aimee

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Viewing 1 to 20 (34 Total)
re: Hospital Hope you're finding it ok and met some nice people. What's the atmosphere like. I'm sure staff will pick up on your anxiety. However, learning to verbalise my feelings was a huge thing I learnt in hospital and It helped me greatly. Try and find a member of staff you are comfortable with abnd talk to them as honestly as you can. I found it so hard that, if I was really struggling, I would write a note and put it under the door of the nurse's office. I felt a bit daft, but they were always pleased i'd told them and tried to help. Thinking of you and sending lots of love, Aimeex Posted on May 15, 2012 at 12:37 PM
re: Can't wait for help. Thank You! I did manage to sustain changes for a few days, then had a huge slip up. Feel bad today. I'm trying to tell myself that it's great things were better briefly, but my thinking is so black and white, i end up seeing a slip as a disaster that has ruined everything. I will try and be more positive and start today afresh. One day at a time... Thinking of you. Ax Posted on May 15, 2012 at 12:32 PM
re: Hospital Really thinking of you as Monday approaches. I was also in hospital out of area but my friends visited whenever I wanted them too. Actually I found that being away from the town in which life had become so hard felt like a break. It gave me space to focus on myself and not have to deal with the outside world too much. Also, as I got better I was allowed time out of the hospital and really enjoyed exploring a new city, with better shops! It sounds like hospital would really help(Believe me, they wouldn't fund it otherwise!). Try to cooperate with staff however resistant you feel. That resistance is an illness that will destroy you. Use all the opportunities you have for help and support. Tho you probably won't see this in time! Good Luck and stay in touch if it helps. Aimeex Posted on May 12, 2012 at 2:08 PM
re: Can't wait for help. work's a tricky thing. When i'm there it's a relief to be away from my ED, with no time to think about it. But, when I leave I am emotionally exhausted and often have a phase of not really coping. I think that's because coping at work takes so much out of me. Also I feel like i'm pretending to be someone i'm not at work. Then I get home and feel like a fraud! I know that's not true though as part of me is quite capable of doing my job. I agree that structure helps and I try to get some in place. I seem to manage well by staying out of the house most of the day but struggle when I get home. I'm waiting for my support worker to talk to the psychiatrist about medication at the mo. Yesterday I managed slight changes to my eating, which is encouraging and I will try to keep going with them. How are you? Ax Posted on May 12, 2012 at 2:01 PM
re: Hospital Hi Butterfly, Bless you. I remember feeling so scared, but the first time I was admitted it wasn't planned It's good that this is planned and with your agreement. The outcome is likely to be much better if you are cooperating. Remember that, even if it's terrifying, those are feelings not facts an you are doing the right thing. With this illness you have to stop believing what you feel and trust the Drs. I was scared of the food in hospital but, with time I was less scared and could manage to eat things I never thought I'd manage. I was also scared of meeting the other patients, but most of them were lovely and supportive and they reassured me that they all liked me! Thinking of you . I'll be here if you ever want to msg. Aimeex Posted on May 10, 2012 at 5:17 PM
re: Can't wait for help. Thanks Adele. You're absolutely right. I think I just felt upset because the suggestions made seemed so little in proportion to my level of distress. I was thinking they might admit me to a psychiatric ward! I'm being a bit stroppy too, just because I'm so fed up of this whole ana/mia nightmare and just wish someone could take it away. Of course, they can't and we have to keep taking small steps. I was working today which helps at the time, but leaves me exhausted after. Do you find working helps? Are you getting any treatment at the mo? My CBT won't start for several months. Thanks for your support. Ax Posted on May 09, 2012 at 9:11 PM
re: Can't wait for help. Just to update you, my GP just advised that I do more exercise to relieve my anxiety. I didn't think that was a helpful thing to say to a recovering anorexic! Support worker told me to do crosswords... Any sufferers who actually know how bad it can be got any advice? Ax Posted on May 09, 2012 at 11:22 AM
re: Hospital Hey guys, Just wondering if yuou've gone into hospital yet and how you're finding it? I think it can be overwhelming at first, It does get better though and you will get used to it. Do your best to cooperate however hard it feels and you'll get there. Thinking of you. Aimeex Posted on May 09, 2012 at 11:18 AM
re: Feel poorly Hey Lou, Sorry things are so rough. Are you still on course to go into hospital? When is that happening? If you engage with them in hospital you will start to feel better. I still appreciate the benefits of being physically stronger than when I was anorexic. I go to the gym now. Try to look after yourself. Aimeex Posted on May 01, 2012 at 8:41 PM
re: gone from An to Mia, and leaving therapy Hi Jo, I'm pleased to hear you're going to give the group a go. You will feel nervous, but recovery is never going to feel easy so don't let that stop you. For me, I find it hard to engage in a regular eating pattern, which is vital to stop binging. I'm really struggling with that at the moment. See my GP this afternoon so am hoping she'll be supportive. When does the group start? Aimeex Posted on April 30, 2012 at 1:39 PM
