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well what can i tell you muffin xx you're not alone x i struggle with over eating too and help is sparse x you're never alone here though darling x if you're not happy with your psych maybe worth thinking of trying to go private. if you're on benefits they may do reductions.
im with you x
I've just eaten loads and my male friend went and made some comment today to 'encourage' me saying that 'soon' il be a size ..... . i felt a bit insulted as if that particular size is essential in rode rot look attractive :,(
infact i eat loads every day and feel awful for it. i get fatter everyday at the moment and am very sad :,(
thinking of you
love bling x
and ps i know it is a crisis hun x me too its just people are blind unfortunately x
Posted on July 27, 2012 at 10:07 PM
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hi cs xxx
i see my private counsellor at the beginning of august so not long now.
it is upseting to hear of people like yourself soo desperate for help and yet they are still not heard or supported.
you are right beat is an amazing charity that has helped me so so much over the years and you're right also that they i think have done an amazing job at taking away some of the stigma that has been attached to the name of eating disorders for far too long
your counsellor sounds like she is really good !
i am soo excited about meeting mine too x
so saddened to hear you turned away form beat . i have done this before when i believed i didn't deserve any help. it s so important of us to keep coming back i think.
i tried joining the over eaters anonymous in the my home town but i found it unhelpful.
its frustrating that i feel there is so little help ofor us .
looking forward to hearing from you soon x bling
Posted on July 26, 2012 at 7:08 PM
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hey cs xxx
thank you for your beautiful reply x meant so much to me.
i am saddened to hear of your struggles and that you have been discriminated against so.
all the specialists say its about how you feel and not your weight yet they're the ones who are still judging us according to our weight.
i too am overweight now. and i hate my body more than ever.
it makes me so angry that we have been abandoned for so long.
i cannot wait for my private appointment and your response has given me so much extra confidence x thank you so much.
it is insane that the health services won't doing anything it would seem until we are at death's door and i am so insulted and hurt by this system for people like us and also for the people who have actually starved themselves down to a treacherous level in order to get a little bit of kindness and help in their lives. of course you deserved help and you should never question this
the whole thing makes me angry.
please stay in touch i was so delighted to receive your post
blingbling x
Posted on July 25, 2012 at 8:57 PM
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hi lydlud x thanks for your post.
thing is i am not a healthy bmi i am overweight.
thanks for your support though it makes me very angry too and it's nice to know somebody cares.
thanks for the advice and sorry to hear of your suffering x always here to chat
Bling x
Posted on July 20, 2012 at 5:43 PM
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i ve been using self help books for over 8 years now.
I've been waiting on my first adult ed referral in my current county for four years.
i have decided to take further action and go private.
my social worker has also suggested i make an official complaint to the ed service in my county.
im glad you have access to cbt.
maybe one day i will too.
all the best
bling
Posted on July 18, 2012 at 6:29 PM
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Feel so depressed.
it would seem that there is no support available at all for my disordered eating. i have been waiting on the ed list for nearly 3 years now. and cos I'm not underweight no help.
so upset.
i feel sad that i didn't get a reply to two of the posts i put up fortnight ago.
feeling very sad ad upset.
the only other guy in my life is far too old for me and obsessive.
i like him greatly but like he wants me to like him and i feel he will hold me back fro meeting someone nice eventually but my ed will hold me back first and my fat body not to mention my loneliness which stops me breaking off from this guy.
sorry if my message doesn't seem ed based enough but i really feel so insecure . i am not young any more and have never had proper relationship. i feel v sad and sick and so ugly.
i use dot be an attractive girl ad this is what bingeing has done to me. :,(
also to find out that pals couldn't even help me to speed up my referral and that when eventually they found a number for the service I've been referred to she rang them and they are out of their office until 30th july anyway!
pals said my area of uk wasn't their responsibility.
they referred me onto someone else but they couldn't hep me either :,(
there are also no support groups near me besides the oa whih i do not find is helping me.
so there we have it . there is nothing!
all my social worker has told me for the last 4 years i that the ed department are spared of really 'serious' cases as they are sooo under resourced.
any one else feel they are discriminated against for having an ed and not being underweight???
id be interested to know xx
Please someone reply I'm feeling very sad and desperate now.
:,(
bing
Posted on July 15, 2012 at 4:24 PM
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HW ARE YOU ALL??
