carole

Posts

Viewing 1 to 20 (49 Total)
re: Izzy and Mazzar Mazzar, sorry for the delay. Not been too good at all. My dad died suddenly at the end of Jan and I've been finding it really difficult. ED behaviours are starting to creep back in but am managing to hold them off at the moment with the help of a good friend. Hope you are keeping ok - this weather is awful, am so sick of being cold all the time! Hope Izzy is ok, have you heard from her at all? Take care, Carole xxx Posted on March 22, 2013 at 12:32 PM
re: Exercise addiction and EDs I'm similar to you with the exercise. I classed myself in 'recovery' from Ana last year even though I too feel i would panic if I couldn't exercise. The last couple of months have even really bad for me after my dad died suddenly. I've been training for road races - I've always loved running and my mileage has increased which means that I need to also increase my food intake which I'm starting to find hard - One of the lads in work is a keen cyclist and I told him about my ED and he has even giving my advice. I know that myself I also need a rational voice to actually tell me. If I miss days though I hate it, even though I know recovery days are important .. Like you I don't socialise and always come up with an excuse because I hate the way I look and have really low confidence and currently always feel like I'm moaning and bursting in to tears because of dad dying so don't want to make people around me as miserable as I am. Just make sure that you are eating enough - I've been fighting this for many years now. Take care xx Posted on March 22, 2013 at 12:27 PM
re: scared of christmas Hello. Sorry you didn't get a response re your post - this is my first time back on the boards for months. Hope you managed to cope over Christmas? Carole Posted on January 02, 2013 at 4:41 PM
Izzy and Mazzar Hello!! Sorry I haven't been on for months but have been really busy with work. Have thought about you both but just didn't get round to coming on here. Not sure whether Izzy still comes on and really hope it's just because she's busy and happy with the baby, organising a wedding and going to work. Mazzar, hope you are better and the girls are being good! I'm still at a healthy weight and BMI and eating normally, though I do still have my exercise. Hope you had a lovely Christmas - I went and stayed at my sisters. My little nephew is so cute now and a right little character shouting auntie Carole hehe and loves my little dog. I spent all my Christmas money on boxing day - bought a lovely new bag and purse and am meeting my friend on Friday in town for a bit of a shop. Have you bought anything nice? Lots of love and hugs to you both, Carole xxxxxxxx Posted on January 02, 2013 at 4:39 PM
Can't Sleep Hello, one of the side effects of an ED and everything that goes with it is lack of sleep. It's hard to stop your mind working overtime at night but something that I find helps is to close my eyes and just focus on my breathing - not trying to slow it down or anything, just as it is but when I do it properly it stops my mind wandering and I fall asleep. It does take practise and doesn't always work but because I know it does work when I do it properly it's my backup xx Posted on January 02, 2013 at 4:31 PM
re: old member no where to turn Hi Em! I remember you - I haven't been on the boards for ages. Sorry to hear that you're still struggling but you are stronger than you think, and will get through - you are doing the right thing by getting help but you need help with your ED too. Do you remember when we used to have the tunnel where we could make rooms how we wanted them and it was always sunny, and the gardens were always lush. It used to make me feel so much better when I knew I could go there an chat to friends in the same place - a safe place is what you need Lots of love, Carole xxx Posted on January 02, 2013 at 4:26 PM
re: Eating disorder Hi Carly This is my firstvisit to the boards for months - fortunately I've been in recovery now for 12 months though it's been hard. I'm in my 40's so the behaviours have been embedded along time. I eat normally now and am a healthy weight but do still exercise. How did you cope over Christmas - I found it easier this year but still a stressful time. Hope you're ok and apply to chat if you want to x Posted on January 02, 2013 at 4:20 PM