re: Hospital I don't know what it will be like where you go but, if that's what's been recommended, you need it and it will be a huge step towards recovery. I spent a long time in an ED unit. It was hard to lose control of my food and time, but I felt really safe and supported. I could use my phone, watch telly, use the internet, have visitors outside of mealtimes. In a way, It was nice to have a bit of a break from managing outside. also, I made some of my loveliest friends in hospital and we still phone each other every day and support each other. It will feel weird, but believe that you need to be there, even if you don't feel that bad, and get everything you can from it. If I had the choice, I'd go into hospital for my bulimia at the moment, but that option's not available. Let me know how you get on. aimeex Posted on April 28, 2012 at 1:57 PM
re: gone from An to Mia, and leaving therapy Exactly the same thing happened to me. after years of anorexia I am now bulimic. It feels so hard as I feel worse as i'm totally out of control, but there's less help out there for bulimia. I went to a short term group. It was good at giving me tools I needed but I don't think i was ready for it at the time. However, despite my shyness, I met some lovely people who i'm still in touch with and, hearing them talk, made me feel less ashamed of myself. I'd encourage you to go for the group, It can't make things worse and, if you just feel less alone, that's good. Let me know what you decide and don't be hard on yourself for not being able to sort it out alone. It's just so difficult! Aimeexx Posted on April 28, 2012 at 1:52 PM
Can't wait for help. Hi Guys, I've been on here before and, to be honest, feel I shouldn't keep asking for help. My bulimia is terrible at the moment and I feel really desperate. Am seeing my GP next week and will be getting a short course of CBT in around 3 months. Am so grateful for that, but, right now, don't feel I can face another day of this, let alone months. Any advice? To everyone who has written to me before, thank you and sorry I've not been in touch recently. Ax Posted on April 24, 2012 at 9:24 PM
Clocks changing nightmare! Is anyone else falling apart because of the clocks changing? Thank You, Aimee Posted on March 25, 2012 at 8:20 PM
re: Lonely Hi Flo, Glad you're finding CBT helpful. I'm just waiting to hear how long the waiting list is! In the short-term I'm not really coping at all but mental health services don't seem to be able to help me. I do feel very alone with it all. Evenings are the worst. . Days feel more manageable. I work as a teacher on 2 days. Tiring but I do love it. The rest of the week I like sitting in cafes with my book or reading the paper. I used to have hobbies but they've totally disappeared under the eating disorder. Am thinking I might start tap-dancing! Used to enjoy that. Being depressed makes it hard to get out there though. How are you doing? Do you work or study at all? Lots of love, Aimee Posted on March 15, 2012 at 9:28 PM
re: Anorexia now Bulimic! Hey everyone. Sorry i've not been on here for a bit. Think i'm at risk of isolating myself as I've been trying to get help from professionals and have got nowhere, in the short-term, (on a waiting list!), . Sorry not to be more positive I find evenings so hard . However, I've been working 2 days a week. Totally exhausting as I teach 11-18 year olds, but It is really good for me. The kids are so lively they energize me. Thinking of you all. Aimeex Posted on March 15, 2012 at 9:22 PM
re: Lonely Thank you all so much for replying. I'm sorry you are struggling but it is good to know i'm not alone. I've been ill recently with a sickness virus, which was awful. I did have a positive meeting with my Drs who are going to arrange some CBT for me. I have had some before, but am in a different place now so hope it will be helpful. Do you find that your mood is really tied up with eating? I suffer from depression, but it gets so much worse when i'm binging, then i binge because i'm so down! Aaagh. Hope you all have good weekends. love Aimeex Posted on March 10, 2012 at 5:22 PM
re: Anorexia now Bulimic! Hey Guys, thinking of you both. Abi, any news on day-patient treatment? I was a day patient for a while and it was scary, mostly because of having to eat meals there, but it helped. It was good to establish a better eating pattern and meet other people who were struggling. I hope you find the courage to engage in it as I think you'll find it supportive. Laura, any news on the timings of your appointments? I only manage to work part-time and I find that hard enough so I admire your efforts. I have been struggling, but I've got a meeting with my psychologist and G.P in 2 weeks, to see where we can go from here. I hope I don't feel let down by the meeting. At the moment I'm just finding ways of getting through each day. Yesterday I had a medical assessment with the benefits people and was cross as they didn't want to know about my eating disorder! So I wait to hear if they're going to cut my benefits... Look after yourselves. Aimeex Posted on February 22, 2012 at 12:54 PM
re: Bulimic and scared Well done for asking for help Ally. I'm really glad you're seeing a psychiatrist. Are they an eating disorder specialist and giving you treatment? There are effective treatments out there for bulimia such as CBT and you have the right to receive treatment. Bulimia is so not a trivial problem. I feel that it is ruining my life at the moment. I'm at work now, having a rubbish day as I feel too weak and tired to do a good job and I'm so distracted by worried about food. You are right to take this seriously and ask for specialist treatment. The better times for me have been when i've managed to eat regular meals, making me less likely to binge. Even if you have binged, try to eat your next meal as normal. Try putting things in place to stop you purging, such as eating with friends, phoning or emailing someone. Sorry, I know it's not that easy. Wish I could offer more. Stay in touch. Aimeex Posted on February 22, 2012 at 12:12 PM
re: Anorexia now Bulimic! Hi Laura and Abi, I just wanted to make contact with you as I was also seriously ill with anorexia but have now swung to bulimia. I haven't got the energy to say much now having binged and purged. Like you though i hate bulimia. Now I feel so desperate as I still feel anorexic on the inside, but binging and weighing more on the outside. no-one understands that as i'm not seen as anorexic anymore. Hope you are both okay. Feel for you and will write again soon. aimeex Posted on February 18, 2012 at 10:13 PM

