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Thanks both
I have had AN for many years
It "hits" when a crisis happens and yes I am under care of specialist ED team. Just wish I could feel better about myself - I feel I must frustrate people who love me
I fully "get" the exercise thing Bunnylove as I feel desperate to as I type this but I have t get my cat to vets for his jabs!!!! (saved by the cat....!)
Lots of love
A xxx
Posted on May 01, 2013 at 4:48 PM
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Hello all
Hope you are doing as well as can be expected.
Been "away" a long time as not had a working computer, however things have changed a bit.
I took the decision to tell my daughter about my illness (she is 16). She took it very well and was very understanding (to my surprise). In a lot of ways it has been a relief to finally be open about my AN....
I am hoping that this will help me towards recovery in some ways as I need to do it for her......
Have missed being on this forum and I do think about you all.
A x
Posted on April 29, 2013 at 8:19 PM
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It is a dangerous path to go down as it could lead to a complete relapse.
Change is difficult, especially when you are dealing with an illness like this. You have done so well - I hope you find the inner strength to reward yourself in a less harmful way for how well you have done,
A x
Posted on November 09, 2012 at 12:57 PM
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Well done Sian. That sounds positive.
CS - hope you are okay.
and everyone else - hello! Hope you are all coping okay with everything!
A x
Posted on October 10, 2012 at 12:23 PM
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Thanks both
You have both made very relevant points and yes there was a trigger this time and another trigger to the "blip" - and I hope that is all it is....
Cagster - worried about you as you sound so down.... you MUST tell your therapist everything re how you feel etc as that is what they are there for. Don't feel guilty about how others feel re your illness - you can't help it... who would choose to feel like this, let's face it?
I am still on a bit of a downer tbh, but I know that I can claw my out of this - it IS possible - I have managed it before. Was shocked when someone was so upset about me that she cried... in public.....
It is a horrid place to be - Cagster, I hear what you are saying - we know that we need to get better but actually doing anything about it is the hard part.... I almost switch off when people lecture me on how dangerous this illness is.... it is almost like they are talking about someone else???
I, too, was an overachiever - still am a bit of a perfectionist if I am honest..... again, part of our make-up and explains a lot....
Stay safe and well both of you and here for chats if you need sound off
A xxx
Posted on October 08, 2012 at 8:14 PM
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Hello all
Was doing well but now things have gone downhill and feeling SO bad about it all...
Don't know if/how I will ever get over this AN.....
A x
Posted on October 05, 2012 at 10:13 PM
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Hi
I think it is pretty common to go from one ED to another and, from what I read on here, a lot seem to vary between restricting and binge eating.
Sounds like you have had a very tough time of it and maybe you just haven't fully dealt with the trauma from when you were younger - these things can affect people in all different ways and, in our cases, it is with food control... 
I think you need to keep talking to your counsellor to work through the issues - be as honest as you can as that is what they are there for. Also, coming on here and talking about how you feel re food is very helpful as you will very quickly realise you are surrounded by many others who know just how you feel.
(hugs)
A xxx
Posted on October 03, 2012 at 4:36 PM
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Best of luck with it from me - hope it went well.
This may be just the thing to get your life back on track and to help you to move on from your ED. I hope so anyway!
They will have expected you to be nervous I am sure.....
A xxx
Posted on October 03, 2012 at 4:28 PM
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I really feel for you as I have had the same happen with horses in the past. Many hugs from me - don't know what else to say really?
A xxx
Posted on October 03, 2012 at 4:25 PM
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Hello - think I may need to alter the dose perhaps? Got so much "stuff" going on that I am just a bit overwhelmed by it all.... and therefore eating suffers :'(
KNOW AN not the answer to my problems though - just makes them worse really - hard though I find it to see that at times!!!
Hope you are all doing okay
A xxx
Posted on October 02, 2012 at 6:49 PM
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Hi - well done for posting! That is the first step!
How awful that you were shouted at! That can't be helpful in any way whatsoever.
I think an awful lot of us will feel the same - ie don't want to lose control but KNOW that to have a full life that we need to get better.
I know I am just terrified of gaining weight and the first sign of a crisis I restrict all over again....
You need to find a sympathetic GP who can refer you to an ED team.
Meanwhile, keep talking on here!
Best of luck and you are lucky to have a caring and supportive, concerned partner!
A x
Posted on October 01, 2012 at 7:59 PM
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Hello all!
I have been a bit quiet on here but do think of you all and wonder how you are all doing?
Things bad ED wise this end too - also hit and miss with the anti d's as I don't think they help the ED at all in my case.....
Hugs from me to you all
A x
Posted on October 01, 2012 at 7:53 PM
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Thank you both and your suggestions are all good - I will try those tips!
Hope you are both doing okay,
A xxx
Posted on September 17, 2012 at 4:10 PM
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I feel for you as I have also had unpleasant side effects with meds - HOWEVER, my friend MADE me continue taking them and the side effects do seem to ease as your body gets used to them...
Obviously I do not know what you are taking but I have been through most of the meds out there at some point and I don't know of any where the side effects did not diminish...
Keep taking them if you can, if not go back to your GP and let them know how much you are struggling....
Love and Support
A xxx
Posted on September 16, 2012 at 4:54 PM
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Hello all - sorry but I have been away for a bit so have only just got back on here and hugs to all who need them....
I am in a bad place right now.... I was doing reasonably well, but now I just seem to be back in a destructive place where I struggle to maintain a healthy weight :'(.... people are now starting to comment on my weight again...
Feel like I am letting so many people down (let alone myself) - just don't know how to cope with gaining weight without going into panic mode and restricting again...
I really equate low weight to success which is absolutely illogical when I see it written down..
A xxx
Posted on September 14, 2012 at 10:25 PM
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Hello - yes me too.... I KNOW that I NEED to recover as I am damaging my body so much, but I am really struggling.
Terrified that I will have "failed" in some way ..... it is a real catch 22 .....
Glad to know I am not the only one frightened of recovery....
A x
Posted on September 02, 2012 at 5:58 PM
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I agree. You need a GP to diagnose and then you should get the help you need.
There IS help out there,
A x
Posted on September 02, 2012 at 5:54 PM
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Hello - well I have suffered AN on and off for about 35 years and I have managed to have 2 children, despite fears I wouldn't be able to conceive. Best of luck!
A x
Posted on September 02, 2012 at 5:52 PM
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Hello - just catching up!!! Blimey - haven't got time to read all this thread!!!
Re society etc - it has been like this for years - a certain advert has haunted me most of my life...... made me feel that I didn't measure up and MUST be fat ..... mmmm...
Hope you are all okay
A xxx
Posted on August 07, 2012 at 12:05 PM
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I am feeling panicky right now too - I have my children on school holidays so my normal routine is all out - terrified over how I will cope with them around and having to try and eat "normally". The ex also wants me to take them swimming but I just can't do the whole bathing suit thing - feel people stare at me enough as it is without exposing the bod in swimwear :'(
I hope you are able to draw strength from somewhere to enjoy your hols
A xxxxx
Posted on July 27, 2012 at 9:01 PM
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