re: Izzy hi Izzy!!! So sorry I haven't been on - hadn't realised you had responded originally either! How are you getting on and how's the little one? Think I'm going to get a move within the team but still not sure when so getting a bit impatient now lol. Had time off to watch the Olympics and absolutely loved every minute of it! Have also spent loads on skin care and make up recently and need to reign myself in but finding that hard hehe. Are you back at school this week? My friend is who's a teacher and she is dreading it as having a really bad time with the head. Hope Mazzar has had a good holiday and is feeling better too x Lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Posted on September 02, 2012 at 1:35 PM
re: Izzy Sorry about your friend Izzy. That's a tough one, I wouldn't like to be in your position as even sitting around people who are on constant diets stresses me out as I have the competitive streak as well like you. It's really hard some days not to slip back. If your friend tries to talk to you about it I would tell her to go and get professional help and maybe tell her that you will find it hard to support her on a one to one level as you're fighting to stay in recovery yourself? I can't even watch supersize Superskinny anymore for fear of it triggering me. I went and had a word with my boss who is not my immediate boss anymore - throne who I used to work direct to. He knows me inside out and how things affect me - he's having a re-organisation within the team in a few weeks so I've asked him if I can move away from my current line manager. She is a really nice person and so supportive on a personal level but.... We'll see where I end up - maybe making things worse for myself as I really enjoy the job I'm doing. I was told last week that I'm getting a Â£50 voucher for going over and above what was expected of me on a recent pice of work I've been doing so that was a nice surprise and I Lready have it spent in my head lol. Going to get some more beauty products. Anyway, don't beat yourself up too much about the,purging. I keep having little binges with multipacks so not too impressed with myself either. Are you stillseeing the therapist? Take care, lots of love Carole xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Posted on July 22, 2012 at 9:52 PM
Izzy Hi Izzy, Happy Birthday for last week!! . Try not to beat yourself up about purging, we all have our lapses and recovery is never going to be easy. I could quite easily slip up some times but up to now have been strong enough to fight against it. I ave to check all my lymph every week and get myself so worked up about it each time i physically shake! However, I have even treating myself with lots and I mean lots of nice cleansers, moisturisers, nail polishes, make up lol. Glad you managed to fight off your panic attack as well as I ate them too. I'm finding it quite difficult in work at the minute because of my lie manager. She is a lovely person and is not horrible and will do anything for anyone and is really supportive but she is just not very dynamic and it's starting to really wind me up - I shouldn't let it and i keep trying to tell myself that I've been through a lot and still am mentally so shouldn't let it bother me as it doesn't really affect me but I'm such a perfectionist and expect everyone else to be the same lol Aww I bet your little girl looks so cute walking around on her own now and what a fab birthday present for you! You're doing really well when you think what you've been through hun. How is school going - do you finish for the summer this week? I'm off in a couple of weeks for a week as I want to watch the Olympics . Hope Mazzar is enjoying her holiday and sorry that you were disappointed with your tma result Bunnylove Take care and love you lots, Carole xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Posted on July 16, 2012 at 9:57 PM
re: Izzy Mazzar well dome for getting all your washing and ironing done - can you do mine now lol. Glad you managed to get away - it sounds like you are getting around a bit more now? Izzy, I am doing ok but suffering a lot from anxiety so doctor prescribed me beta blockers - not to take all the time, they are the lowest dose and I just take one when feeling particularly bad so once or twice a week. Think I may have already told you that in previous post - repetitive message syndrome! Yes have treated myself lots the last couple of weeks - kindle, new cath kidston kindle case, new phone case and am waiting for new elemis things to arrive - cannot wait! Oh and bought 2 new nail polishes - one is a very pale lilac glitter one which is a mare to remove but love it and a pastel green one! Sorry about your garden being ruined. I have no plants in mine yet as naughty little dog likes eating leaves! Bunnylove - glad you got your assignment in and hope you get away soon so you can spend quality time with your daughter Lots of love Carole xx Posted on July 02, 2012 at 6:48 PM
