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i find that my eating has become even more out of control lately and very similar to when this all first began. dunno if i can be bothered with it anymore just feel like giving up, i lost all faith in my therapy and infact everyone.
Posted on February 01, 2012 at 5:55 PM
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Hey, I haven't been on here for a long time even had to re-register so lost all my previous blogs. Anyway I'm looking for some advice. our office is being redeployed. I have strongly requested and grieved about going to a location where the rest of the office are not going as I see these people as a major trigger, one that I wish to eliminate altogether. I have had bulimia now for 8 years with the last 3 or 4 years getting worse by the year with very little help from doctors and psychiartrists. However I have finally started counselling with a psychotherapist which is not going too well, only get 50 minute appointments every fortnight and dread going there, dread leaving there and hate feeling the way I do, and constantly wonder why I am bothering at all. Though after several meetings with managers about my request to move locations away from staff they have said no, my counsellor said yesterday he thinks it could be appropriate for me to move away but is not willing to write a letter saying that he would support it. I just tried explaining how these people make me feel every single day and are a 1 of 4 major triggers to do with my bulimia but he just sat there as if I was being pathetic and felt as if inside he was just laughing at me. I just think if somebody at this level is unable to understand how somebody with this condition acts and feels then what hope is there for me to get better? Surely if a trigger can be erased and step towards a solution/recovery is possible then it should be supported? I have aswell been told that Bulimia falls under the Disability Discrimination Act which he knows nothing about, just wanted to express a little about what happened yesterday because I feel totally helpless as to my job, I find all the people I currently work with very energy zapping and battling, a battle I can do without, a battle I am not strong enough to fight, a battle that can be removed with people realising how much of a strain everyday life is. I just am at the end of me tether with everything and just want something positive in my life, something that can give me a meaning again and a much better working life would give me such a better way of communicating with people again. I don't speak to anyone apart from my team leader in work with the odd hello to a few walking past and have totally become unsociable really, my old fun laughable personality is nowhere to be found anymore which I want back but under current circumstances it just is not going to happen. Please if anyone has any help or advice or support I would be grateful anything to allow my mind to try and focus on something positive
Thank you x
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 6:53 PM
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