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Hey everyone,
CS- I completely agree with your last post. The NHS is such a lottery when it comes to ED treatments- luckily I seemed to win this lottery, my outpatient care was fantastic, I never had to be admitted as an inpatient and the wait for my first appointment with a therapist was only 2 months. And my appointment was at a mental health outpatient unit which specialised in teenagers with EDs- which is what I was! Unfortunately this doesn't seem to be the case for many people, as soon as I moved to uni, a combination of a changed postcode and the fact that I was over 18 would have meant that I'd have to be far more ill if I was to receive proper help, beyond a GP. Luckily I never needed that at university.
I've had some news today at the doctors, I went because of my cold hands and toes, and he thinks it might be Raynauds. I'm having to have a blood test (which I HATE!) in a few weeks' time to rule out anything more serious, but I'm still quite shocked to be honest. I was assuming he'd just tell me to man up and put some more layers on! But he says there's tablets I can take, etc.
I don't really want to take tablets if I can help myself in other ways, to I spoke to my mum about it, who was just about to go to an Osteopath appointment. She talked about it with her osteopath and he reckons a different stance on it could be to do with the stress I've been under these past few months, with the job hunt, moving house, graduating, etc. In order to protect myself, my body centres its energy on my centre, ie, my organs, and kind of ignores my extremities. He recommended yoga as a good way to help 'rebalance my energy'.
I'm not sure what I think of it but I'm willing to give it a go. Some people might say it's all a bit airy fairy and a cold hard drug would do me better but I'm inclined to think of it like, if I can help myself and solve the problem, the symptoms will go away. Kind of like eating disorders. If you solve the underlying issues of control, low self esteem, other life problems etc, then you have a better chance of recovery than if you're just forced to eat more.
Sorry for the kind of irrelevant ramblings!
CS- hope your virus is gone by now, and that you're coping with the upsetting news. Don't let it tempt you from the path towards recovery!
C- well done you for climbing back on the wagon again! Falling off it is just part and parcel of recovery, but climbing back on it takes dedication and you'll learn from it each time. Admitting that you have a problem is a massive step, and I think it'll help in your fight with this horrible ED. You DO deserve help, and you DO deserve food. Keep chatting to your husband, having people you can openly talk to about it can be a massive help. He loves you for who you are, and can say just the right thing to keep you fighting.
Lots of love,
Jess xxx
Posted on October 02, 2012 at 5:06 PM
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Hello ladies!
I was about to post on here to give you all an update, and you guys are doing the same which is lovely!
I've had a crazy few weeks, which has ultimately ended up with me getting a graduate job! Hurrah! I'm on a grad scheme for 2 years, it's such a massive relief. No more stresses in life for a couple of years. I think I finally had an adrenaline crash a couple of days after I found out I got the job so I've been ill with a bad cold for the past week. Getting back on my feet now though
I had a huge shock the other day when I had to fill in a 'fitness to work' assessment for my new job. It was an online survey and asked questions about things like diabetes, heart attacks, respiratory problems, etc etc- I assumed it'd ask about mental health problems too. However, when I got to the question, it was worded so badly! 'do you suffer, or have you ever suffered from, one or more of the following: schizophrenia, bipolar, OCD, psychosis or any other mental disorder?'. I spoke to a few people about whether to answer 'yes' or 'no'. There was no space to write any other details. Did I want to tell the truth? Yes. Did I want to be grouped with people who are still suffering from the above illnesses? No- I wondered if it'd affect my chances of them employing me. Luckily there was a helpline number to call, so I called them, and you'll never guess what the lady on the phone said:
'I'm just going to check with our occupational health nurse, because I'm wondering whether anorexia is classed as a mental disorder'.
WOW.
I was horrified! These people are paid to help those filling in fitness to work assessments, and she didn't think anorexia was a mental disorder.
I got a phonecall back a few minutes later to say I could put 'yes' and explain my answer if I wanted- that I've had anorexia, but it was a few years ago now (it seems like forever ago!), and I'm (mainly) over it and recovered. Thank the lord the occupational health nurse understood and congratulated me on my recovery!
