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sorry i havent been on in a while, iv done it iv beaten my anorexia again so im on a high.
how are the rest of you guys doing
bee xx
Posted on April 01, 2013 at 1:22 PM
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good luck to all.
love bee xx
Posted on April 01, 2013 at 1:19 PM
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thank you tigger im so glad i some how found my strength from somewhere im not sure how iv done it but i am doing it. so to all. it is posible just keep fighting
so olive nice to hear from you again. how have you been. are you ok?
hope everyone else is doing ok
love and best wishes bee xx
Posted on April 01, 2013 at 1:13 PM
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haya beth nice to meet you. i have just beaten my anorexia again. it was like a switch just flicked and i found myself beating it again for the second time. so it can be done. If you dont feel you have the strength to do it on your own, perhaps you could get some help?
moonstar i hope your doing ok?
love bee xx
Posted on April 01, 2013 at 1:07 PM
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m really good today thank you. i am positive that i can beat my anorexia again. and i am trying really hard today. whether i can keep this mind set up is a different matter but im going to try my hardest to.
im glad the holiday went better then expected and that you mannaged the meals even though you found it difficult and scary. thats a massive achievement well done 
why have you stopped taking your meds?? surely that will only make thignsd seem worce??
if you need more help then take the initative and go and get it before things get too bad. you can do this, thigns will get better again but the one person who can help you is you. you need to be teh brave one and take control of your ed dont let it control you. your worth more then to be stuck with your ed.
be strong keep fighting, dont give in
love bee xx
Posted on March 28, 2013 at 1:14 PM
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yes im having a fab day.
i am and are going to beat my ed i have changed my mind set found my determination and are starting to change my ways. i guess today is justthe first day of this. the real test will be gaining weight. the sociulising im still not so good at but im sure if i stay positive i will get better at it. i need to be brave and try foods i havent had in a while, i just hope i can stay positive and this isnt just a one off day
bee xx
Posted on March 28, 2013 at 1:09 PM
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haya gus iv found my PMA
i am going to beat my ED again. iv eaten more then normal and have stopped counting. i dont know what happened i suddenly saw how dreadful i was looking and how ill i really was.
i hope you all can find the strength to dig your selves out of the very dark whole
bee xx
Posted on March 28, 2013 at 1:06 PM
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im so sorry to hear that. that must have been devistating for you.
adele im sorry for you too
thoughts are with both of you
bee x
Posted on March 28, 2013 at 1:03 PM
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just to add also having your ED will give you a more negative out look so things and people will seem worce when your ED is strong which may or may not affect how you percieve people. not sayiny that is always the case - jsut my opinion from my own experiance.
so that person wont always be right and just taking a deep breath and looking at the situation again is how i would deal with it. maybe telling that person how your feeling or how they are making you feel. its not good to keep these things to your self otherwise they might come out in a way that wasnt intended.
but other then these questions which dont seem to have straight forward answers how are you. you havnt posted on the other thread for a while,
bee xx
Posted on March 26, 2013 at 3:18 PM
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haya guys
yeah its such a rubbish circle to get in. it keeps getting harder and harder to get out of and i feel like im spiraling downwards.
i understand also about the sosulising thing its so easy just to hide way when food is involved. it somehow it feels easier if you could just blend into the wall paper or something so that no one could see you. therefore they wouldnt look or comment.
easter seems to be a bad time considering all the festivities that come with it and all teh food and going out for meals. doesnt increase confidence at all.
i hope this all makes sence im so tired but to be honest in shattered all the time and im not sleeping very well either .
hugs to all
bee xx
Posted on March 26, 2013 at 3:12 PM
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thanx bluebell. i feel much better calling you that then OL.
im not sure if im having an up or a down day to be honest. just been out driving with mums partner for a while and i have booked my driving test for may which will be cool if i pass it. food just seems such a massive issue. its the easter holidays for me and im worried about not being able to do much sport and when my mums home shes always nagging me and its just making it harder. beacuase its eater everyones like * and im like no thank you....... grrrrr . my gums are getting really saw beacuse of my lacking in nutrients and increase in * and things so how are you BB then???
tigger congratualations on getting the job that is fabulous well done you must be so chuffed and pleased. its not selfish of you maybe just do some preplanning so you are more prepared if your friends are true friends they will understand how hard it is and do their best to make it easier for you. i worry about that all the time. heving an ED tends to make these things that little bit harder for us. think of the positive that you got the job not the fact that your ED hasnt gone away. it wont jsut go it will take time ans alot of energy to get it to go away.
FP and Olive how are you both???