Viewing 1 to 20 (34 Total)

re: Hospital

Hope you're finding it ok and met some nice people. What's the atmosphere like. I'm sure staff will pick up on your anxiety. However, learning to verbalise my feelings was a huge thing I learnt in hospital and It helped me greatly. Try and find a member of staff you are comfortable with abnd talk to them as honestly as you can. I found it so hard that, if I was really struggling, I would write a note and put it under the door of the nurse's office. I felt a bit daft, but they were always pleased i'd told them and tried to help.

Thinking of you and sending lots of love,

Aimeex

Posted on May 15, 2012 at 12:37 PM

re: Can't wait for help.

Thank You! I did manage to sustain changes for a few days, then had a huge slip up. Feel bad today. I'm trying to tell myself that it's great things were better briefly, but my thinking is so black and white, i end up seeing a slip as a disaster that has ruined everything. I will try and be more positive and start today afresh. One day at a time...
Thinking of you.
Ax

Posted on May 15, 2012 at 12:32 PM

re: Hospital

Really thinking of you as Monday approaches. I was also in hospital out of area but my friends visited whenever I wanted them too. Actually I found that being away from the town in which life had become so hard felt like a break. It gave me space to focus on myself and not have to deal with the outside world too much. Also, as I got better I was allowed time out of the hospital and really enjoyed exploring a new city, with better shops!

It sounds like hospital would really help(Believe me, they wouldn't fund it otherwise!). Try to cooperate with staff however resistant you feel. That resistance is an illness that will destroy you. Use all the opportunities you have for help and support. Tho you probably won't see this in time!

Good Luck and stay in touch if it helps.

Aimeex

Posted on May 12, 2012 at 2:08 PM

re: Can't wait for help.

work's a tricky thing. When i'm there it's a relief to be away from my ED, with no time to think about it. But, when I leave I am emotionally exhausted and often have a phase of not really coping. I think that's because coping at work takes so much out of me. Also I feel like i'm pretending to be someone i'm not at work. Then I get home and feel like a fraud! I know that's not true though as part of me is quite capable of doing my job. I agree that structure helps and I try to get some in place. I seem to manage well by staying out of the house most of the day but struggle when I get home.

I'm waiting for my support worker to talk to the psychiatrist about medication at the mo.