I can't believe the ignorance of some people. I mean really.. :/
Anyways, I'm sat here with my fingers and toes freezing off, getting used to the slightly colder weather and thinking about getting my slipper socks back out the drawer ready for the winter. I might be eating properly but those long term consequences are still causing me misery... i wonder if i'd known back then, if i was still going to have such bad circulation in my fingers and toes 5 years on, whether I might have got better quicker. Who knows.
Sorry for the ranting! Hope everyone's ok.
Sian- food education is definitely a good idea. Knowing what foods have in them, not in terms of calories but in terms of nutrition, vitamins, protein etc etc, is a really good idea. But make sure you get your information from a responsible source like a dietician or GP. Great idea to speak to your GP to see what advice they can give you. You should speak to him about the ADs too. I'm no expert on ADs but maybe there's different types you can try, or stronger ones, or CBT? I'm sure there's lots of different options that are well worth a try.
C- I know, the little things can be the ones that change things the most, can't they? It's a trickt one with the weight business- I always knew my weight at every weekly weigh-in (in fact my eating got worse when i didn't know it), but i accept that finding out your weight can be a massive trigger. Remember, weight is only a number, it's how you feel inside yourself that matters, and it's who you are as a person that matters to everyone else. Definitely harder to believe than it is to say it though, I realise that. Just remember too, that you've been able to get yourself to a good place before, which means you can do it again. Count this as a blip, however long a blip it's been, and focus on what you want to achieve.
lots of love,
Jess xxx
Posted on September 18, 2012 at 1:25 PM
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Hey all,
CS- society's a bit of a shambles isn't it?! there's certainly not one quick fix solution, education and awareness over time is the key, i think, to loving ourselves for who we are, inside and out.
The scales are a strange one- i'd been fine without them for a couple of years but when I moved in with my boyfriend they kind of just came with all the other furniture- i'd given them to my boyfriend to keep so that I didn't have them at my house all the time.
Sian- i totally agree that the media have a massive part to play, and that legislation should encourage the use of 'real' women, with real, non-airbrushed curves.
I'm about to go to the doctors for a 'review'. I just registered at the new docs since moving home and apparently my family's medical history leaves something to be desired! Recently i've become more and more worried that the effects of my eating disorder might span into my adult life and that i might not be able to have kids. It's still something that plays on my mind a lot. Even though we're not trying for kids yet! Hoping to get some reassurance from the doctor.
Hope everyone is doing well well done Sian for your binge-free month. Sending you positive vibes so that it might be another binge free month this time round
Jess xxx
Posted on August 07, 2012 at 9:01 AM
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Morning everyone,
Golly, there's 6 pages of discussion on this thread!
Hope everyone's doing ok.
CS- your post really interested me yesterday. When I was in the depths of anorexia, I was only 15- which meant the usual negotiations with my parents in terms of not being a child any more and growing up, gaining independence etc, at the same time as battling an eating disorder. This meant that, whilst it was still tough, it was easier for me to become more child-like in my actions. For example, for a good few months my entire food intake (well, as much as possible) was put into the control of my mum. Much like when I was a child. She made my packed lunches, she sat with me at breakfast and dinner, and she made sure I had the snacks negotiated with my dietician and therapist.
Obviously you're in a different situation, but, in a different sense, I do agree that treating food as a new thing you're learning about, much like a child, and rewarding yourself for positive behaviour, is a really good idea. Maybe try and not let the rewards be food-related.
C- i'm sorry that your consultant is leaving in the autumn. About 3 months into my therapy, when i still was desperately in need of help and lived each week for those hour appointments, my therapist suddenly left. After about a month not having any therapy, when things went downhill, I finally started seeing a new lady. It was a tricky time, because I felt like I'd told the first therapist things that i'd never tell anyone else, I'd built up that trust with her, and suddenly I was having to open up to a stranger. However, by the end of my treatment I valued the new therapist's advice and support as much as the first therapist's. So keep strong, it is possible for recovery to happen, whatever stumbling blocks you come across!
Sian- Massive congrats on your binge-free days. What an achievement. I'm glad you're being pro-active with getting the anti-depressants working better, well done. I can imagine it can spiral, like you said, with tiredness leading to no motivation, but stay strong and stay pro-active.
As for me- my little sis is still as frustrating as usual! From her dad's point of view, it's a tricky one- most of the time she eats like a 'normal' teenage girl, or she just can't seem to accept that who you are on the inside is more important than what you look like on the outside.
