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Viewing 1 to (26 Total) New to the Adult Boards... :-/ |
Total Posts: 9
Joined: Aug 2011
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Hi,
It'll soon be time to come over to the dark side from the Youth Boards...
Haven't used beat much since last year, but relapsing pretty badly... Just thought I'd say "hi" and maybe start a thread that I can use if I need to. Sorry for taking up room on the boards.
Hope you're all okay.
SF
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Posted on February 02, 2012 at 7:09 PM
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25 Replies
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Total Posts: 47
Joined: Aug 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
Superfry!
it feels like forever since i've said hello! How are you doing? sorry to hear your relapsing 
what's been happening? have missed u lovely!
love n hugs xxxxxx
Posted on February 03, 2012 at 6:33 PM
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Total Posts: 9
Joined: Aug 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
Joey!!!
Jeez, you've no idea how good it is to see a familiar face/name. How are you doing? What are you up to nowadays?
Sorry I've been missing in action... I thought isolation was the way forward, but it absolutely is not! It's been so hard, and messy, and horrible, yuck. I did actually manage to get pretty far doing it my way, by myself. Even for me, I made progress (woo). But it's just way more complex than I wanted to admit... so... back to square 1.
Back in therapy as of this week. Hate myself for it and feel weak and vulnerable all over again, but, I'm miserable and tired of being miserable! For some reason my magical powers have diminished... you've no idea how many times I've screwed my eyes shut really tight and wished it all to go away, and it just hasn't. I'm losing my touch. Need me a new space-hopper, clearly.
So good to hear from you, thanks for replying.
Really hope you're doing okay, would love to hear what's been happening at your end.
SF
Posted on February 03, 2012 at 7:17 PM
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Total Posts: 47
Joined: Aug 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
Aw my lovely superfry am posting u a brand new sparkly space hopper n lots of hugs!
i guess i've been a bit distant from beat...too many changes n unfamiliar faces n never able to get on chat :s So it was lovely to see ur name on here, though sorry it's not going well...
I'm doing okay...am about a quarter of the way through my masters! eek! and loving it despite how draining it can be physically n emotionally...
...actually i used space-hoppers in my placement with kids! had obviously seen the therapeutic use in beat chat!
it's hard being on a therapy course as there's no break from therapy...you're either learning about it, applying it in placement or receiving it! (compulsory for the course) but im learning a lot and a lot about myself which is gd i guess, if not hard!
i would def recommend creative therapies...esp if talkings not ur thing...
Ur not weak at all, vulnerable maybe, but ur only as vulnerable as the ed allows u to feel. there's a strength in reaching out and saying maybe someone could help...! and only we know how much strength and effort it can take to hold onto and ED, and also the strength to let go...therefore there is no weakness at any point of having an ED, but the biggest strength comes when we say it's time to recover
how is everything outside of EDness?
Love n hugs and a little sparkly dust!
xxxxx
Posted on February 03, 2012 at 9:55 PM
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Total Posts: 162
Joined: Jul 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
Hey SF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did you spacehopper it here???? 
love you, it's not as bad here as I thought it wld be and now that they've started chat...it's almost the same!
How are you huni???
Love and hugs xxxxx
Posted on February 06, 2012 at 8:31 PM
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Total Posts: 162
Joined: Jul 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
And to add (sf and Joey), it's like most of the old gang back together, cos Aimie's back too!
Posted on February 06, 2012 at 8:35 PM
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Total Posts: 9
Joined: Aug 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
Joey:
Thank you for the space-hopper - totally needed it
I agree - I got completely confused by the new site - still don't know my way around. How is the Masters going? What is it in (sorry, worst memory)? I'm glad that you're learning things about yourself, must be weird being surrounded by therapy... maybe also good though, being unable to avoid it, etc? Creative therapy scares me more than normal therapy, I have 0% creativity and I get mad when I can't do things! Had T tonight - struggling still. Not sure I was born to talk, but I have an amazingly supportive few friends helping me out with this (and other stuff that needs resolving) so I owe it to them to keep going...
Everything else is... busy. Love my job (finally!), living with a friend, still playing sport, etc. How is everything with you? x
Adele:
Hiiiiiii!!!!!!! So good to see your name, too!!! Yes, I space-hopped here on my new space-hopper (courtesy of Joey). How are you hun? How's it all going? Would love to hear how you've been.
... There's an adult chat? What? And where is Aimie?? I have the attention span of a gnat with no brain so trying to search the boards Maybe we'll catch up on here or chat.