Yesterday I managed slight changes to my eating, which is encouraging and I will try to keep going with them.

How are you?

Ax

Posted on May 12, 2012 at 2:01 PM

re: Hospital

Hi Butterfly,

Bless you. I remember feeling so scared, but the first time I was admitted it wasn't planned It's good that this is planned and with your agreement. The outcome is likely to be much better if you are cooperating. Remember that, even if it's terrifying, those are feelings not facts an you are doing the right thing. With this illness you have to stop believing what you feel and trust the Drs. I was scared of the food in hospital but, with time I was less scared and could manage to eat things I never thought I'd manage. I was also scared of meeting the other patients, but most of them were lovely and supportive and they reassured me that they all liked me!

Thinking of you . I'll be here if you ever want to msg.

Aimeex

Posted on May 10, 2012 at 5:17 PM

re: Can't wait for help.

Thanks Adele. You're absolutely right. I think I just felt upset because the suggestions made seemed so little in proportion to my level of distress. I was thinking they might admit me to a psychiatric ward! I'm being a bit stroppy too, just because I'm so fed up of this whole ana/mia nightmare and just wish someone could take it away. Of course, they can't and we have to keep taking small steps.

I was working today which helps at the time, but leaves me exhausted after. Do you find working helps? Are you getting any treatment at the mo? My CBT won't start for several months.

Thanks for your support.

Ax

Posted on May 09, 2012 at 9:11 PM

re: Can't wait for help.

Just to update you, my GP just advised that I do more exercise to relieve my anxiety. I didn't think that was a helpful thing to say to a recovering anorexic! Support worker told me to do crosswords... Any sufferers who actually know how bad it can be got any advice?
Ax

Posted on May 09, 2012 at 11:22 AM

re: Hospital

Hey guys,

Just wondering if yuou've gone into hospital yet and how you're finding it? I think it can be overwhelming at first, It does get better though and you will get used to it. Do your best to cooperate however hard it feels and you'll get there. Thinking of you.

Aimeex

Posted on May 09, 2012 at 11:18 AM

re: Feel poorly

Hey Lou,

Sorry things are so rough. Are you still on course to go into hospital? When is that happening? If you engage with them in hospital you will start to feel better. I still appreciate the benefits of being physically stronger than when I was anorexic. I go to the gym now.

Try to look after yourself.

Aimeex

Posted on May 01, 2012 at 8:41 PM

re: gone from An to Mia, and leaving therapy

Hi Jo,

I'm pleased to hear you're going to give the group a go. You will feel nervous, but recovery is never going to feel easy so don't let that stop you. For me, I find it hard to engage in a regular eating pattern, which is vital to stop binging. I'm really struggling with that at the moment. See my GP this afternoon so am hoping she'll be supportive.

When does the group start?

Aimeex

Posted on April 30, 2012 at 1:39 PM

re: Hospital

I don't know what it will be like where you go but, if that's what's been recommended, you need it and it will be a huge step towards recovery. I spent a long time in an ED unit. It was hard to lose control of my food and time, but I felt really safe and supported. I could use my phone, watch telly, use the internet, have visitors outside of mealtimes. In a way, It was nice to have a bit of a break from managing outside. also, I made some of my loveliest friends in hospital and we still phone each other every day and support each other. It will feel weird, but believe that you need to be there, even if you don't feel that bad, and get everything you can from it. If I had the choice, I'd go into hospital for my bulimia at the moment, but that option's not available. Let me know how you get on.
aimeex

Posted on April 28, 2012 at 1:57 PM

re: gone from An to Mia, and leaving therapy

Exactly the same thing happened to me. after years of anorexia I am now bulimic. It feels so hard as I feel worse as i'm totally out of control, but there's less help out there for bulimia. I went to a short term group. It was good at giving me tools I needed but I don't think i was ready for it at the time. However, despite my shyness, I met some lovely people who i'm still in touch with and, hearing them talk, made me feel less ashamed of myself. I'd encourage you to go for the group, It can't make things worse and, if you just feel less alone, that's good. Let me know what you decide and don't be hard on yourself for not being able to sort it out alone. It's just so difficult!
Aimeexx

Posted on April 28, 2012 at 1:52 PM

Can't wait for help.

Hi Guys,

I've been on here before and, to be honest, feel I shouldn't keep asking for help. My bulimia is terrible at the moment and I feel really desperate. Am seeing my GP next week and will be getting a short course of CBT in around 3 months. Am so grateful for that, but, right now, don't feel I can face another day of this, let alone months. Any advice?

