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Hello all!
How are we doing?
C- Massive well done on the admission of the ED! May not seem like a big step but it really is! You're on the road to recovery now but always just take babysteps!
Jess - Sorry to hear about the suspected Reynauds but atleast it is something treatable (whichever way you do it) and it may not necessarily affect you for the rest of your life. I'd chalk that up as a win for Jess! Yoga is really great. You do feel a bit silly at first but you feel so chilled and relaxed afterwards its amazing. I used to do it all the time but whilst Im having treatment for my bad back the Chiropractor has said knock it on the head until I'm better. I miss it though!
CS - Glad to hear the virus is coming to an end! Dont be put off about starting Yoga there are lots of different levels and you dont need to be super flexible or super strong (goodness knows I'm neither!) you build it up as you go along. Give it a go it might really help you.
As for me Im now moving in the right direction weightwise so I am feeling much more positive. Also getting lots of food related education by cooking and learning all about the nutritional properties of food. It's interesting and it is really helping me to view food in a more positive light.
Hope your all ok
S xxx
Posted on October 03, 2012 at 4:26 PM
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Hi Everyone
How are we all doing?
Tulip - Congratulations on the new kitten! I am sure you will both be very happy together and he may even help you in the battle against your ED. My dog helps me because whenever I feel like a binge now I go and play with him or take him out so he is a welcome distraction. He is also great for the lonliness as I never feel lonely when he is there.
CS - Are you feeling better? Hope you've gotten over your virus or whatever it was.
As for me I'm doing much better. Chatted with my counsellor and we came up with a realistic plan to get me moving in the right direction weightwise. Ive been doing it a week and a half and I must say it is really working. Ive gotten into a food routine now with a little bit of light exercise accross the week. I'm also doing lots of cooking which is really builidng up a more positive view of food in my head. Im starting to see it less as an enemy that will attack me and more as a nutritious ally! (That sounds lame when you read it back but I think you'll get what I mean! LOL) It's good education anyway because I'm learning to see how food is good for me and why I need it and learn about different things. It's all positive!
Hope everyone is okay.
Love
S xxx
Posted on October 03, 2012 at 4:17 PM
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Hey CS
How are you doing? It's really great that your food intake has increased. You're definitely moving in the right direction and you should be proud of yourself. Get that spacehopper out and get dancing!
I'm doing a little better this week. Saw a picture of myself that one of my friends posted on a social networking site and I think it gave me the shake I needed. It really was an awful picture so I sat down with my Mum and my partner this weekend and we came up with a plan. All three of us are going to work together to push me forward in my next stage of recovery because I have sort of hit a plateau lately. I know I can do it with their suuport so watch this space over the coming weeks and we will see.
If all else fails I'll get on my spacehopper!
Have a great week and speak soon xxx
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 10:18 AM
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CS!!
How are you? xx
S xx
Posted on September 21, 2012 at 1:41 PM
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Hi Ladies
Good to hear from you both!
C - Thanks for the lovely message. I have made a massive amount of progress with the ED. I really hardly binge at all anymore and am finding comfort in other things than food when I feel low however my mood has been rubbish this past few weeks. I have spoken to the GP though and he has doubled my does of ADs so hopefully I will see an improvement from that in the next couple of weeks. If I can control the mood the rest will fall into place I am sure.
I know what you mean about the healthy lifestyle being a process you need to work towards. I might not be binging now but I am almost certain that I am eating the wrong things so I really do think I would benefit from thew professional advice of a dietician. I'll see what comes of my referral.
Other things in life are good. Wedding plans are plodding on, house purchase is almost complete and the dog is well settled in. If I can just get out of the doldrums I will be able to enjoy it! LOL
I'm sorry to hear that things havent been so great for you recently. The little things that build up usually dont stay that little for long do they? Its good that you have got support from the dietician and if they have to weigh you then you should maybe ask them not to reveal your weight to you no matter if you ask. Just until you feel ready to be okay with it because at the moment you are obviously not. At the moment you dont need to know your weight you just need to get better so focus on that and cross the weight bridge when you come to it. Anyway, Im sure this is just a blip and you'll be back on the wagon in no time so have a little faith and keep on smiling!