I AM REALLY STRUGGLING WITH MY WEIGHT :,(
SLEEP WAS WONDERFUL AND I WAS TIRED
I AM SO HELPLESS OVER MY EATING I GIVE UP SOMETIMES :,(
MY COUNSELLOR SAYS THAT THEY WILL NOT CONCENTRATE ON THE EATING AS IT IS NOT THE ROOT CAUSE OF MY PROBLEMS. THIS IS TRUE AND I KNOW THEY ARE SO RIGHT BUT NOTHNG SEEMS TO BE WORKINNG AT THE MOMENT .
I FEEL SO SESNTIVE TO EVERYBODY I CAHT TAKE ANNYTHING ANYONE SAYS EVEN MY COUNSELLOR :,(
PLEASE HELP
X BLING
PS SORRY TO HAVE BEEN SP SELFISH I HOPE YOU ARE ALL OK ??? X BLING
Posted on July 06, 2012 at 12:32 PM
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HELLO!!
I FOUND YOUR POST!!
YOU HAVE MY UTTER MOST SYMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING ON THIS ONE !!
I TOO HAVE STRUGGLED WITH BINGEING FOR MANY YEARS NOW AND HAVE STRUGGLED TO ACCESS ANY HELP :,(
I FEEL FOR YOU SO MUCH BECAUSE THIS ILNESS IS JUST AS DEHABILITATING AS BULIMIA AND ANOREXIA YET I FEEL I DONT GET ANY SUPPORT OR RECO9GNITION FOR MY SUFFERINBG APART FROM ON THIS WEB SITE !
THE ONLY THINGS I CN SUGGEST ARE JOING THE OA THEY CAN BE SORT OF HELPFUL AND ALSO GETTING YOURSELF A PRIVATE COUNSELLOR IF YU CAN AFFORD IT X
HOW IS YOUR DAY GOING??
MINE IS DERPRESSING.
I ALSO HAVE A SUMMER COLD.
RECENTLY I HAVE TRIED TO GIVE UP OBSESSING ABOUT WHETEHR OR NOT I AM BINGEING
HOW AM I EVER GOIN TO OVER COME THIS ILLNESS I DO NOT KNW AND I PRAY FOPR A BETTER DAY TO COME ONE DAY :,(
HOPE YOU RE HAVING SOME HAPPIER DAYS SINE YOU POSTED LOVE BLING X
Posted on July 06, 2012 at 12:26 PM
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hI BUNNYLOVE AND SIAN77 XXXX AND EVERYONE ELSE X
I AM BAK NOW AS MY CONPUTER HAS BEEN REPAIRED X
I HAVE MISSD YOU SO MUCH :,(
IM FEELING SO DEPRESSED :,(
I FIND IN IT HARD NOW LOOKINHG BACK TO BELIEVE THAT I WASW EVER ANOREXIC OR BULIMIC AS I JUST BINGE EAT DAYS :,(
I FEEL SO ASHAMED.
I FELT UPSET BY SOME OF THE THNGS MY COUNSELLOR SAID RECENTLY TOO :,(
THEY DONT WANT ME TO REACH OUT TO OTHERS ALL THE TIME, THEY WANT ME TO HAVE MORE RESPECT FOR MYSELF AND TO KEEP THINGS TO MYSELF SOMETIMES.
I UNDERSTAND THIS AND AGREE BUT I ALSO COULDNT HELP TAKING IT AS AN INSULT TOO :,(
EVERYTHING I TAKE AS AN INSULT :,(
I AM STRESSED OUT BY WORK AND FEEL DEPPRESSED THAT EVEN AFTER MY RECENT COUNSELLING SESSION I AM FEELING SO LOW AND HAVE DAYS TO WAIT BEFORE MY NEXT ONE :,(
EVERYTHING IS FEELING VERY STRESSSFUL INCLUDING MY MONEY SITUATION :,(
I JUST WISH THERE WAS SOMEBODY JUST ONE PERSON WEHO COULD GIVE ME A GENUINE HUG BUT THERE IS NOONE.
I AM COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY ALONE AS PER USUAL.
MISSING YU ALL XXXXX
X BLING
Posted on July 06, 2012 at 12:17 PM
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hi sian77 x
wonderful to hear from you and bunnylove as always xxxx
i am ok thank you
have stuck to my meal plan basicaly today so happy about that.
it is wonderful advice from you to take baby steps and each day as it comes x
i KNOW you will get there! and i hope i will too x i am very determined!