To everyone who has written to me before, thank you and sorry I've not been in touch recently.

Ax

Posted on April 24, 2012 at 9:24 PM

Clocks changing nightmare!

Is anyone else falling apart because of the clocks changing?
Thank You,

Aimee

Posted on March 25, 2012 at 8:20 PM

re: Lonely

Hi Flo,

Glad you're finding CBT helpful. I'm just waiting to hear how long the waiting list is! In the short-term I'm not really coping at all but mental health services don't seem to be able to help me. I do feel very alone with it all. Evenings are the worst. . Days feel more manageable. I work as a teacher on 2 days. Tiring but I do love it. The rest of the week I like sitting in cafes with my book or reading the paper. I used to have hobbies but they've totally disappeared under the eating disorder. Am thinking I might start tap-dancing! Used to enjoy that. Being depressed makes it hard to get out there though.

How are you doing? Do you work or study at all?

Lots of love,

Aimee

Posted on March 15, 2012 at 9:28 PM

re: Anorexia now Bulimic!

Hey everyone. Sorry i've not been on here for a bit. Think i'm at risk of isolating myself as I've been trying to get help from professionals and have got nowhere, in the short-term, (on a waiting list!), . Sorry not to be more positive I find evenings so hard . However, I've been working 2 days a week. Totally exhausting as I teach 11-18 year olds, but It is really good for me. The kids are so lively they energize me.

Thinking of you all.

Aimeex

Posted on March 15, 2012 at 9:22 PM

re: Lonely

Thank you all so much for replying. I'm sorry you are struggling but it is good to know i'm not alone. I've been ill recently with a sickness virus, which was awful.
I did have a positive meeting with my Drs who are going to arrange some CBT for me. I have had some before, but am in a different place now so hope it will be helpful. Do you find that your mood is really tied up with eating? I suffer from depression, but it gets so much worse when i'm binging, then i binge because i'm so down! Aaagh.

Hope you all have good weekends.

love Aimeex

Posted on March 10, 2012 at 5:22 PM

re: Anorexia now Bulimic!

Hey Guys,
thinking of you both. Abi, any news on day-patient treatment? I was a day patient for a while and it was scary, mostly because of having to eat meals there, but it helped. It was good to establish a better eating pattern and meet other people who were struggling. I hope you find the courage to engage in it as I think you'll find it supportive.

Laura, any news on the timings of your appointments? I only manage to work part-time and I find that hard enough so I admire your efforts.

I have been struggling, but I've got a meeting with my psychologist and G.P in 2 weeks, to see where we can go from here. I hope I don't feel let down by the meeting. At the moment I'm just finding ways of getting through each day. Yesterday I had a medical assessment with the benefits people and was cross as they didn't want to know about my eating disorder! So I wait to hear if they're going to cut my benefits...

Look after yourselves.

Aimeex

Posted on February 22, 2012 at 12:54 PM

re: Bulimic and scared

Well done for asking for help Ally. I'm really glad you're seeing a psychiatrist. Are they an eating disorder specialist and giving you treatment? There are effective treatments out there for bulimia such as CBT and you have the right to receive treatment. Bulimia is so not a trivial problem. I feel that it is ruining my life at the moment. I'm at work now, having a rubbish day as I feel too weak and tired to do a good job and I'm so distracted by worried about food. You are right to take this seriously and ask for specialist treatment. The better times for me have been when i've managed to eat regular meals, making me less likely to binge. Even if you have binged, try to eat your next meal as normal. Try putting things in place to stop you purging, such as eating with friends, phoning or emailing someone. Sorry, I know it's not that easy. Wish I could offer more. Stay in touch.

Aimeex

Posted on February 22, 2012 at 12:12 PM

re: Anorexia now Bulimic!

Hi Laura and Abi,

I just wanted to make contact with you as I was also seriously ill with anorexia but have now swung to bulimia. I haven't got the energy to say much now having binged and purged. Like you though i hate bulimia. Now I feel so desperate as I still feel anorexic on the inside, but binging and weighing more on the outside. no-one understands that as i'm not seen as anorexic anymore. Hope you are both okay. Feel for you and will write again soon.

aimeex

Posted on February 18, 2012 at 10:13 PM

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