Member Since
August 09, 2011



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re: A new life, a happier me

I'm okay thanks honey. I was in recovery for about 6/7 months , but had a major relapse in January but I'm getting it back on track so fingers crossed I can put it behind me soon. Im back living at home because living by my uni was soooo expensive. Cor havent spoken to you for soooo long urm last year i lived with friends in a house, which was very stressful with my ed ad there was no way of hiding it and i feel bad for putting my friends through that but they were amazingly supportive . It did get intense and one point when someone (i think a housemate) range my parents and told them that i was purging a lot. I went to group therapy which did help but a week after it finished my nan, whom i was very close too passed away so it was a rocky time, but that was a year and a half ago now. I did a run for beat last summer when i was in recovery which felt soooo amazing , it was like a slap in the face for the ed.

Uni's tough at the moment lots of assignments and stuff. I did a placement in a nursery for children with additional needs which was so much fun, i learnt some sign and the kids where amazing . and im about to go into another school to teach art, which is my specialism so that should be fun . Can't believe I've only got a year left after this SCARY .

so now it's your turn to fill me in i want to hear EVERYTHING


Posted on April 29, 2012 at 10:47 AM

re: A new life, a happier me


i had to change my name

I am so happy to hear that you are doing so much better. I am so proud of you (: xx

Posted on April 24, 2012 at 9:19 PM

re: Why

Hi Iain,
Im sorry that no one replied please don't take it personally. I don't comment much on here anymore but I'm here to chat if you want xx

Posted on March 21, 2012 at 6:09 PM

re: University??


yeh i told all my housemates as i knew they would find out. It was hard as I always felt guilty always having problems with food, but luckily I had some really supportive housemates who were there for me when i needed them but also weren't always on my back about it. They were always on hand for a chat if i needed them and i often went food shopping with one of them , who would help me avoid foods or pick up foods i needed.

I'm specialising in teaching children 3-7 but will be able to teach up to 11. I love it but it is really really hard work and the stress has proven to be triggering for me but im working on getting better.

Take care (: xxx

Posted on March 19, 2012 at 7:16 PM

re: University??

Hey, Im doing teaching you? xx

Posted on March 12, 2012 at 5:16 PM

re: please someone give me some advice, i feel like i'm in prison in my own home.x


Im sorry you didnt get any replies, dont take it personally (:. Firstly huge well done for telling your mum, i know how terrifying that can be. I know its annoying to have someone constantly 'checking up' on you , trust me I understand I've had friends follow me to the bathroom before ( I've been bulimic for four years) , but whilst it may want to make you scream they're just doing it because they love you and are probably worried sick about you and they think that by watching you 24 hours a day they can somehow stop this from happening to you.

Although i understand where you are coming from in terms of not feeling ready for a group, the quicker the treatment the better. I used to go to group therapy at hospital and it was really nice to speak to people who a) werent judgemental and b) werent going to freak out with worry. I also put me in recovery (although i have relapsed now) .

Are receiving help from your gp?

Take care x

Posted on March 12, 2012 at 3:42 PM

re: University??


Dont worry, Im in my third year if uni and i told my uni that i had an eating disorder before i went. The occupational therapist sent me a list of questions and thats was it really, nothing was withdrawn (:

Take care x

Posted on March 07, 2012 at 4:42 PM

re: It gets better, I promise.

AHHHH jo its Itllbeok/tash ( i had to change my name)

You have literally made my day, im soooooo unbelievably happy for you I knew you could do it . (: xxx

Posted on March 03, 2012 at 10:48 PM

re: New to the Adult Boards... :-/

hey guys its It'llbeok (i had to change my name)

How are you Smallfry havent spoken to you in yonks? xxx

Posted on February 08, 2012 at 5:06 PM

re: Feeling very isolated and completely alone


Im 21 and also at uni. I dont live there any more but i did for the past 2 years so I can relate. I'm sorry you are having such a tough time with the people you are living with. I dont mean to sound blunt but these people don't sound like they deserve your friendship anyway. Friends are meant to be supportive not rude and frankly they should be ashamed if they are bullying you. I was lucky enough to live with a hugely supportive group of girls (ie one of them wrote me a well done card for making it through a week without purging) who I thank today for helping me to recover. Just because you had a bad experience with some people doesn't mean there aren't trustworthy and caring people out there you just have to find them. As I said I'm now in recovery and when i feel myself in danger of relapse I know who to go to to help me get on track. I'm hear if you want to chat .

Take care x

Posted on January 09, 2012 at 8:38 PM


hey everyone , I hope you're all okay.

I just wanted to give everyone a little hope before the new year roles in (:. To those who have recovered or are in recovery well done (: you should all be proud of yourselves, its a hard a long journey but you got there or are on you're way there.You fought and you won. To those who are still struggling everyday, things won't always be this way I promise. I thought it would be but I have been proven wrong. You can make 2012 the year that you get better, you really can, I made 2011 that year (:. The start of 2011 I was completely lost, but now I realise I have and have always had fabulous friends and a loving family, and now a hopeful future. All directions lead forward and I'm not going to look back. Please look forward with me .........

Love It'llbeok /Befree

Posted on December 30, 2011 at 11:37 PM

re: Lost At Sea

Hi I'm sorry to hear that you sister in law has been diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. I'm in recovery from bulimia nervosa after a 4 year battle so hopefully i can help you answer some questions.

