putting in an official complaint! They shouldnt let people get to a critical condition before they offer them help they should help people with all degrees of the illness. I say illness because an ED is a mental illness and needs to be treated, its not a "Lifestyle choice" as you have quite rightly pointed out! Grrr!!! Anyway, enough of my ranting, I have been looking on the internet for various self referral options and have been in touch with a few local services so hopefully I will be able to get some help that way.
The chat with my Fiance sadly didnt happen. I bottled out of it at the last minute because I just couldnt work out how to bring it up or what to say and we were having such a nice relaxing weekend together I didnt want to ruin it. I do want to tell him and I will, I just need to pick my moment. I'll keep you posted!
Really glad to hear that you are feeling more positive about things. You're completely right, it's important to be happy above everything else. I'm one of these people who tends to compare what I have got in my life with everyone else and I end up getting jealous when they have something that I dont have. I seem to be incapable of being happy with my lot and I think that is partly where my ED stems from, looking at other women and wanting to look like and be like them. I need to train myself to be contented with what I have in my life and who i am and to prioritise my life in a way that suits me. It will take me time but I will get there. Seems like you've got it figured out so it gives me confidence that I can.
Glad to hear that things are going well in the mentoring. I really think that your "little sis" will benefit greatly from your advice and guidance, she's a very lucky girl!
S xxx
Posted on April 16, 2012 at 1:50 PM
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Total Posts: 32
Joined: Nov 2011
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re: New, lost... in need of inspiration
Sian,
Yeah, it seems mental illness takes a back seat in the NHS funding and effort, I feel they don't really seem to get it in most places. I see now how lucky I was to get therapy in an eating disorders unit specialising in adolescent cases within 2 months of first seeing my GP. But, you CAN beat the odds and do it anyway! As the cheesy pop song goes, I get knocked down, but I get up again. etc well done for being pro-active and looking on the internet for more help. you CAN do this!
Don't worry, you'll do it when the time is right. Do let us know how it goes. Maybe mention these boards and say there are other husbands out there (like C's) in the same situation- don't know if that would help, it's for you to judge. He's not alone in this either.
Yeah, it's so easy to compare what you have in life with those who have it better- realised I've been getting so hung up on getting a good job that I've forgotten how precious my boyfriend is- it's a matter of seeing what's actually valuable in life- eg. children, a loving partner, kind friends, family, happy environment etc, as opposed to the biggest house/flashiest car/most amazing career. Being able to be content with what you have is a very important life skill i reckon. not that I've mastered it just yet...
Hope you're having a good day
xxx
Posted on April 16, 2012 at 4:51 PM
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