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Ahh I am so sick of everything.
I feel so down right now and struggling with ED behaviours.
I have been bingeing without compesatory behaviours which is new for me.
I feel like leaving university but I could never answer the questions that come with it and I don't know what I would do if I did.
Everything is spinning but I can't think of a solution.
I am scared of professionals as I feel they do not understand me at all.
Hoping I can break the cycle...coming to my wits end.
Clem.
Posted on July 30, 2012 at 7:11 PM
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Hi, Beldo01,
Thanks for the reply and I really appreciate your insight.
I will try and get to the dentsit and let you know how it goes.
I might try and talk to my Dad about it so he can help with funds etc...although I think I am using that partly as an excuse not to go.
Hey Bernie,
How old are you if you don't mind me asking?
How is recovery going for you?
I am just not sure I have the strength to go through recovery, I guess part of me just hopes it will go away on it's own. I am managing to do a lot of things I wouldn't have ever imagined doing a year ago and I think maybe my ED will always be there...
I think the thing that also scared me last time I tried to recover is that I gained a lot of weight, which I didn't expect to happen and had even been told I wouldn't do. I guess I didn't really fully commit to recovery though and was still engaging in disordered behaviours so it is hard to tell.
It just seems so difficult.
Also because the majority of people think I am doing okay, or at least better than I am it is easier to keep with the disorder.
I guess if I could recover without weight gain it would be easier....but I am sure that is the same for a lot of people.
I also feel it is an outlet for my difficult thoughts and without it I wouldn't cope.
Thanks again.
Clem
Posted on April 19, 2012 at 1:11 PM
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Hey everyone,
Thank you so much for the replies.
It has definitely made me feel more confident about going to the dentist.
I hope I can pluck up the courage in the next few months (when I get some money) to go.
I didn't realise they could reverse damage already done.
I really don't want bad teeth that affect my appearance.
If anyone else wants to talk I am here.
Thanks again for the replies.
Clem.
Posted on April 18, 2012 at 8:22 PM
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Hi,
Sorry I post here very rarely but I was wondering if anyone had any advice.
I have had an eating disorder for around * years.
I have just started to notice some damage to my teeth.
I have one tooth in particular that is dark in colour and my gums often bleed, especially when I brush my teeth.
Part of me knows realistically this is due to purging .
I haven't been to the dentist for 5 years and I was wondering if I should go now? Would they be able to do anything or would it just be a waste of time, and money?
Also I am thinking about going to my GP again to ask for some help.
I have had help in the past, group therapy and a 1-2-1 therapist but I discharged myself from that.
I feel frightened to gain weight but I also wonder if I can continue with this 'lifestyle'.
I don't want to ask for help when I feel there any many people desperate to get it and I may just back away from it like I have in the past.
My life looks normal outwardly, so part of me thinks maybe I will just live with this disorder forever..I don't believe I can completely recover and I should just deal with it .
If any one has any thoughts or opinions on any of these things it would be greatly appreciated.
Clem.
Posted on April 06, 2012 at 10:43 PM
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Hey,
I have had an eating disorder for around 8 years now and I am 22, I also struggle with other mental health problems but I think they are worsened by the eating disorder.
I am not sure what to do with my life. I am at university but so far haven't successfully managed to make it through a year, I should be in my 3rd. It seems whenever I have a break from things and have no stress, commitments or triggers in my life I can improve things a bit.
Last year after a spell in hospital I took a break from university and started to get my life back on track. I started doing things I enjoyed again and was feeling positive about starting back at uni. Things weren't perfect with my ED but they were pretty close!
The uni year started off well and then just before Christmas it all seemed to go wrong. It felt like I completely relapsed almost overnight.
Now I am really struggling with everything. My course requires a lot of energy and concentration and self motivation, all things which I don't seem to have at the moment. I just don't know what to do, it seems being in university and the stress of it just causes things to get worse every time.
I am thinking of leaving completely but then what would I do?
I need somewhere to live and I would feel like a complete failure. I don't see how I could get a job to pay my rent if I can't even get to one lecture. (At the moment my student loan pays for it).
Going back to live with either of my parents isn't an option either.
I guess I just don't see how I am going to ever succeed in life and was wondering if anyone had any suggestions?
Sorry I am completely useless.
Thanks.
Clem.
Posted on January 13, 2012 at 10:57 AM
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I had problems too. Could not get into any of the chatrooms. B-eat I think there may have been a problem?
Clem.
Posted on January 04, 2012 at 11:15 PM
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Hi Toni,
Sorry to hear you've been struggling with Bulimia, it really is rubbish.
Have you spoken to anyone about it and are you getting any help at all?
If you don't mind me asking how old are you?
Here if you need.
Clemm. x
Posted on January 03, 2012 at 6:43 PM
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Hey.
All eating disorders are serious problems especially if they are affecting your wellbeing, life and health, not matter what weight you are. I have been in group therapy in the past and there were people of all shapes and sizes there. How would you feel about talking to your brother or friend that you live with?
Your GP should not judge you on your weight. Maybe it would help to write things down before going? How it is affecting your life, how it makes you feel?
Do you have a GP that you know and trust?
If not maybe you could call your surgery and ask for someone with an experience in mental health problems? In my experience most GPs are lovely and only the odd few who are useless.
I think making and pushing yourself to go to the appointment is the scariest thing and after that it becomes easier.
Here if you need to talk.
Take Care.
Clem. x
Posted on January 02, 2012 at 6:54 PM
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Hey.
What have you been diagnosed with? Maybe you can speak to the professionals about your diagnosis and how you feel it doesn't fit you?
I think a lot of people with eating disorders to actually enjoy food and they are also to do with more than just food. It is almost just a symptom rather than a cause.
How long have you been getting help? Unfortunately it usually isn't straight forward or simple and you just have to keep sticking with it.
I know what you mean about feeling lonely even though you have friends. I feel like because my eating disorder takes up most of my thoughts I find it hard to think about other things and socialise. Especially as socialising does often revolve around food or drink.
What year are you in at school?
Does your schol know what you are going through? It could help to have their support.
Here if you need.
Clem. x
Posted on January 02, 2012 at 6:48 PM
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Hey,
I have used b-eat for many years but have only just reregistered since the new website was launched.
Some may know me by the longer version of my username but it wasn't allowed under new rules.
I don't know if anyone will remember me but I can see a few familiar user names.
I am 22, studying music and have suffered from eating disorders for around 8 years.
I am currently having a relapse and I am really scared about my future.
If anyone needs someone to talk to I am here.
So hey.
Clem.
Posted on December 15, 2011 at 2:54 PM
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