Not sure if I've mentioned this, but my boyfriend and I were talking about how the social media culture really doesn't help this. There's a new wave of 14-15-16-17 year olds who constantly post photos of themselves, get hundreds of 'likes', post 'comment on this status for me to tell you what i like about you'- etc etc. I feel this suggests these teenagers crave other people telling them that they look good and why they're good people. Constantly. I think it's very unhealthy and can't help with illnesses such as eating disorders, as well as general insecurities about teenagers' bodies. My boyfriend and I agreed that there's not much that can be done about it, there's no quick fix; instead, society needs to teach children from a young age that thin doesn't equal happy, and that being a good person is infinitely more important than having a good body.
Rant over! The scales haven't disappeared, I'm afraid.. However, I'm eating like a horse so I don't see it as a problem. Yet.
Jess xxx
Posted on July 31, 2012 at 8:49 AM
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Hey all,
Sian and C- glad to hear things are going so well. You both have so much motivation through the good times and bad, and that should inspire all ED sufferers. It's so brave of you both.
Sian, about the dietician- it depends on how good the dietician is I think! As a stubborn 15 year old I was sat in front of a lady and was told by her to make huge steps in the space of a few days. She seemed very impatient, and after each sessions my mum and I had to break what she said down into baby steps, so that we could get through the week before my next appointment.
Having said that, maybe I wasn't ready to learn about food types, I was still struggling and maybe not willing to listen, especially as she sounded so hypocritical. I think learning about food types is very valuable- I became a vegetarian, and was made by my worried mum ('you're not going to get enough protein!!') to look into how to get my vital vitamins and minerals etc. by other means. It was a massive eye opener and I learnt so much. I think learning about what foods contain, that some fat is good, etc etc, is a very good idea and could really help you.
C- a MASSIVE well done for doing so well and keeping on going even when you've got a nagging feeling in the back of your head. That's the ED- it'll get quieter in time, just keep fighting! Coming to terms with weight gain is a tricky thing to do, but knowing that everyone around you will still love you if you weigh a bit more is maybe a good way to think about it.
CS- think about why you're fighting. Friends, family, think of all the things in life that you'll be able to do when your energy isn't restricted by a lack of food. Maybe write your motivations down somewhere and keep them- stuck to your wall, in your purse, wherever, so you can check them if you're feeling down.
As for me, well, I'm settling in with my boyfriend and loving it. Got a telephone interview for a job this afternoon so nervous, I really want the job! Would take so much stress off my shoulders. Scales are still a bit of an issue.
Lots of love
Jess xxx
Posted on July 17, 2012 at 12:46 PM
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hey ladies
sorry again for lack of replies lately, have now moved in with my boyfriend! such an exciting time, love having our own space, feel so grown up! slightly worried that we've brought the scales with us- my boyfriend had been hiding them at his house so i couldn't use them but they're here now.
CS- whenever you push yourself you run the risk of it being too much- but if you don't try you'll never know how far you can push yourself. these experiences will mean that next time you try increasing your intake you'll be able to cope with it better and adjust what you're eating to how you're feeling so you don't end up feeling like you are at the moment.
You're being so brave fighting it in the first place, remember how far you've come and think about why you're fighting- use that as motivation to keep going
hope everyone else is doing well
lots of love
Jess xxx
Posted on June 29, 2012 at 8:15 AM
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HELLO my lovelies!
SO sorry to have abandoned you ladies for such a long time- my life has been pretty crazy what with organising moving in with my boyfriend (2 weeks!!), university final exams, job hunting, etc etc... got my final exam tomorrow, and i'm ready for it, so i'm finally getting round to doing all the things i've been meaning to do for weeks, like writing to you guys!
How are you all? Hope everyone's good and motivated and still fighting. Things are going well with my little sis- her dad had a session just him and the counsellor the other day and they agreed that she's using anorexia as a bit of a prop- something to fall back on when times get hard or when people are nasty to her ('you can't be nasty to me, i'm ill' kind of thing). Of course it's different for everyone but i'm glad they're thinking like that, I agree with them and now it's just a matter of putting in place other coping mechanisms for when things get tough. I'm glad we're no longer in the crucial stage- her diet seems to be back to 'normal' according to her dad, which is good.