Jess - It's really great to hear from you too! Great news on the job, well done you that is really brilliant news I'm so chuffed for you! Sorry to hear about the cold but after all that excitement it was probably to be expected, Hope you're fighting fit soon!
I was totally shocked by your story about the fitness to work assessment. How can they not know if anorexia is a mental condition or not?! It's one of the more well known ones for sure so I dont understand. I could have understood if it had been me with binge eating as it is less well known but my word they need some new education!
Sorry to hear about youre cold fingers and toes. I would really hate that and I imagine it makes you quite miserable but chin up and get those winter woolies out. Maybe you would have tried to get better quicker if you had known what the long term consequences of your ED would be but thats something no-one can know as its different for everybody so try not to dwell on it.
Thanks for the advice on food education! I'll defitely be getting my advice from a professional medical source. Ive had so much different advice on whats good and whats not that Im totally lost so Im wiping the slate clean and finiding out whats healthy and going from there!
Wish you both luck in everything ladies!
Speak soon xxx
Posted on September 19, 2012 at 4:29 PM
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Hi Danny
Sorry to hear about your awful experience with your GP. I had a similar thing when I tried to get a referral to my local Community Mental Health Service. They basiaclly said that because I wasnt dreadfully underweight or very overweight I wasnt high priority and they wouldnt even see me!! I've since moved and done self referral because like you, my new GP isnt as sympathetic as the old one and I feel quite alone.
Don't give up though there is plently of help out there and I am certain that you will find the right one for you.
S xxx
Posted on September 19, 2012 at 4:14 PM
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Hello All
Was just looking over this thread and I realised none of us have updated in a while so thought I would.
I have been having a really rough time of it lately. I feel like I am pretty much in control of the binges now which is a really great thing. I cant actually remember the last time I had one but Im still really struggling with food. Ive been on so many fad diets over the years and slimming plans that I think I have been brainwashed about what is right and wrong and good and bad. All I want to do is have a healthy diet with a moderate amount of exercise and maintain a healthy weight. I dont think that this is too much to ask but I'm not sure how to get it. I need a bit more food education so I'm hoping I can speak to my GP about this.
Im also struggling with my depression. When I first went on my ADs I really felt like they gave me the ability to cope with whatever life threw at me. I felt calm and collected for a good 75% of each day which was a massive improvement let me tell you but now its like they arent having the same effect. I feel miserable and lazy and tired and I just really cannot be bothered and that isnt like me at all. Going to make an appointment at the doctors this week and see about changing the EDs and see if that will help pull me out of the doldrums that I seem to be stuck in.
Anyway, enough about me how are you all? Well I hope!
S xxx
Posted on September 13, 2012 at 4:38 PM
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Tulip
I'm so sorry to her about your little cat. Losing a pet can sometimes be on a level with losing a family member or friend and I know it's devastating so don't be too hard on yourself. So you had a binge? So what? It was only one and you're past it now so you can move on. It's understandable that youre a bit more vulnerable at this stage so I think one is probably not the end of the world! 
Terrible as you may feel it's probably a really good thing that you have opened up to your manager at work. She seems like she is quite understanding and now that she knows a bit more she is likely to be a bit more sympathetic if you have a bad day. I'm glad she didnt leave you alone when you were feeling down. I always feel worse when I'm alone as I focus more on what's wrong so I aim not to put myself in those situations wherever I can.
On a more positive note, from your last post it seems like the CBT is going well and this is a really good thing. I'm still hanging on for my telephone assessment but I am hoping to get an appointment with my doctors tomorrow to look at my ADs. I just dont feel like they are working anymore. I mean I'm barely bingeing at all anymore which is brilliant but my demeanour and personality are really rubbish because I lack motivation and the simple ability to deal with daily life. The ADs were helping with this and now they are not so I think it's time for a change.
Sorry again about your cat but you are doing so well so chin up and keep on fighting. You know you can always get the spacehopper out if necessary.