Posted on March 26, 2013 at 3:05 PM
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haya i understand completly i hope the holiday goes or has gone well. i ahve that feel about this summer coming my girlfriend wants me to go to frace with her and her family for a week and im kinda scared as meals is a big thing for them. shes already trying to plan hows she going to feed me. so i just wed go food shopping or something.
energy levels are a big sign that somethings not right, i havnt had a period since my replase. its been described that we are like cars. cars need fuel in the form of petral or desil to run. and we need fuel in the form of food to 'run' so i guess if we run on empty then everything seems so much harder to do. i know i have difficulty batterling with my anorexia. im sorry no one posted for you before now. i have been on here for a while just over the past couple of days i havnt been feeling up to posting i was just a bit down.
nice to meet you moonstar by the way.
love bee xx
Posted on March 25, 2013 at 8:31 AM
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sorry i did see that you posted i just didnt feel up to replying. i guess there are good bits of days most days and alright meals but when i need to i can talk the talk of getting better just cant walk the walk if you get me.
my exams are in june i finish on the 17th. bless my mum she practically lied for me at parents evening at school to keep my teahers thinking that i was ok so that i can stay at school.
a PMA is a positive mental attitude . how are you im so not enjoying all this cold weather. im so glad you enjoyed your meal out im getting better at it as long as people dont comment cos i get so sensitive about it.
i hope everyone else is ok
love and hugs bee xx
Posted on March 25, 2013 at 8:23 AM
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yeah i really hope olive is ok its been ages since shes posted.
sorry i got the postbut i didnt feel able to reply. im all a rollercoster of emotions at the moment. my life is all changing and scary and confusing.
i want to leave school/collage iv been in the same place for like 9 years. i really am scared too. im rubbish at change and my ed is pretty bad currently too. so i hope i can shake it off soon but im not so good at looking to the future or haveing a PMA.
how is everyone ????? tigger how the sessions
FP how are you i feel we havent spoke in a while and OP i hope your feeling better as you said you were struggling.
love to all
bee xxx
Posted on March 21, 2013 at 4:58 PM
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hay OL
its just a nice feeling in a way knowing that im not alone in this feeling. im sorry to hear that your also struggling. sorry i cant say anything positive either. my life is slightly complecated currently trying to sort out next year as i didnt get into uni and apparently quite unlikely to get the grades i needed either even though iv worked my socks off. i dont think the pressure i put on myself doesnt help with my ed. OL i hope your going to keep strong.
ohh janine sorry i got the wrong end of the stick. im so glad your boyfriend helps you, my family are trying to help me im not very good at letting them help me. im not very good at accepting help from people in a current state. how was work ??? are you feeling better??? i know what you mean the less you do the more you think about your ed so the worse it gets
love bee xx
Posted on March 21, 2013 at 4:52 PM
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hay OL
nice to hear from you again. yep its sad that were struggling.
oh and if you do change your name please say who you are otherwise i may get confused. but OL sounds better then oldlady so we could just shorten it.
how are you doing?
bee xx
Posted on March 19, 2013 at 6:52 PM
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haya
i feel the same. well i know what your feeling. iv had anorexia on and off for two years. i get concerned too when people close to me talk about their weight of how they look. im currently relapsing, it sounds like a great idea to have a meal plan. i wish i had one. i wasnt discharged with a replase plan unfortunatly.
i guess if you start slipping then you could go back to your ed team or your doctor. im a fine one to talk cos i havent but its probably the right thing to do.
your lucky you have people you can talk to about it. i feel i cant talk to anyone thats why im on here .
im sure your boyfriend doesnt mean to encourage you and im sure if he undstood he wouldnt be. doesnt help in the struggle to fight the ed. so i know what you mean.
sorry this kinda applies to the both of you i should really have written replies to both separtly.
ohhppppsss
well best of luck to both. your not alone
bee xx
Posted on March 19, 2013 at 6:49 PM
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haya guys this kind of replies to both of you at the same time
i feel so scared of it being taken out of my control. i keep lying. its really worrying.
doent matter that it was blocked its a good thing that people actually do read these posts it keeps everything positive or not too negitive if you get me.
yes i find it so tiring being emotional all the time i do the same cry for no reason ect.... sometimes i feel happy and sometimes i dont, i feel like i have or am losing myself again. i dont feel i know who i am anymore so your not alone there.
fp how was the therapy session?
tigger i love the essays it means you have taken the time to think and write a decent reply. that makes me feel special almost. so thank you
hope your all doing ok
love bee xx
Posted on March 19, 2013 at 2:45 PM
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hay fp sunday was really awkward. i really didnt enjoy it. i managed some * with a *. and they made comments about how much they exercise and how much they weighted ect......
my school tried to get involved its horrible i never normally lie and now its like a habit. my moods change so much i cry i feel happy i feel despartly sad, confused and it all changes all the time. i dont know what to think or feel. people dont know how to deal with me.
hay oldlady
yeah i feel exactly the same. i feel trapped in a visious cycle and i dont know or dont feel about to get out of it. sunday was horrible i didnt enjoy it at all/
hope your both doing ok or atleast better then me
love bee xx
Posted on March 18, 2013 at 3:47 PM
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hay ladybirdboots
its really nice to meet you and to hear you being so positive. i wish i had that strength right now that you are talking about
bee x
Posted on March 15, 2013 at 1:13 PM
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