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Scared to admit I do really have an eating disorder - new to here

Slavetospartacus

Slavetospartacus
Total Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2012

Hi - I've made myself admitt that I am struggling with eating. In one breath I believe I'm ok and just being silly but on the other hand I know I'm only lying to myself.

My problem is this - I've lost a lot of weight (through dieting & exercise) over a period of years but now I find myself so frightened to eat properly I'v been making myself sick. It's been going on for over a year.

I do eat though which is why I don't think I've got a problem. I still like to exercise when I can too.

What do I do? Is there anyone here who has experienced similar or going through exactly the same thing? Am I being stupid?

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Posted on January 13, 2012 at 12:56 PM
3 Replies

purpleprincess

purpleprincess
Total Posts: 22
Joined: Dec 2011

re: Scared to admit I do really have an eating disorder - new to here

No your not being stupid, im in exactly the same boat. Im scared to admit i have an eating disorder because i dont know if i do. i do eat though same as you but there is other stuff going on.

Hello. im a newbie to this site. i was looking on the internet and found this website. I am 14 and im scared I find myself preoccupied with food and i have gone on eating binges where i feel that i may not be able to stop. I feel that others would prefer it if I ate more. sometime i make try and myself vomit after ive eaten. I feel extremely guilty after eating . I feel food controls my life. I hate eating in front of people and will therefore try and avoid it as much as possible often get upset or angry with myself after ive eaten or binged. People have high expectations of me and i don't want to let them down. I have done a lot of research on eating disorders. friends and family have expressed concerns over my eating. I discount their concerns and tell myself and others that im fine. i often feel sick,weak and tired. i compare myself to other people. i easily become angry, upset or annoyed. in articles about eating disorders i see myself in them. i feel that my eating is out of control and taking over my mind. christmas was hard but I still ate what everybody else yet just smaller portion sizes. However when we went out on wednesday we had an argument because I didn't want anything to eat. I rarely get hungry but no-one seems to understand that. I only tried to make myself sick once which I was expecting me to do it more often over this festive period. I don't feel comfortable going to my doctor and scared that he won't understand and just send me away. My eating is ruining my life. I feel fat ands have been called it in the past and regularly get called it by my sister but I don't think they understand the effect it is having on me. I don't want to tell people because I feel I won't have the same image that people want me to have. talking about problems or how I feel isn't one of my strong points and beens I have a * its easier to access emails which is why I contacted you. I feel no one cares and won't understand when I tell them. I don't want this to ruin people's expectations of me by breaking down into tears. Nothing major happened just I didn't like being the weight I was and how I looked upset me. I've lost * but I still don't like how I look. Last year christmas was good but I'd say couple months into last year something clicked and I wasn't happy with my body or weight. I want to stop but I hate the feeling of being full so tried to eat small amounts to solve this which then makes people worry. If I eat too much I feel awful and then try+make myself sick as a punishment. So I kind of can't win either way if you can see that. I also have other problems in my life.



I dont feel confident that i can tell my parents because im scared they wont understand. i dont know what to do and im scared

Posted on January 14, 2012 at 7:31 PM

Slavetospartacus

Slavetospartacus
Total Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2012

Purpleprincess -

Hi Purpleprincess

Thank you so much for replying to my post - I'm sorry it's taken me a while to get back to you. I totally understand what you're saying, I'm 30 years old and to read what you've put at 14 I need to encourage you to please please - open up to someone. You're so young and I'm honestly not trying to be hypocritical but I just feel as an older woman I must tell you that.

Telling your family is a hugh step but I believe they will be more upset with themselves for not picking up on how you're feeling or for supporting you. If you don't feel like you can tell them just yet I think you (like me) have done the right thing by getting it off your chest. Carrying something like this around with us will do more damage so it's important to talk.

You can tell me absolutely anything you want whenever you want if that will help - I will do all I can to support you.

I am now going through the phase of hating my body -


I've suffered with depression for a number of years - the problem is I know I bring a lot of it on myself. I just can't seem to stop.



Please let me know how you are xxxxxx

Posted on January 24, 2012 at 1:25 PM

RosexParade

RosexParade
Total Posts: 6
Joined: Jan 2012

re: Scared to admit I do really have an eating disorder - new to here

Hi slavetospartacus,

I know exactly how you feel too. Sometimes I worry I'm just being stupid and I don't have a problem. I am going to the GP on Wed and I'm terrified that I'm going too be turned away and told I have just been silly. I worry that the GP will think I am attention seeking or something. I have only told my mum, and my boyfriend, I can't even tell my closest friends because I think that even they won't believe me.


It's a comfort to know I'm not the only one in two minds. I am just forcing myself to go because I really just want the help now you know? It's such a scary thing though. I'm terrified.

Posted on January 30, 2012 at 7:12 PM
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