re: Izzy Hi Izzy, it's really good to have you back! My eating is going really well and I am managing to stay in healthy weight bracket. With what happened over the last few months it would have been really easy for me to slip back but I need to focus on trying to stay healthy and well and to do that I have to eat even if I don't always feel like it - and sometimes i still have feelings of guilt but manage to overcome them somehow with stressing about the other stuff. Was crying and screaming with stress in car yesterday - took me 4 hours to do 10 minute journey from work in the storm - so scared and ended up abandoning car as the main road to where I live was completely under water. I was so worried about my little dog as was convinced she was going to have drowned and she obviously wouldn't know why I was taking so long to get home. Met two really nice people who I've never seen before and they were leaving their cars and walking my way so I went with them and then the mans wife manged to get through and she gave me a lift otherwise it would have taken me even longer. Am still stressed today seeing how bad some people have had it with their houses 4 foot under water Work is good - really busy which is how I like it. I do suffer a lot from anxiety at the moment because of what happened and doctor gave me medication just to take when I start to feel as though a bad attack is coming on. Sorry your struggling to show you've put weight on - its hard isn't it when you try so hard but people think you're not? Can't believe the little one is nearly 10 months already hehe - it doesn't seem 5 mins ago. Glad you've managed to get back to work - people will be curious but you will be helping them and educating them by talking about it Love you lots, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Posted on June 29, 2012 at 2:18 PM
re: Izzy Hi Mazzar - My Kitchen is in cream and white and I love it! Got a blackboard framed in a heart with matching clock and photo frame with the 'Live, Love, Laugh' theme. Sorry you're not feeling good hun, this weather is awful isn't it, its been like one long winter. Bunnylove, keep going with the dancing, everyone is at different levels no matter what they do - it would be boring if we were all the same! Good luck with your TMA! Come on England! lots of love, Carole xxxxxxxx Posted on June 15, 2012 at 9:27 PM
re: really struggling It is really hard - one of the hardest things you'll ever do trying to beat it but you can and you will if you want to. i drove my best friend away - he was so supportive but in the end he just couldn't cope with what i was doing to myself and couldn't understand why I would knowingly harm myself (even though its not that simple). Your friends will have tried to support you but for an outsider it looks like you are asking for help and then ignoring it which is why you need professional help. Have you got anyone close you can confide in - I had a couple of really good friends in work who helped me through and still do. i love my sport and am really competitive and it hurt so much when i could hardly make it to the end of the street. You have to try and focus on your health and keep remembering that you won't be able to compete to your best if you don't eat properly. Turn your competitiveness into beating this but don't try and do it on your own - ask for help take care and keep in touch x Posted on June 15, 2012 at 9:18 PM
re: Am I getting better or is this reality Hi Kitty - I hope your assessment went well? I felt like you feel now a lot of the time but I've managed to stay in recovery for the past 6 months which is hard fighting against what your head is telling you. Hopefully you will get the treatment and help that you need and you have to try and go with it and not fight it as they will be doing what is right for you even though you will think that they are not. The voice in your head telling you not to eat is not a good friend - let your mum and others help you and these boards are really good as well when you want to offload. Hope you're ok, Carole xx Posted on June 15, 2012 at 12:03 PM
re: Izzy Hello everyone - sorry I've not been on for ages, I've been really busy with work over the last month or so. Hope everyone is ok, Mazzar, sorry you've been struggling - how are things now? Have you managed to buy anything? I was really good last month and then it all went to pot this month haha. I had my kitchen pained a couple of weeks ago and so spent the holiday weekend buying nice new things to go in it! Did you watch the Queens jubilee celebrations? I hope Izzy and the baby are ok and that she;s not been on because she's so busy. hope the christening went ok as well. take care and I'll try and come on more often now! lots of love, Carole xxxxx Posted on June 15, 2012 at 11:51 AM