S xxx
Posted on September 13, 2012 at 4:22 PM
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Hello Everyone
Sorry I havent been on here in a while. I'm still struggling at the moment and am waiting for my telephone assessment with Psychological Wellbeing which is not until 11th October! It seems so so long away but I know I need it. I'm not really bingeing at all any more which is great news but I'm struggling more with the depression so I think I need a trip back to the doctors. Going to try and organise it this week I think new tablets are needed.
CS - Your post really made me smile. It's so lovely to see a positive post from you and I'm really glad things are going well for you. Keep up the good work! 
Tulip - How r u?
S xxx
Posted on September 10, 2012 at 12:27 PM
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Hi CS
Thanks for the message.
I would love to babysit for my friends I really would. As yet have never had the opportunity. A lot of people say that babysitting someone elses kids is a great way to put yourself off and get rid of the broodyness but to be honest it makes me a bit worse because I enjoy it so much!
I have been asked your question before CS, do I want babies because I want one or because everyone else is having them? and in truth the answer is because I want them. I feel so ready to take that next step and I think that even if everyboy and their dog wasnt popping kids out I would still feel like that. I'm just at that point in my life where I feel ready to do that but feel hampered because of the position I am in . It's incredibly frustrating and Im struggling immensely.
I need a new focus so I have decided that I am booking a romantic weekend away for me and the other half next month so I'mn going to throw myself into planning that. I'm also debating having a go at making my own wedding stationary but Im not terribly creative so I'll see how that goes! LOL
I'm sorry to hear that you have not been well. I hope that you are feeling much better and that you manage to get your issues sorted with antibiotics and ADs. Try not to be scared though. One little baby step at a time remember?
Wishing you luck and thinking of you.
S xx
Posted on August 30, 2012 at 1:50 PM
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Hi Michria
The hardest part of starting to recover from any ED is actually admitting you think you might have one. This is a big step and you've taken it so congratulations.
Your next point of call needs to be your doctor and I know from experience that this is a very scary thing. When I saw mine I was very worried that I'd clam up and not be able to get things out how I wanted to say them so you know what I did? I wrote it all down. I went into my GP with a note pad that contained a list of all the things I thought were odd about my relationship with food. We talked it through and we discussed the est course of action. Now I am nowhere near recovered and I still have a long way to go but I am so much better than I was that day and you can be too.
Be brave and make the appointment, I know you can do it. We'll be here to support you every step of the way.
S xxx
Posted on August 28, 2012 at 4:55 PM
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Hello Alice
First let me say well done for taking that first step and admitting you have a problem. It's the hardest part and you have done it so well done you!
I think your next point of call has to perhaps be your GP. They can advise you on what type of help and/or medication will suit you best and can support you through your recovery.
You were brave enough to come on here so I know you can be brave enough to make that appointment.
Good luck and were here if you need us.
S xxx
Posted on August 28, 2012 at 4:51 PM
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Hi Sparkle
Sorry to hear that you are struggling.
I think that the best thing you can do is be honest with your GP. Tell them absolutely everything and make it clear that you are desperate for help and willing to fight this. No GP could not offer their help after that.
I wish you lots of luck and as always we are all here if you need us.
S xxx
Posted on August 28, 2012 at 4:49 PM
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Kaz
I know just how you feel. I think these clubs do work for some people and not for others. Clearly, they dont work for me or you! However that doesnt mean there arent things we can do and it seems your book has already pointed that out to you so keep down that path and you wont go far wrong.
Well done on the 3 days no binges! You may not think that this is good but it's a fab start! We all have to start somewhere and the way I look at it if you can do small things you can make them bigger. I started with a couple of days, then a week and so on. The more I did the more I knew I couold do and its nice setting a target and smashing it.
Good for you finding the self help book, theis website is great too like Tulip says, its a great support network and place to make new friends. Go to the doctors when your ready but try not to put it off too long, you will feel better for going I promise!
Good luck
S xx
Posted on August 23, 2012 at 2:41 PM
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Hello Ladies
Thank you both for your speedy and helpful replies. Sometimes even just knowing we have eachothers support is enough to make you feel a bit better.