Right, got to go. Thanks for the replies.
SF
Posted on February 07, 2012 at 11:01 PM
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Total Posts: 27
Joined: Aug 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
hey guys its It'llbeok (i had to change my name)
How are you Smallfry havent spoken to you in yonks? xxx
Posted on February 08, 2012 at 5:06 PM
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Total Posts: 162
Joined: Jul 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
It's meant to be on a weds huni from 6.30pm. Aimie (destiny) has only just come back too and Emma was around for a bit also (daisychains). I'm ok, I'm ploughing on like you...I actually like my job too- a lot but I h8 feeling like a commodity which is what employment is I guess. I want to feel valued and cared about.
Where are u working sf? Like in what job?
hugs xxxxx
Posted on February 08, 2012 at 6:58 PM
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Total Posts: 47
Joined: Aug 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
Joey:
Hey Superfry,
you're welcome for the space-hopper! i hope it's getting you places!
hehe no worries, my memories pretty bad too and it's been a while! it's in Dance Movement therapy...definitely strange being so surrounded by therapy when i'm at uni, and then coming home for weekend's to life being almost back to normal! but yeah am able to see the positives of it (mostly!)
the thing with creative therapies, despite their title, is they're not about ur abilities...but i guess it's just a given thought about it! so many people are unsure about coming to dance therapy as they feel they can't dance...but everyone can move...even if it's just the eyes! hehe!
aw am so pleased that you've got some supportive friends...often they are the biggest key to keep going on that space-hopper...they tend to have surplus supplies of pumps as well!
Yay as well for loving you're job!
how's you're week going?
im good, just been home for the weekend to go away with a group of women from my home church...such a lovely weekend! a nice break from uni and all things therapy! hehe!
love n hugs! xxxx
Posted on February 12, 2012 at 9:37 PM
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Total Posts: 47
Joined: Aug 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
Adele! lovely, how are you doing!?
Am glad you're liking you're job! though sorry you're feeling like a commodity
what is you're job again? (obviously been too long since I've been on here! sorry)
how are things going for you? and you're week?
And itllbeok/befree! hello lovely, it's been a while!
how are you doing? what have you been doing?
love n hugs to you both!
xxxxx
Posted on February 12, 2012 at 9:40 PM
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Total Posts: 162
Joined: Jul 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
hey, how are you both????
hugs xxx
Posted on March 02, 2012 at 8:10 PM
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Total Posts: 198
Joined: Sep 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
SF?
Love and hugs. I am in same position as you minus the therapy.
hope your ok
CS. x
Posted on March 09, 2012 at 7:17 PM
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Total Posts: 9
Joined: Aug 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
Eeeeek CS!!! Eeeeek itllbeok/befree!!!
Jeeez, you guys are here at the right time!
How are you both? It's been way too long... fill me in - what have I missed? Hope you are both okay and still plodding along in the right direction. Obviously I hope you're bouncing along on your spacehoppers, but I know that's not always easy.
Adele - I'm glad you like your job - what are you doing? Sorry that you feel like a commodity - that's never fun. Unfortunately I think that's part of the working world - and I'm sure everyone's felt like that at some point. But, before long we will rule the world so it will be okay!
Joey - the Master's sounds awesome, I'm so glad you're enjoying it - you will be an awesome therapist I'm glad you had a good weekend away with your church friends, too. What did you get up to?
x
Posted on April 11, 2012 at 7:25 PM
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Total Posts: 198
Joined: Sep 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
Hey,
At the right time? oh dear things not at all great for you then. funny though I brought the spacehopper analogy into another post on adults boards as a pick me up.
I keep falling off my space hopper though I am pretty rubbish tbh. Work is going really baddly and my life is being turned upside down
Hows u?
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 10:26 AM
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Total Posts: 9
Joined: Aug 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
Oh no doesn't sound like you're having a good time. What's happening hun? Anything you can talk about here?
I got told I'd lose my job if I didn't sort myself out by this week. Was forced to go to the GP on Thursday and now being sent back to the Mental Health Team who I was with three years ago. They suck and they don't listen to anything I say. Have an assessment in a few weeks and I just can't even be bothered. I have a T already and I dont want to start all over again. Sooooooo annoying!!!!! Feel like I've been coerced into doing it and it makes me reluctant to try. I'm happy with the T I already have, she's a private T not NHS. What's the point in talking to someone else? I tried to explain that I've been such a mess because I am trying to work through a lot of really unpleasant stuff that goes back a long way and not because I'm not getting the right help. But again, nobody is willing to listen to me or to accept that I'm trying. For the first time I'm actually TALKING and this is what happens. Just wish people would cut me some slack.