re: really struggling Hello, sorry you're struggling. I like my sport as well, running and swimming. I've had an ED for 29 years but only got diagnosed with Anorexia 5 years ago and have been in recovery since December last year and am now a healthy weight. I finally realised that in order to be able to do the sports i love, I need to give my body the energy to be able to them. I'm not saying its easy, i have good days and bad days but the good outweigh the bad now and when I start to have a downer on myself I distract myself by reading, taking my dog out, doing housework - anything to stop me focusing on negativity. I know that you say you don't have an eating disorder, but it does sound like you have one to me (even though I'm obviously not a doctor). ED's don't have to be anorexia or bulimia - if you're uncomfortable around food and you're unhappy with yourself and how you look then these are classic signs. Its good that you've asked for help and when you have days where you don't want to eat properly, remember how much you love your sport - your body will not function without fuel (just like a car) - i know you know that and believe me i know how hard it is and its even harder when you've struggled for years like we have as the negative behaviours become even more embedded and difficult to change. Hopefully, this will be the start for you to try and get better Hope this helps a bit Carole Posted on June 15, 2012 at 11:46 AM
re: Izzy Hello how is everyone doing?! The sun is actually out today so I'm psyching myself up to cut the grass - not looking forward to it as its really long and wet. Went out this morning which I really enjoyed as lovely weather and everyone smiling. Hope you all ok, lots of of love, Carolexxxxxxxxxxxx Posted on May 06, 2012 at 11:25 AM
re: Izzy Bunnylove you're right about the psychodynamic therapy and that was the whole reason I was being assessed as to whether I was suitable as I wanted to address the past in order to understand my behaviours today. However, the therapist did warn me that it would be very stressful and given what I've been through I don't want to take on that additional stress for now - that's not to say I won't consider it in the future though. Well it's not stopped raining here all week and I'm not talking about the odd light shower - it's torrential! There's no danger of a hosepipe ban here! Mazzar your treats sound lovely and I'm sure you will look very glam in your dress! Glad you're feeling better and that you've had some sun where you are! Hope Izzy has had a good week too even though it's pouring down! Take care - lots of love, Carole xxxxxxxx Posted on April 21, 2012 at 2:20 PM
re: Izzy Izzy, Do you remember last year when i was being assessed to go for pychodynamic therapy and was put on 18 month waiting list? The therapist just wanted to see me last month to see how I was doing and after what has happened I told her that I didn't want to go forward with the psychodynamic as she had told me it can be really stressful. I told her that i need CBT to help me manage my anxiety and to cope in the here and now so she got in touch with my doctor as it would have to be a separate referral. I've received a form to fill in to go to an initial assessment to see which CBT i need. Bunnylove - I think that's a big step forward for you eating when you think you need it as opposed to being so rigid and not giving in until a set time - that's something that I now do and I make sure I eat things that I know will give me nourishment and energy. i'm really enjoying cooking things from a new cookery book which is really good food and introducing me to lots of new flavours - I actually find myslef looking forward to thinking about what I'm going to prepare and eat now as opposed to dreading every meal time - hope it lasts! Mazzar - hope you enjoy the shopping trip and hope its not too cold where you are though its freezing here - we've had sun, snow, hail and rain all packed into today already! Hope you're feeling better My little dog is sulking at the minue as she wants her food and its not time yet so she'll have to wait - she keeps jumping on my knee and licking me lots thinking i will give in hehe. I went to a big market yesterday with a young friend and I was really good and didn't buy anything though she bought 6 dolls! Hope you've all had a good weekend, take care, lots of love, Carole xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Posted on April 15, 2012 at 3:45 PM