Yeah thanks for yrou support about the letter it was v negative :,(
but youre right i can over look that !
the same routine in a food plan woudl inevitably lead to binges if too rigid i agree.
i think your advice is very helpful . i think i shoudl think abotu adapting my foodplans each day to fit into my life and not the other way around x
yep forgiving ourlseves is so hard but so essential and we will do it for each other and for ourselves x
i believe too that days of feelign special and beautiful are ahead of all of us but i just realised what i never said before is that i never felt special or beautiful before in my life !
anyway
loads of hugs
x bling
Posted on June 12, 2012 at 7:23 PM
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To Bunnylove x
thank you loads for your two messages x
i am having a reasonable day although have been with people who can cause me lots of upset at times today which i am very concerned about but sometimes have no choices.
i hope this doesnt bring me down tonight as i have done well today x
how are you???
sorry to hear that you have such problems with your joints :,(
i think it is a great idea to use our misfortunes to help educate others x
I read your posts in detail and i certainly agree that gettign plenty of rest i very important.
i sometimes have binged because i felt tired i think when actually i could have got myself into bed.
thank you sooooooooooooooooooo much for the brilliant advice you have given me x so sorry i have taken a while to respond. my computer is broken at mo x so on someone else's.
I need to look at my cravings if and when they come and see wich other physical things and feelings i am lacking.
and you are also right that addressing emotional issues is an extremely long and delicate process.
I have heard of some of the help charities you tell me off but have only ocassionally had access to ring them :,(
hopefully my situation will shortly be changing in this respect.
Thank you also for your empathy about the letter and your encouragement.
STRATERGIES sound liek a BRILLIANT way to avoid bingeing yes!! thank you
a list of written alternatives pinned to my wall or even fridge i was thinking sounds liek a masterplan.
yes i also agree that looking into some further education could be a really good idea for me and to keep me occupied.
yes!!! activities and structure!!!!! all sounds brilliant ! x
sorry if im not v reliabel at responding for a few weeks :,(
x bling
Posted on June 12, 2012 at 7:07 PM
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HI sian77 x
thnak you for your post x
i hope the house move goes really well. im so sure it will x stay calm and positive and remember you will soon get back on your feet once you get a few things organized in your own room x it's always the best place to start x
your positive attitiutude towards not just our eds but also to life gives me so much strength and inspiration x
i am also soo disappointed because i got a letter from the ed service today.
i was sooooooooo excited and hoped that after over 2 years waiting it was an appointment! but afetr opening the envelope i realised it was just a letter to tell me that i am still on the waiting list :,(
i HATE binge eating disorder :,(
thank you so much for your advice about the food plans.
youre right changes each and every day seems obvious now and essential x for some reason before i felt like i was doing something 'wring' unless i had soem same rigid plan for everyday of the year nd how boring would that get ! lol
i dont want to admit it butit may be the case that i binged was because i didnt eat enough at my meal times.
my suport group hstaught me some very valuabel things though
A- to forgive myself ( which im not doing a very good job of today ! )
B- distract myself by finding other ways of treating myself other than with food
C- meal plans - just like you suggested
and many more ideas x
they have also made me feel more confident that there is control out there. it might not be within my hands but it does exist if i just let it.
i just long for those days where i felt special and beautiful:,(
sorry i keep writign abotu me and sorry again if this is a weird post. my computer has been disconnected for a while so im using some one else's computer x
i feel so sad :,(
love talking to you sian and hope the move goes really welll x bling
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 3:56 PM
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hi sian77 xx
so sorry i have disappeared for so long x
yes you are right mistakes can be great things to learn from .
i like that song by Pink when she talks about her 'beautiful' mistakes x
i hope the move the house goes well maybe you are already there now x
yes for both of us being settled is reallly going to help.
i started my job and i am loving it althgouh i not workign full timeso im still haveign bored days which can lead to danger zones x
i AM feeling more confident about food plans now thank you !! x
and realised that even if i do not stick to the same sort of food plan every day,even if i change the plan everydy at least i will have done what is on my plan for that day x
i am hope ful but also food fuilll tonight unfortunately and feeling a bit sad abotu that :,(
oh well i must pick myslef up and try again xxx
we willl win all of us and we will fight x bling
Posted on June 09, 2012 at 9:34 PM
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Hi Bunnylove!!!
Thank you so much for your response x
i am soo sorry i have taken AGES to reply and i hope that you get this message x
what with the jubilee weekend, work ,and my support group i havent got round to posting :,(
Thank you for your empathy.
I feel sad because i went all out to go to yet another support goup recently and find it unsupportive :,(
in my support group they talk about the importance of facing our feelings.
i personally find some of this practically imposssible but please do not be ashamed for feeling anger.x
there are many wasy that anger can be used and expressed healthily and it is far better than bottleing it in x
maybe exercise or meditation is a good way to start addressing yoru feelings ?