Anyway, sorry for the rant. Just having a stress since the MHT called me (while I was at work which was great!!). Really hope you're okay. Let me know if I can do anything to help. Was good to hear from you.
SF x
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 12:02 PM
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Total Posts: 198
Joined: Sep 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
Oh hunni, SF I am so sorry. Also they can't sack you without a lawsuit on their hands. If your not well and they sack you for not getting help (other than what you are getting) they have broken an employment law ... cant remember which one. However, they obviously like you and care about you to threaten you with your job.
Ouch I remember the hassle you had three years ago. Poor thing. It could be different this time around. A lot can change in 3 years.
It is hard work getting better on your own and you need all the support you can get. Take it you can always turn it down or ask them to see you once a month and carry on seeing the private therapist. You never know they may agree to see you on that condition and even offer to work with your therapist. If it aint broken dont fix it type of thing. If you are able to speak to this private T and although slow progress it is working. It may help and solve the problem of work. All I am saying is give it a go. You never know and of course we are all here for you to.
I have just started seeing a private T and blimey I have covered more ground with her in 6 sessions (two of which were this is how I work etc... so four sessions if I am being picking) than I have with anyone. She seems a lot easier to talk to and I dont really know why but the most important thing is that she listens and is making an effort to understand me...something I think has always been missing within any other type of therapy I have done. I trust her (if you remember that is something that I just cant do trust someone else). I wouldnt swap her for the world and I am terrified that now she will leave but so far so good. Also she is concerned about me. The money the problems everything and not because its her job and she has to
Work is a nightmare and I am really struggling with it. and life in general is pretty messed up.
Enough about me.
Hows it all going? Hows the space hopper.
CS
xxx
Now I have ranted.
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 1:34 PM
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Total Posts: 198
Joined: Sep 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
I have something scary happening in may well scary for me but I have to do it but its not helping my ED. Its just another battle I have to face both personally and through my ED. Its a challenge and I guess that is why I am back on the boards.
CS
xxx
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 3:01 PM
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Total Posts: 9
Joined: Aug 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
Hey,
May sounds as though its going to be tough whatever it is, but it's nothing that you can't overcome , I promise you that. Have you managed to talk it over with your T? I'm glad you've also found someone who you've clicked with - I never realised that would make such a difference, but the very fact that I actually want to TRY at the moment is like insane progress. Granted I've not managed to tell her much at the moment, but I haven't ran in the other direction yet, for me that is good. I hope you're able to talk over whatever is worrying you at the moment with her. If not you know I/we will gladly listen and try to help however we can... What's happening with work? And life in general? I'm sorry you're struggling so badly
Thanks for the advice. I know, it sucks. The reality of it is that they can sack me. I'm on a long-term casual contract because our organisation is Government-funded.. it's complicated but it basically means I have no "rights" as an employee and they are allowed to fire me tomorrow for no reason at all if they want to. That makes this whole thing so much harder, stressing about losing my job only makes me perform worse at work!! GRRR! I just don't feel having two T's is helpful. It's hard enough opening up to one, and she wasn't even assigned, I chose her myself. I am struggling with being an outpatient. Just so out of control and I cannot stand it. But my hands are being tied and it's unfair. I'm being proactive, I sought help, and now I'm feeling frustrated Moan, moan, moan, sorry! I will give it a go, I don't have a choice,I don't feel able to be honest with everyone at the moment
Right, need to go. Will catch up soon. Stay strong please, let me know if I can help in any way. Will be thinking of you.
SF
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 5:49 PM
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Total Posts: 47
Joined: Aug 2011
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re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/
Hello
Am sorry, realised i've been away from here for far too long!
wishing i could come and sort things out for u guys! sounds like ur both having tough times at the moment, but SO amazing to hear ur both working with ur therapists! that made me smile, and i know its in the midst of tough things, but praying its enough to hold u through the rubbishness and keep u on ur space hoppers!
im kinda working with mine...feeling less inclined than ever before to let ED take over which is something i guess!
my course is amazing though so have more reasons to push recovery... but its intense, no escape from the therapy - learning about it, giving it and receiving it!
anyways, love n hugs to you guys (got essay writing to do...fun times) hope ur having good weeks?
xxxx
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 7:26 PM
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