Viewing 1 to 20 (49 Total)

re: Izzy and Mazzar

Mazzar, sorry for the delay. Not been too good at all. My dad died suddenly at the end of Jan and I've been finding it really difficult. ED behaviours are starting to creep back in but am managing to hold them off at the moment with the help of a good friend. Hope you are keeping ok - this weather is awful, am so sick of being cold all the time! Hope Izzy is ok, have you heard from her at all?

Take care, Carole xxx

Posted on March 22, 2013 at 12:32 PM

re: Exercise addiction and EDs

I'm similar to you with the exercise. I classed myself in 'recovery' from Ana last year even though I too feel i would panic if I couldn't exercise. The last couple of months have even really bad for me after my dad died suddenly. I've been training for road races - I've always loved running and my mileage has increased which means that I need to also increase my food intake which I'm starting to find hard -
One of the lads in work is a keen cyclist and I told him about my ED and he has even giving my advice. I know that myself I also need a rational voice to actually tell me. If I miss days though I hate it, even though I know recovery days are important ..

Like you I don't socialise and always come up with an excuse because I hate the way I look and have really low confidence and currently always feel like I'm moaning and bursting in to tears because of dad dying so don't want to make people around me as miserable as I am.

Just make sure that you are eating enough - I've been fighting this for many years now.

Take care xx

Posted on March 22, 2013 at 12:27 PM

re: scared of christmas

Hello. Sorry you didn't get a response re your post - this is my first time back on the boards for months. Hope you managed to cope over Christmas? Carole

Posted on January 02, 2013 at 4:41 PM

Izzy and Mazzar

Hello!! Sorry I haven't been on for months but have been really busy with work. Have thought about you both but just didn't get round to coming on here. Not sure whether Izzy still comes on and really hope it's just because she's busy and happy with the baby, organising a wedding and going to work. Mazzar, hope you are better and the girls are being good! I'm still at a healthy weight and BMI and eating normally, though I do still have my exercise.

Hope you had a lovely Christmas - I went and stayed at my sisters. My little nephew is so cute now and a right little character shouting auntie Carole hehe and loves my little dog. I spent all my Christmas money on boxing day - bought a lovely new bag and purse and am meeting my friend on Friday in town for a bit of a shop. Have you bought anything nice?

Lots of love and hugs to you both,

Carole xxxxxxxx

Posted on January 02, 2013 at 4:39 PM

Can't Sleep

Hello, one of the side effects of an ED and everything that goes with it is lack of sleep. It's hard to stop your mind working overtime at night but something that I find helps is to close my eyes and just focus on my breathing - not trying to slow it down or anything, just as it is but when I do it properly it stops my mind wandering and I fall asleep. It does take practise and doesn't always work but because I know it does work when I do it properly it's my backup xx

Posted on January 02, 2013 at 4:31 PM

re: old member no where to turn

Hi Em!

I remember you - I haven't been on the boards for ages. Sorry to hear that you're still struggling but you are stronger than you think, and will get through - you are doing the right thing by getting help but you need help with your ED too. Do you remember when we used to have the tunnel where we could make rooms how we wanted them and it was always sunny, and the gardens were always lush. It used to make me feel so much better when I knew I could go there an chat to friends in the same place - a safe place is what you need

Lots of love, Carole xxx

Posted on January 02, 2013 at 4:26 PM

re: Eating disorder

Hi Carly

This is my firstvisit to the boards for months - fortunately I've been in recovery now for 12 months though it's been hard. I'm in my 40's so the behaviours have been embedded along time. I eat normally now and am a healthy weight but do still exercise.

How did you cope over Christmas - I found it easier this year but still a stressful time. Hope you're ok and apply to chat if you want to x

Posted on January 02, 2013 at 4:20 PM

re: Izzy

hi Izzy!!! So sorry I haven't been on - hadn't realised you had responded originally either! How are you getting on and how's the little one? Think I'm going to get a move within the team but still not sure when so getting a bit impatient now lol. Had time off to watch the Olympics and absolutely loved every minute of it! Have also spent loads on skin care and make up recently and need to reign myself in but finding that hard hehe. Are you back at school this week? My friend is who's a teacher and she is dreading it as having a really bad time with the head.