Tulip - Thank you. It is really tough at the moment and I am really struggling. I just feel so tired all the time and have lost all my enthusiasm for everything. Its like I have no more energy left and its reallt deflating.
I know 3 weeks isnt that long but it could be weeks after that until I actually see someone for a full blown appointment. There is no end in sight at the moment and I just don't know what to do until then. I was eating healthy and exercising but still gaining weight and I couldnt understand it because I wasnt bingeing.
I feel I must be doing something wrong but I dont know what and I need some help. Spoke to my email counsellor last night and she had a few suggerstions but I jst feel really lost. I've had a few binges over the last week and that has made me feel a whole lot worse. I just dont know how to pick myself up out of this horrible rut.
CS - Thanks. I know the wedding is only 9 and a half months away and believe me the first 8 months of this year have gone quicker than I ever could of imagined so I can only dream how quick the next 9 will go but It just seems so long. I mean it could take years for us to have a family and I just dont think I can cope with feeling like this any longer. Lots of my friends either have or are having babies and I find it difficult to be around them which is making me feel lonely. I dont know what to do with myself.
Thank you both so much for your support. Sorry I feel like my last two posts have been very me me me. How are you both? Spacehopping away?
S xxx
Posted on August 23, 2012 at 2:33 PM
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Hey guys, how r we all?
I've got to admit I'm having a really rubbish day today. Feeling really low and just have no energy or enthusiasm for everything.
I think I'm getting a bit sick of myself. I want to recover but I dont really know what to do next or how to move forward and I've got another 3 weeks before my telephone assessment with the Psycholoigial Wellbeing service meaning it could be months before anything happens and I just want it over. Im sick of feeling this way and of looking in the mirror and hating myself and most of all I'm sick of the fact that food rules my life. I really hate that.
Also, my hormones are becoming a huge problem. I have been really broody for a while now and this has been fuelled by the fact that everyone around me has either got children or is having them. For a while it was ok and I laughed it off but now it's really getting me down. I'm so ready to be a mum and am desperate for children but having them now would be a bad idea as I'm mid recovery. Plus my partner is adament that he wants to be married before we even start trying and the wedding isn't for another 9 1/2 months. Its really affecting my mood and making recovery so much harder. I dont want to have a baby to "fix things" as that wouldnt be fair or right but I can't see anything else but that at the moment. I'm obsessed. I'm even creating pregnacy symptoms in my head.
I know this probably hasnt happened to any of you and you cant really sympathise with it but its something that is really hindering my recovery and I dont really have anyone else to talk to about it. You guys are such a great support network that I couldnt think of anyone better to chat to.
Im sorry that this post is a bit miserable when mine are usually so positive and cheery but I'm struggling today.
Thanks for listening.
S xxx
Posted on August 22, 2012 at 2:15 PM
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Hi Kaz
I read your post and I swear it was like reading about my own life 5 months ago. I also have a binge eating issue and for ages I avoided going to the doctors as I didnt want to admit it. I just thought I was being silly and making excuses for eating the things I was but when something like this has such a massive impact on your life then something has to be done. I dragged myself to the doctors and I'm not going to lie it wasnt easy but once I had done it I felt so much better. My doctor was very understanding and sympathetic and she was really helpful. I then went on to follow her advice, get some self help books and try to fight this thing. 5 months on and while I am certainly not recovered, I am doing so much better and really learning how to tackle this thing in a positive and beneficial way. The longest I have managed to go without a binge is so far 6 weeks so it really is possible. Going to the doctors is the hardest part but once you have done it things really do look brighter.
I hope my little story has helped you and that you find yourself able to make that important appointment. It also seems like we have a bit in common so I'm always here to chat if you feel the need.
Good luck and take care
S xxx
Posted on August 22, 2012 at 2:05 PM
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Hi All
How are we doing?
CS - How was the holiday? It sounds like you had fun catching up with friends and getting up to general mischeif! If you have brought some good memories back with you maybe you can use them when you are having a down day. They'll help you kick the box! Sorry to hear you're not well, I hope that you feel better soon. Get that spacehopper out if need be...