Personally I think the worst thing you can do for someone with an eating disorder is ignore it or pretend it's not happening. It needs to be confronted and dealt with. If its kept under wraps or if it's only talked about in whisper's or behind the suffers back it helps the sufferer also pretend that it's not serious. I had a particularly bad experience with a friend who reacted really badly to it , implying that i was doing it out of selfishness or attention. Believe me if i wanted to get attention then i'd find a different way, who wants people to 'check up' on you like your a child. I didn't chose or want this. My friend quickly apologised afterwards but since then (about 2 or 3 years ago) I've never really spoken to her about it again. So what I am trying to say is that your sister in law didn't chose this as a lifestyle . It's VERY VERY hard to get out of once you're in that hole. It takes you over and you feel like no one understands you. People telling you to 'just stop' is so frustrating because it's not that simple

There is a lot of good books out there I have 'life without Ed by Jenni Schaefer, which is a really good read as its from the point of view of a person with anorexia and bulimia. It really helps you understand what's going on in the sufferer's mind. There are also some great films that are informative. There's a leaflet for syblings on this website too.

I know it must be scary to find that she is 'cheating' on the weigh ins. Sadly an eating disorder can turn you into a really good liar even if it's completely against you're morals. I lied a lot , which has led people to be weary as to if they can trust what I say or not. I would have said anything to pretend or convince people that things weren't as bad as they seemed. Whatever happens it's important to remember that she isn't lying or cheating to hurt you.

I hope she gets the support she needs.

Take care x

Posted on December 11, 2011 at 10:02 PM

re: I'm a Newbie...advice needed

I understand the fear of not wanting your parents to know but if you want this to stop then do consider this. I'm glad you've told someone. I'm the same as you I prefer to talk to people about my ed on text or online , but I've gradually been able to talk to people face to face about it , as long as you're speaking to people that' s good.

I was also aware of the dangers of purging but I always thought it wouldn't happen to me . I know what it feels like to feel the urge to do it , but that feeling will pass and will become less and less

take care xx

Posted on December 08, 2011 at 2:39 PM

re: I'm a Newbie...advice needed

I was about 16 when it all began so not to far of your age. I'm soon to be 21 and its only this past 6 months that I've been recovering. If these people are truly your friends they will want to support you through this. I've been pretty open with most of my friends and I can honestly say I wouldn't be where I am now If I didn't have their support.You may get a mixed reaction from people but then you find out who your true friends are and who you can trust. I lived with a group of my friends at uni and I couldn't hide anything from them. Ultimately it was my friends who convinced me to tell my parents and get help.

Have you thought about telling your parents? I know it may be terrifying . It took me a year and a half but it feels like such a weight has been lifted when you do. I felt really alone , and still do sometimes, but now that people know I have lots of people who will help me if I feel triggered.

You really need to speak to someone. I know it may feel like I'm being dramatic but it's a slippery slope and before you know it you can't stop yourself. I'm glad that you haven't tried to purge again, it does serious damage to your body. I've had blood vessels pop, which create red dots all over your face which you can't hide, my period has never been the same, I've fainted and I have damaged my throat before and it's all been for nothing.

Take care xx

Posted on November 30, 2011 at 9:47 PM

re: I'm a Newbie...advice needed

welcome to beat. Don't worry about saying the wrong thing, if weights are mentioned or food they will just be modified out my the fabby beat people. I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time at the moment. Your message really struck a cord for me as it's very similar to what happened to me. I'm urging you to get help now before it gets any worse. I didn't and I ended up in a 4 year battle with bulimia, which is NOT fun at all. Trust me purging is not in anyway helpful and it does nothing other than mess your body up. It's been a tough few years and I wish for you to not makes the mistakes I have.
Take care I'm here if you want to chat x

Posted on November 29, 2011 at 7:00 PM

re: help me please

Hiya sorry i forgot to message back.

Ive been in recovery on and off since June (i think :S) .I'm no where near 'recovered' I have my off days where I lapse into old ways but those are beginning to be few and far in between. I think the key is to keep at it. In past attempts I have always relapsed and thought "well thats it might as well give up now" and believe me there are times when I do still think this. However I give myself a day and then I can think more clearly about it and I realise that yeh it was rubbish that I had a relapse but ohh well life moves on, so I just get up and keep going. Most of the time it feels like a constant struggle but you I know that if I want to be happy and lead a normal healthy life I have to do this.

I hope that's helped a little. How are you? Are you getting help? xx

Posted on November 15, 2011 at 7:27 PM

re: Missing my best friend

Hi Corinne

I hope you are okay. I'm here if you want to talk,

From Befree x

Posted on November 11, 2011 at 10:15 PM

re: Help:(

Hiya here if you need to chat? xxx

Posted on November 09, 2011 at 7:57 PM

re: help me please


I also have bulimia and have had it for about 4 years. I'm slowly getting over it step by step. All I can really give you is advice on how I tackle it. When social events are coming up and I am scared I may binge/ purge I will sometimes let a close person know prior to it,so that I know I have someone on hand to talk to and be there if I feel triggered. As for Christmas, i love Christmas . I know it's daunting and may seem impossible but I literally just tell myself over and over again that It's Christmas and I am not going to let and ed spoil it for me . Try to enjoy this one day of the year that is meant for celebration (:

Take care xx

Posted on November 08, 2011 at 6:51 PM
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