Hope Mazzar has had a good holiday and is feeling better too x

Lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted on September 02, 2012 at 1:35 PM

re: Izzy

Sorry about your friend Izzy. That's a tough one, I wouldn't like to be in your position as even sitting around people who are on constant diets stresses me out as I have the competitive streak as well like you. It's really hard some days not to slip back. If your friend tries to talk to you about it I would tell her to go and get professional help and maybe tell her that you will find it hard to support her on a one to one level as you're fighting to stay in recovery yourself? I can't even watch supersize Superskinny anymore for fear of it triggering me.

I went and had a word with my boss who is not my immediate boss anymore - throne who I used to work direct to. He knows me inside out and how things affect me - he's having a re-organisation within the team in a few weeks so I've asked him if I can move away from my current line manager. She is a really nice person and so supportive on a personal level but.... We'll see where I end up - maybe making things worse for myself as I really enjoy the job I'm doing. I was told last week that I'm getting a Â£50 voucher for going over and above what was expected of me on a recent pice of work I've been doing so that was a nice surprise and I Lready have it spent in my head lol. Going to get some more beauty products.

Anyway, don't beat yourself up too much about the,purging. I keep having little binges with multipacks so not too impressed with myself either. Are you stillseeing the therapist?

Take care, lots of love Carole xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted on July 22, 2012 at 9:52 PM

Izzy

Hi Izzy, Happy Birthday for last week!! . Try not to beat yourself up about purging, we all have our lapses and recovery is never going to be easy. I could quite easily slip up some times but up to now have been strong enough to fight against it. I ave to check all my lymph every week and get myself so worked up about it each time i physically shake! However, I have even treating myself with lots and I mean lots of nice cleansers, moisturisers, nail polishes, make up lol. Glad you managed to fight off your panic attack as well as I ate them too. I'm finding it quite difficult in work at the minute because of my lie manager. She is a lovely person and is not horrible and will do anything for anyone and is really supportive but she is just not very dynamic and it's starting to really wind me up - I shouldn't let it and i keep trying to tell myself that I've been through a lot and still am mentally so shouldn't let it bother me as it doesn't really affect me but I'm such a perfectionist and expect everyone else to be the same lol

Aww I bet your little girl looks so cute walking around on her own now and what a fab birthday present for you! You're doing really well when you think what you've been through hun. How is school going - do you finish for the summer this week? I'm off in a couple of weeks for a week as I want to watch the Olympics . Hope Mazzar is enjoying her holiday and sorry that you were disappointed with your tma result Bunnylove

Take care and love you lots, Carole xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted on July 16, 2012 at 9:57 PM

re: Izzy

Mazzar well dome for getting all your washing and ironing done - can you do mine now lol. Glad you managed to get away - it sounds like you are getting around a bit more now?

Izzy, I am doing ok but suffering a lot from anxiety so doctor prescribed me beta blockers - not to take all the time, they are the lowest dose and I just take one when feeling particularly bad so once or twice a week. Think I may have already told you that in previous post - repetitive message syndrome! Yes have treated myself lots the last couple of weeks - kindle, new cath kidston kindle case, new phone case and am waiting for new elemis things to arrive - cannot wait! Oh and bought 2 new nail polishes - one is a very pale lilac glitter one which is a mare to remove but love it and a pastel green one! Sorry about your garden being ruined. I have no plants in mine yet as naughty little dog likes eating leaves!

Bunnylove - glad you got your assignment in and hope you get away soon so you can spend quality time with your daughter

Lots of love Carole xx

Posted on July 02, 2012 at 6:48 PM

re: Izzy

Hi Izzy, it's really good to have you back! My eating is going really well and I am managing to stay in healthy weight bracket. With what happened over the last few months it would have been really easy for me to slip back but I need to focus on trying to stay healthy and well and to do that I have to eat even if I don't always feel like it - and sometimes i still have feelings of guilt but manage to overcome them somehow with stressing about the other stuff. Was crying and screaming with stress in car yesterday - took me 4 hours to do 10 minute journey from work in the storm - so scared and ended up abandoning car as the main road to where I live was completely under water. I was so worried about my little dog as was convinced she was going to have drowned and she obviously wouldn't know why I was taking so long to get home. Met two really nice people who I've never seen before and they were leaving their cars and walking my way so I went with them and then the mans wife manged to get through and she gave me a lift otherwise it would have taken me even longer. Am still stressed today seeing how bad some people have had it with their houses 4 foot under water

Work is good - really busy which is how I like it. I do suffer a lot from anxiety at the moment because of what happened and doctor gave me medication just to take when I start to feel as though a bad attack is coming on.