You are soo right about the oughts should musts dos donts that drive us into deep feelings of despair oand failure which drive us to cave in and binge.
have you looked at yoru assignemnt yet?
please do not punish yoruslef over it xxx academic work is a gGREAT deal of pressure when you have emotional issues going on . its stressful as the best of times anyway!
i think fear of starting is liek fera of climbing that massive mountain but you have to beleive in yoruslef as i believe in you
i think artists often have the same fears of the blank canvas
i totally agree that people with eds are usaully very punitive of themselves usaully ingrained by external factors and they usualy punish them selves for it!
let's try to love ourselves x
i fee; very sad tongight :,(
much love bling xxx
Posted on June 09, 2012 at 9:16 PM
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hi tuplip , bunnylove and sian x
what would i do without you???
i feel so sad atm
i spent hours this afternoon working out food plans and now i have gone and eaten lots of a food that isn't on the plan. i feel so sad
planning sometimes seems to make me binge because it involves so much obsession with food.
as a result i do nto have a clue how i am goign to tackle tomorrow'a eating now.
i feel a bit like keats scrunching up poems that he didnt think were good enough and then throwing them in the bin over and over again.
no plan is ever good enough for me. or is not me im trying to please? in reality am i still trying to please those who hve done me so much harm in life already?
i hate binge eating disorder with avengence.
personally i think its just as bad as anorexia or bulimia and it upsets me greatly when i feel that other people disagree with this or fail to see it.
the pain binge eating disorder puts through a person is unimaginably great.
i think we are all brilliant .
x
i think ive tried too hard today to take the control out of he hands of my greater power. i cannot do this without it and today i disregarded my higher power and tried to :,( as a result i ate too much and feel ashamed :,(
bunnylove you and sian and tulip you are all lovely !!!!!!!!!1
but yes i agree sian is very lovely x
you are all equallly lovely in different ways x
i wish i was :,(
ive never felt this frighetend of obesity before
im offiially overweight now and i literally fear the way im going that obesity willl catch me within months even weeks at this rate. ive never been there before and it is not a place i wnat to go to :,(
so sad .
i wish i was more active.
i just had soem more harassment from my neighbours tonight whch has frightened me a lot . im frightened of making any noise in case they bother me more :,( so im just sittign frozen on bum writing to you guys .
this is sooooooooo bad for me i shoudl be up and abotu at leats gettign ready for bed but i am just sittign and have been for th epast 2 hours at least :,(
Posted on June 02, 2012 at 10:08 PM
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my eating has been better so far today!!! yay!!!
still im having a few personal problems today and feel a bit afraid :,(
im ok though and i love talking to you x
how was your day today ?
hope you had a sunny day in many ways ,#
love bling x
Posted on May 30, 2012 at 8:17 PM
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hi bunnylove x
thank you x yes i am very pleased abotu the new circumstances.
today was a slightly better day for me food wise.
i have ended an era in my life today which has been causing me a great deal of stress.
i feel a little better for this x
hwo are you doign today?
i am feeling very anxious :,(
x bling
Posted on May 30, 2012 at 8:12 PM
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tulip x just wanted to say well done ! and i admire you so much for the three good days you have managed ! xxx well done
yes i found out yesterday that i too have a job now !!!!!!!
im hoping this will distract me. It will as i will be at work lol x
Posted on May 30, 2012 at 2:43 PM
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Hi Tulip xxxx
thank you
x your kindness means so much to me.
thank you
yes i quite like walking.
i walk to and from home most days and this does make me feel better about myself .
Im so sorry you have been suffering from depression too x isnt it horrible?
i m sure it 's my dpresssion which causes the disorder and then liek you say it becomes a horrible viscious cycle :,(
today my eating has been a little more controlled but i feel like i am on a very wobbly boat at the moment
still i will not giv in .
i feel very tired very often and i think this is bcause of feeling depressed too . i wonder if somtimes i eat becausse i do not let myself rest enough. i hate the idea if lying still in the midddle of the day but actually it would still be a lot better for me than bingeing.
yeah i think i l try that next time i feel like bineging! i think i may go for a nap.
yes walking makes me feel less depressed too. i think the endomorphines it releases give me a pick me up
thinking of you x bling xxx
Posted on May 30, 2012 at 2:39 PM
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hey bunnylove!!
thank you for your lovely reply xx
i have just doscovered today that i hav been offered a job and i have accepted !!! yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
this is going to make such a difference to my lifestyle x
how are you ??
thinking of you x bling
Posted on May 29, 2012 at 10:49 PM
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