I've found myself a part time shop job which is great and a big stress off my shoulders, as money's pretty tight! Will be nice to have an income and be in work, it was a massive confidence basher constantly getting job rejections.
Lots of love, keep strong everyone
Jess xxx
Posted on June 08, 2012 at 5:29 PM
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hey everyone,
had a hard couple of days, i decided to talk to my little sis' dad again even though he'd not replied to my last message. turns out he'd forgotten! it's good to be talking with him again, apparently some of her school friends have been phoning him to sho their concern for her eating. I was talking about this with my partner on the weekend, my little sis' experiences have been so different to mine. i'm glad i'm talking to her dad again, i've been able to suggest that he talks to her, so at least communication channels are open between the two of them again. she seems to be lying to him a bit but opening up as he continues to try and talk to her. Sian, i agree that it's a hard line between giving advice and telling him how to bring his daughter up! but i seem to be on the right side of that line, he always says how much he appreciates my advice so i guess that's good.
C- i completely agree with what sian says, you are definitely important and deserve the professionals' time. do let us know how things go. remember to put yourself first, you are the most important thing in your life, not work! i love your motto 'everything in life is happening perfectly', it's like that 'go poem- 'whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should'.
Here's a phrase for you all- it makes me cry every time i say it! my mum drilled it into me when i was recovering:
'Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. you are a child of the universe, no less that the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.'
Sian- keep fighting! everyone has their ups and downs, when you're in a dip think of the positive times, think of the binge-free days, and remember you did it on those days, it is possible! you definitely need to look after yourself, that's a good place to start. health is the most precious thing we have.
CS- hope you're feeling better today. we're all here for you
lots of love,
Jess xxx
ps. we found a house! hoping to move in with my boyfriend in a months' time. have told him in no uncertain terms that we definitely will NOT be having scales. house rule number one!
Posted on May 15, 2012 at 10:20 AM
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Hey everyone,
Sorry I haven't posted for ages. Been having a busy time with uni work and figuring out what i'm doing with my life post-uni! all getting a bit stressful, really hoping it'll all slot into place at the right time and i can move in with my boyfriend. going house hunting for the first time this weekend, very exciting! saw an old flame today though which has thrown me a bit but sure i'll be back on track in no time.
My little sis (L) is doing alright-ish but she still struggles with lunches. I emailed her dad about how she was doing and he didn't email back so i'm reluctant to give him more advice about checking she's making lunch- he might take it the wrong way ? it's a fine line. it's hard for him being a single dad i guess, he's got a lot on his shoulders. L is having boy troubles, at the ripe age of 14... still trying to tell her that she doesn't need a boy to be happy and content, she needs to rely on herself sometimes and be able to make herself happy without anyone else doing it for her... also birds and bees is coming in to play, tricky times.
hope you're all well - sian, i'm so so glad your fiance is being so supportive. well done you for your binge-free days, long may it continue!
c- well done for sticking to the meal plans and being so self-motivated. once you're over this you'll be so much stronger as a person than before (though i know it's been around for a long time)- you'll be able to tackle life whatever it throws at you! try to not let it get to you, well done for being prepared.
cs- hope there's light at the end of the tunnel during your tricky times. sending positive vibes your way.
jess xxx
Posted on May 09, 2012 at 2:36 PM
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hey everyone,
Sian- WELL DONE!!! sounds like you're right on track. keep going, these steps seem so helpful for you.
C- trying is the most important thing. Even if recovery isn't as speedy as you hope, you can always say you tried your best, and that's what matters.
Still having issues with my sis,
I'm going to get a second opinion on my numb toes, and maybe go private if i have to. I have a friend who's a medicine student and she's reassured me, apparently an acquaintance of hers kept getting numb toes when they exercised but it went away after a while, so that gives me some hope.
Hope everyone's day has been good
lots of love xxx
Posted on April 26, 2012 at 7:02 PM
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hey,
it does work. i never tried self help books when i suffered from anorexia but I got CBT as part of my therapy through the NHS. i went to weekly one hour sessions and within a year I was better.
have faith, get professional help if self help isn't working. massive well done for having the determination to use self-help books, it's a fab step but maybe you need a professional helping hand?
lots of love,
Jess xxx
Posted on April 26, 2012 at 6:55 PM
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Morning everyone,
Sorry for this rant!