Tulip - I wholeheartedly agree with CS, the word "should" is a very counterproductive word. There is no benchmark to set yourself when fighting an ED If you feel like you are doing well then you are and that is all there really is to it. Everyone has down days and they affect us more than most I think because we deal with them differently. Dont measure your success just celebrate it. Also, lots of luck for the CBT assessment, let us know how you get on.
As for me, I'm doing okay. There is a lot of stressful things on at the moment and I'm finding it very difficult to cope but I have lots of support so Im managing. Im not going to lie and say that I havent slipped off the wagon once or twice in the last two weeks but generally I have stuck to my meal plan and my routine and tried to do as well as I can. I wont let a few little slip ups ruin all the hard work that I have done so far. This is already an improvement though because if all these stressful things had happened 6 months ago I can almost guarantee I wouldnt have coped. You ladies are in part responsible for that so thank you all.
In other news, I self referred myself to my local Psychological Wellbeing Service a few weeks ago (Ive moved now so am in a different area, and they called me back and I have a telephone assessment booked in September. Im looking forward to this as it may be a big step to getting some real professional help. It might just be the last big push for me into recovery.
So to sum up, I'm struggling but I'm coping.
I hope you are all doing well.
S xxx
Posted on August 14, 2012 at 3:55 PM
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Hi Jess and CS
Just been reading your last two posts and I really agree. Society nowadays is really sending out the wrong messages to young people and social media is just fuelling the fires. Parents should be teaching kids to love themselves for them and not the way they look at an early age I agree but is it enough? With magazines and TV/Film, pop stars and social media piling on the peer pressure can parents get through? And even if they can, will they be able to stop it? I dont know. I always thought of myself as quite level headed and able to cope with pressure and accept myself but I still ended up with an easting disorder so how much can we really do?
Jess - I hope you are doing well and that things are going okay with the little sis. Don't worry too much about the scales, you'll get rid of them when you are good and ready so just put them to the back of your mind until that time comes. I got on mine for the first time in about 3 months last week on the advice of my GP and while I was unhappy with what I saw I am now using it as a positive rather than a negative. Im thinking right I'm unhappy with this but I am going to change it and this last week i have worked hard and seen a change already. It's spurred me on. At the end of the day you can only do whats right for you.
CS - I like your idea of the positive associations. It's something I do alot and I find that it works well. It is different for everyone though and I think once you find the positive association that works for you then you can work it to your advantage. I try and associate mine with my wedding! LOL
I hope you're both okay. I'm doing alright. Had a full month worth of binge free days before slipping ever so slightly off the wagon but I'm back on with full force and am on day number 8 of round two. I know I can do it now so I feel more confident.
Hope you're both well.
S xxx
Posted on August 06, 2012 at 12:41 PM
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Hello Everyone!
Sorry I havent been on here for ages! I normally come on my lunchbreaks at work but I've had a week off this week so havent really been online. Ok let me make sure I get everyone in here...
Tulip - How are you lovely? I hope everything is going well for you and things are moving forward. If it helps at all I have now gone 6 weeks without bingeing! 6 weeks! It can be done so keep fighting! If need be you can dust off that spacehopper!
Lozzcanhope - Thanks for the message. Its been a long while since we heard from you how are things going? Are you okay?
Mitzi - Welcome to the thread! The book I am reading is Overcoming Bulimia Nervosa and Binge Eating by Peter Cooper. I hope this helps you out!
CS - Thank you for your absolutely wonderful post! I am so so glad that other people can look at my journey and take inspiration from it to aid their own recoveries. After I read your post I went back and read through the whole thread and I can see what you mean about the change. I was all lost and scared and alone and now I have gone 6 weeks without bingeing and really feel like I am in a good place and things are going well. And all in just a few months! I have to say though that I couldnt have done any of this without the support of you and every other person in these threads. You all keep me going and give me the strength and encouragement I need to push forward so thank you. I hope I can return the favour someday!
I hope everyone is doing super and I cant wait to hear from you all soon!
S xxx
Posted on August 03, 2012 at 5:41 PM
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