Sorry your struggling to show you've put weight on - its hard isn't it when you try so hard but people think you're not? Can't believe the little one is nearly 10 months already hehe - it doesn't seem 5 mins ago. Glad you've managed to get back to work - people will be curious but you will be helping them and educating them by talking about it

Love you lots, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted on June 29, 2012 at 2:18 PM

re: Izzy

Hi Mazzar - My Kitchen is in cream and white and I love it! Got a blackboard framed in a heart with matching clock and photo frame with the 'Live, Love, Laugh' theme. Sorry you're not feeling good hun, this weather is awful isn't it, its been like one long winter.

Bunnylove, keep going with the dancing, everyone is at different levels no matter what they do - it would be boring if we were all the same! Good luck with your TMA!

Come on England!

lots of love, Carole xxxxxxxx

Posted on June 15, 2012 at 9:27 PM

re: really struggling

It is really hard - one of the hardest things you'll ever do trying to beat it but you can and you will if you want to. i drove my best friend away - he was so supportive but in the end he just couldn't cope with what i was doing to myself and couldn't understand why I would knowingly harm myself (even though its not that simple). Your friends will have tried to support you but for an outsider it looks like you are asking for help and then ignoring it which is why you need professional help. Have you got anyone close you can confide in - I had a couple of really good friends in work who helped me through and still do.

i love my sport and am really competitive and it hurt so much when i could hardly make it to the end of the street. You have to try and focus on your health and keep remembering that you won't be able to compete to your best if you don't eat properly. Turn your competitiveness into beating this but don't try and do it on your own - ask for help

take care and keep in touch x

Posted on June 15, 2012 at 9:18 PM

re: Am I getting better or is this reality

Hi Kitty - I hope your assessment went well? I felt like you feel now a lot of the time but I've managed to stay in recovery for the past 6 months which is hard fighting against what your head is telling you. Hopefully you will get the treatment and help that you need and you have to try and go with it and not fight it as they will be doing what is right for you even though you will think that they are not. The voice in your head telling you not to eat is not a good friend - let your mum and others help you and these boards are really good as well when you want to offload.

Hope you're ok, Carole xx

Posted on June 15, 2012 at 12:03 PM

re: Izzy

Hello everyone - sorry I've not been on for ages, I've been really busy with work over the last month or so. Hope everyone is ok, Mazzar, sorry you've been struggling - how are things now? Have you managed to buy anything? I was really good last month and then it all went to pot this month haha. I had my kitchen pained a couple of weeks ago and so spent the holiday weekend buying nice new things to go in it!

Did you watch the Queens jubilee celebrations?

I hope Izzy and the baby are ok and that she;s not been on because she's so busy. hope the christening went ok as well.

take care and I'll try and come on more often now!

lots of love, Carole xxxxx

Posted on June 15, 2012 at 11:51 AM

re: really struggling

Hello, sorry you're struggling. I like my sport as well, running and swimming. I've had an ED for 29 years but only got diagnosed with Anorexia 5 years ago and have been in recovery since December last year and am now a healthy weight. I finally realised that in order to be able to do the sports i love, I need to give my body the energy to be able to them. I'm not saying its easy, i have good days and bad days but the good outweigh the bad now and when I start to have a downer on myself I distract myself by reading, taking my dog out, doing housework - anything to stop me focusing on negativity.