I've had the most frustrating morning ever. I've known for a while that because I was underweight for about a year with my eating disorder, my circulation isn't really what it should be. Even though I've been a healthy for 5 years, my hands and toes get very cold all the time. But about a month ago I started noticing my toes were going numb. I was worried about it- I don't want my extremities going numb at the age of 21! So I phoned up the doctors' surgery yesterday and they said I'd have to wait a week for an appointment, but I could go to a stay and wait clinic this morning. So I got up really early, went to it, assuming I'd see a doctor... but a nurse sees my instead! She didn't have a clue what to do and suggested I saw a doctor. After waiting for another half hour I saw a doctor, and after some tests told me there's nothing they can do about it. I've just got to live with numb toes.
I wonder, 5 years ago, if I knew anorexia had such long term consequences, if I'd have fought that bit harder to get better quickly.
Keep fighting everyone, hope you all had good weekends.
xxx
Posted on April 25, 2012 at 11:14 AM
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hey everyone,
hope you all had a good weekend. i didn't get those internships but a new job's come up, gotta keep plodding on!
my little sis isn't doing so well at the moment, turns out it's a heck of a lot more common for a 14 year old to have an ED now than it was when I was 14. she's getting professional therapy which i hope is still helping. when she goes downhill it affects me too, i know it shouldn't but it is a bit triggering. managed fine today though, have been thinking to myself i need enough energy to a) do uni work and b) do the exercise this evening that I want to do with my friends. thinking logically about it, as if it's from an outsider's point of view, helps me to assess my thought processes and fight any negative thoughts. it's worked so far! the sparkle's still in my eye (and that's the most beautiful thing about any person in my opinion!)
sian- sounds like you're being really proactive about fighting the ED. one step at a time hunny, identifying trends in your eating patterns should be a massive help at putting up your guard when you know it's most likely to take over your thoughts.
C- you're so brave for opening up at the doctors. she seems to really get what you're going through. massive well done, hope you've had a good weekend.
CS- your email buddy sounds great, it really helps being able to open up and vent your frustration at someone, and do that for them in return! i have a couple of friends who i do that with, it's theraputic and when you help them it helps you to feel valued too.
lots of love everyone xxx
Posted on April 23, 2012 at 6:03 PM
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Sorry if this comes through twice, silly internet!
Hey all, sorry for not replying sooner!
Sian- WELL DONE YOU for telling your fiance, i think that's the best possible reaction you could have got. just shows bravery and courage really does pay off, now you have another person on your side fighting the ED with you. I agree with everyone, sorting your depression out might give you a really useful tool to help you fight the ED. for me it was all about finding different coping mechanism- my anorexia was a way of coping with stress and i needed to find a way to cope that wasn't so damaging. thank you for putting a different slant on my little sis' thought processes, i guess it's very good she's not secretive about it in general, it means communication between her and her dad has been good and that's helped them fight it together. her eating is stable at the moment according to her dad, which is great. don't want to draw too much attention towards it but i might send her a card or something (i've been sending her motivational phrases through the post to put on her 'victory wall' as she calls it in her bedroom!).
C- so glad you can use these posts as motivation, that's what we all want to hear! you CAN do this. you can fight it. did you manage to speak to your GP about dietician services? you're right, education about food and nutrition might help you to see food as fuel that you need to live and function. you're definitely not wasting their time, it's their job to help you and you have every right to be there. thanks for the advice about my little sis, it's exactly the angle that i'm coming from- she's beautiful inside and doesn't need an ED to be beautiful- have any of you seen the body gossip video 'this one is for you'? (am i allowed to put that on here?) we are beautiful and the ED is ugly. definitely agree that these forums are great to get different opinions on the same subject, it's made me think about it in a different way!
CS- i hope my little sis talking about it is a way of not letting it take control like you said. it's just that she's a bit of a drama queen in other parts of her life, very needy, needing everyone to love her etc., there's wider problems and maybe that's reflected in her ED. like i said above it's about making her realise that she's beautiful inside and that she'll be even more beautiful inside without the ED. thanks for your advice glad these forums are helping you. hope these boards can help you take steps towards recovery.
Sian and C- recovery IS possible. it's a rollercoaster, you'll have your ups and downs, but as CS said you didn't get an ED overnight so it won't just go away with a click of your fingers. stay determined, stay strong, you can do this. take each meal as it comes, reward yourselves for each step forward you take (maybe write them down? i'm a very visual person so maybe that's why i suggest it! helps me remember what i've done- write goals down and tick them off- even just 'eat breakfast' etc, make them realistic and achieveable? dont know, just a thought!)
i hear about whether i've got an internship today... very nervous! fingers crossed, would really help me knowing where i'll be in a few months' time and being able to plan. planning is my favourite activity ;) and actually i find is a good coping mechanism as i know what's coming in life.
lots of love! xxx
Posted on April 20, 2012 at 1:21 PM
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hey lydia,
i'm jess, i'm 21 and about to graduate from uni.
sorry to hear your first round of therapy didn't fully work. i think what you need to think about is, when your boyfriend's around do you eat three meals a day because of him? to avoid trouble/him asking questions etc? or do you do it for you?
what i found with my recovery from anorexia 5 years ago was that i had to do it for ME, and only me. not on behalf of anyone. have you thought about more therapy in the long term? you CAN get past this half way stage, i did!
what i did during recovery was to write all my motivations down on bits of paper and put them in a positivity box, along with things i liked about myself. when iw as having a bad day i looked at them and it reminded me why i was fighting, and brought me back to a logical mindset. might that help?
stay strong, keep fighting, you can do this!
i'm worried that moving in with my boyfriend this summer might involve a relapse. staying strong though and hoping i'll get through it. does your boyfriend know about your ED? if not that might be a big positive step in the right direction for him to know.
lots of love
xxx
Posted on April 18, 2012 at 8:49 PM
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heyy,
sian- MASSIVE well done!! like C says that strength should help you tonight to talk to your fiance about things. GOOD LUCK our thoughts are with you! planning for the bad days i think is important eg. with my idea of motivation notes in a box- be realistic but ambitious!
c- sorry to hear you're having a worse week. it's a long process, especially after all this time for you, but it CAN be done, it's not an overnight thing though! habits take time to break, physical and mental habits. don't get down with yourself about it, use that energy to push you forward not get you down. as my brother says to me when i get job rejections, turn that frown upside down! every day's a new day, you don't have to write this week off yet, just keep positive and think of your motivations and maybe your self confidence list will get longer as time goes on! start with your smile,
things with the little sis are going ok... can't help thinking she's saying things that i'd never have said when i was ill, like analysing what she's thinking and stuff. my illness was incredibly secret, even though i was still at school- some of my closest friends don't even know about it (though i spoke on bbc radio the other day about how i think banning underweight models in the uk is a good idea- highlight of my week! i felt so free, it wasn't a secret any more!) and i shut down an awful lot with my parents. gradually i opened up with the help of my therapist and got my friends on board, but this girl seems to be incredibly open about it, posting songs she's written about anorexia on social network sites, writing very obvious statuses, etc. not saying she doesn't have an eating disorder, but it's a fine line between helping her, and giving her so much attention that she feels that without the disorder no one will pay any attention towards her. i was like that towards the end of recovery, it was hard to finally let go cos it had been around for so long. so i'm only saying that about her cos it kinda happened to me too, just in a different way.
sorry for the ramble!
sending you positive vibes, both of you
jess xxx
Posted on April 18, 2012 at 8:30 PM
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Hey both,
C- don't worry about it! we all have our ups and downs, and as i've learnt with trying to get my little sis better, doing is a heck of a lot harder than saying. wanting to get better is a massive step, you're half way there! maybe write down a list of motivations to keep in your purse. when i went to uni i kind of knew i'd relapse, so i wrote down everything in life that makes me happy, that goes away when the ED's taking over. i put each thing on a different slip of paper and put them in a little gift box, then picked them out when i was feeling low. write down things in your life that you love, but also things about YOU as a person that you love. self love and self confidence are so important, we all need little reminders of the good things about ourselves every now and again! and i think when you've got an ED you need that more, whether it's from something you've written or something someone else says.
first task as prime minister= don't privatise NHS and pour money into mental health facilities! ;)
Sian- i agree with C, maybe having a good idea of what you want to get out of the conversation, what you want to say and being prepared for good and bad reactions will be useful. glad there's online support networks that are helping you. thinking of you, sending positivity vibes, you can do this!
i think most people compare themselves to those around them, but the immaterial stuff is what's important! the best things in life are free, like a hug from your fiance and a stroll in the park definitely a big step in knowing what you have to do, well done
hope today's been better for you ladies xxx
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:26 PM
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Sian,
Yeah, it seems mental illness takes a back seat in the NHS funding and effort, I feel they don't really seem to get it in most places. I see now how lucky I was to get therapy in an eating disorders unit specialising in adolescent cases within 2 months of first seeing my GP. But, you CAN beat the odds and do it anyway! As the cheesy pop song goes, I get knocked down, but I get up again. etc well done for being pro-active and looking on the internet for more help. you CAN do this!