I know that you say you don't have an eating disorder, but it does sound like you have one to me (even though I'm obviously not a doctor). ED's don't have to be anorexia or bulimia - if you're uncomfortable around food and you're unhappy with yourself and how you look then these are classic signs. Its good that you've asked for help and when you have days where you don't want to eat properly, remember how much you love your sport - your body will not function without fuel (just like a car) - i know you know that and believe me i know how hard it is and its even harder when you've struggled for years like we have as the negative behaviours become even more embedded and difficult to change. Hopefully, this will be the start for you to try and get better

Hope this helps a bit

Carole

Posted on June 15, 2012 at 11:46 AM

re: Izzy

Hello how is everyone doing?! The sun is actually out today so I'm psyching myself up to cut the grass - not looking forward to it as its really long and wet. Went out this morning which I really enjoyed as lovely weather and everyone smiling.

Hope you all ok, lots of of love, Carolexxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted on May 06, 2012 at 11:25 AM

re: Izzy

Bunnylove you're right about the psychodynamic therapy and that was the whole reason I was being assessed as to whether I was suitable as I wanted to address the past in order to understand my behaviours today. However, the therapist did warn me that it would be very stressful and given what I've been through I don't want to take on that additional stress for now - that's not to say I won't consider it in the future though.

Well it's not stopped raining here all week and I'm not talking about the odd light shower - it's torrential! There's no danger of a hosepipe ban here!

Mazzar your treats sound lovely and I'm sure you will look very glam in your dress! Glad you're feeling better and that you've had some sun where you are!

Hope Izzy has had a good week too even though it's pouring down!

Take care - lots of love, Carole xxxxxxxx

Posted on April 21, 2012 at 2:20 PM

re: Izzy

Izzy, Do you remember last year when i was being assessed to go for pychodynamic therapy and was put on 18 month waiting list? The therapist just wanted to see me last month to see how I was doing and after what has happened I told her that I didn't want to go forward with the psychodynamic as she had told me it can be really stressful. I told her that i need CBT to help me manage my anxiety and to cope in the here and now so she got in touch with my doctor as it would have to be a separate referral. I've received a form to fill in to go to an initial assessment to see which CBT i need.

Bunnylove - I think that's a big step forward for you eating when you think you need it as opposed to being so rigid and not giving in until a set time - that's something that I now do and I make sure I eat things that I know will give me nourishment and energy. i'm really enjoying cooking things from a new cookery book which is really good food and introducing me to lots of new flavours - I actually find myslef looking forward to thinking about what I'm going to prepare and eat now as opposed to dreading every meal time - hope it lasts!

Mazzar - hope you enjoy the shopping trip and hope its not too cold where you are though its freezing here - we've had sun, snow, hail and rain all packed into today already! Hope you're feeling better

My little dog is sulking at the minue as she wants her food and its not time yet so she'll have to wait - she keeps jumping on my knee and licking me lots thinking i will give in hehe. I went to a big market yesterday with a young friend and I was really good and didn't buy anything though she bought 6 dolls!

Hope you've all had a good weekend, take care, lots of love, Carole xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted on April 15, 2012 at 3:45 PM

« Previous123Next »

Your Basket (0 items)

Helpline
0845
634 1414
Youthline
0845
634 7650

Ways to help

Donate:

> View other ways to donate

Message boardWant to talk to other people affected by an eating disorder?

carole

Posts

re: Izzy and Mazzar

re: Exercise addiction and EDs

re: scared of christmas

Izzy and Mazzar

Can't Sleep

re: old member no where to turn

re: Eating disorder

re: Izzy

re: Izzy

Izzy

re: Izzy

re: Izzy

re: Izzy

re: really struggling

re: Am I getting better or is this reality

re: Izzy

re: really struggling

re: Izzy

re: Izzy

re: Izzy

Donate:

Struggling

binge eating

Feeling anxioues and scared

Get help

Support us

About Beat

mybeat

	Struggling Posted by dottydonkeydude
	binge eating Posted by bluepaper
	Feeling anxioues and scared Posted by prettyfirefly