Don't worry, you'll do it when the time is right. Do let us know how it goes. Maybe mention these boards and say there are other husbands out there (like C's) in the same situation- don't know if that would help, it's for you to judge. He's not alone in this either.
Yeah, it's so easy to compare what you have in life with those who have it better- realised I've been getting so hung up on getting a good job that I've forgotten how precious my boyfriend is- it's a matter of seeing what's actually valuable in life- eg. children, a loving partner, kind friends, family, happy environment etc, as opposed to the biggest house/flashiest car/most amazing career. Being able to be content with what you have is a very important life skill i reckon. not that I've mastered it just yet...
Hope you're having a good day
xxx
Posted on April 16, 2012 at 4:51 PM
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Happy Monday everyone
Sian- how did talking to your fiance go this weekend? Hope you had the strength to do so. It'll be worth it in the long run. So glad you've got your friend behind you too, every bit of support counts!
Silly NHS. I highly doubt they'd say that to you if you were physically injured, so why not if you're mentally injured? When my mum started telling family members about my anorexia when I was ill, she always told them to show the same level of support as they would if i had, say, a broken leg, if not more support. I was talking to a friend about this last night as she had an eating disorder when she was younger too, but never sought professional help (she's better now). You have to look at it not as a diet, or a lifestyle choice, but as something that is wrong and therefore needs solving. I know almost a dozen people in my life who have had anorexia or bulimia, some have got better, but there's a couple who have had so little support that everyone sees it as just a lifestyle choice for them- as if they're CHOOSING to not eat. The NHS seems to have given up on them. Which is why support from those around you is SO important, so you can tackle the problem together, and see it as a problem that needs actively solving.
Sorry if that doesn't make sense, bit of a ramble/string of random thoughts!
Hope you all had a good weekend feeling cheerier about job prospects today, me and my boyfriend decided on the weekend (after a few tears from me) that it doesn't matter how much i'm getting paid or where my job is, we'll live together even if it means we live off * (am i allowed to say that?) for a year ;) i guess it's a matter of getting priorities right in terms of making sure you're the happiest you can be, and that's really important in every bit of your life. Have realised that he's more important to me than a perfect career- we're still young, i've still got time to save the world and be prime minister before i retire ;)
meanwhile the girl i'm helping, my 'little sis', is growing up fast! she's 14 going on 18... her mum died when she little, can't help thinking that there's no way she'd be allowed out dressed like she dresses if she had a female frowning down upon her! tricky times, still trying to drum into her that beauty on the inside is more important than beauty on the outside, but it seems we're going to have to talk about unwanted attention/wrong type of attention if she carries on leaving nothing to the imagination in the way she dresses!
lots of love
Jess
xxx
Posted on April 16, 2012 at 10:17 AM
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Sian,
Well done for confiding in your friend. Support from people who love you is so so important. I hope she'll keep in touch and be there for you along the way. Well done for being strong!
And a massive well done for deciding to tell your other half. I think it'll make recovery a lot easier for you- I know it's going against what the ED is telling you but if you can be strong and tell him, he can help you. You're so brave.
C- the NHS can be pretty rubbish when it comes to postcodes. Who knows where I'd be if I'd have had to wait a year. I think my mum's hair would be a lot more grey ;) you DO deserve help, help would benefit you, overstretched services don't mean you need help any less. I think if I can get through these next few stressy months and settle down with my boyfriend it'll all be ok
With my friend- I've been trying to teach her that beauty comes from within, that she's beautiful inside and out. telling that to a 14 year old's not the easiest of tasks!
sending you all positive vibes over the weekend. stay strong, stay brave!
lots of love
Jess xxx
Posted on April 13, 2012 at 3:52 PM
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