|
Viewing 1 to (25 Total) |
|
Hi Fiona!
Hope you are well!
Things here are going much better. No trips to the hospital in almost two months now! Even thinking about doing a masters next year alongside setting up a small craft business. Slightly hesitant given this past year but things are much better.
Psychiatrist wants to refer me to people specialised in eating disorders. I don't feel like I have one though? .
Apparently I have several mental health issues which I really struggle to relate to !
Getting there with my major project. Really enjoying it and onto the fun parts now. I've justified that there is a gap in the market in a 100 page document and now I'm onto the fun part. I bought myself a sewing machine so I'm powering out the models!
Hope we can talk sometime. xxx
Posted on April 13, 2012 at 2:55 PM
|
|
I would really encourage you to pop down to the dentist. I am sure they would be able to help to some extent.
I do understand how you feel. I haven't been to the dentist in years either as they picked up on my eating disorder at a time when I was quite defensive, so my teeth are horrible after years of purging and not seeing them!
Go and show me how it is done!
Posted on April 13, 2012 at 11:05 AM
|
|
Yeah he sounds a good one No, I'm a bit too much of a handful - all the guys I've been with I've pushed away, or they have run away!
I could but my parents are opposed to therapy. Here I can just go out and do what I want, but home it seems very controlling. I prefer my GP here too she knows exactly how to be with me and we really gel well in general.
I think it'd have to be a shop job or something. There are no design jobs in my home town, but I'd ultimately love to set up my own business. The masters combines design, engineering and business, so people from all 3 disciplines can join and teach each other. I think it would be ideal! I'd love to take my major project into production and get it onto the shelves eventually. But at the same time this year has been a real challenge for me, and uni has really had to work hard with me to make sure I'm fit and well and will do ok in my degree. When I'm well, I'm really motivated and confident, but when I'm not things go disastrously.
Are you on holiday from work too? Bet it is a nice break for you!
Have fun decorating the room! Have they chosen the paint etc?
I haven't thought that far ahead yet. I'm very much taking the days as they come. Hoping to make four bags today and write up about them in my design report, half way through all four and just stopped for lunch! I also need to learn all about branding for my product, and I know nothing at all, so I got a book out of the library yesterday that my supervisor recommended. Got to learn fast though!
xxx
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 12:31 PM
|
|
Yes, my guess is that he worries about you and doesn't quite know how best to deal with the situation. It is quite difficult to understand for onlookers.
Blimey that's a lot! I love the idea of a wedding abroad, but there are so many financial implications for everyone else isn't there! Will she have any celebrations over here?
Yes I could try and find a job. My mum wants me to move home but I'm not sure I want to. It's all up in the air. I don't even know where in the country I will be living in 2 months time. If I go home it's bye bye therapy and big dreams. I guess that is why a masters is so appealing!
Well done on not purging! I hope your appetite gets better soon though
Did you have a nice time with your cousin? How was the Easter hunt?
Posted on April 10, 2012 at 10:26 PM
|
|
So glad speaking openly in IPT helped you. It sounds complicated, are you open with everything other than this? Maybe it could just be that you let him know when things are more difficult, without bearing all if he finds that overwhelming?
It is such a shame you can't be at your sisters wedding. Are you close?
Thank-you. It keeps going in waves of unachievable to achievable. Uni seemed the easy option and the only other option I could see was retail which doesn't really appeal to me. I am even considering a masters because I don't want to go into the real world just yet! But the programme leader on the course I want to do suggested I hang fire a year or two and focus on getting better. Not sure uni would allow even allow it - I've had to supply a 'fit' note this year!
I'm glad the lady helped! I understand it could be weird speaking to someone younger - I find it odd when student nurses (from same uni too!) are a similar age to me. But I can keep rapport with them much better as there seems to be less of a perceived hierarchy?!
How is everything going for you anyway?
I haven't many plans other than drawing and researching! Was invited out drinking tonight but I don't really fancy it. My brother popped down to visit earlier for lunch and my sister will come later for dinner. I have only really come home because of my mum's birthday so I'm quite a bore, and will be until my final hand-ins!
How's your weekend?
Posted on April 07, 2012 at 3:21 PM
|
|
Hello.
Might it be useful for him to attend another session with you, if you would be comfortable with that of course? Just an idea if it helped last time?
I am pleased you managed to speak openly about your worries. Did you find it helped?
I find that when I am living at uni I have more choice whereas at home my mum can be quite overbearing. At times that can be just what I need, but others I find it too controlling.
My tutors have discussed the deadlines with me. I have disability recommendations in place, and they have known when I have been in hospital and why, so they are quite supportive. Unfortunately though these final deadlines cannot be changed as I'm going to exhibit my work this summer, so everything needs to be finalised and sent off to the printers.
Just can't afford any blips and need to work harder than ever before! It is a really fun project just wish I hadn't messed up this year.
Take care and well done it really is good to hear you are being open with people.
Posted on April 05, 2012 at 10:01 PM
|
|
I'm glad you found the support group helpful. Not everyone does...has your husband joined you in any other therapy? How has he been in those situations?
Hope IPT goes well, why would it be cancelled?
I'm going home tomorrow Eating is fine but I have fallen so behind with uni work I'm not sure I will make the deadline.
Take care
Posted on April 03, 2012 at 11:08 PM
|
|
I think I know what you mean. It's hard sometimes to say what you want to say. I know today I just told my MHP exactly what I thought she wanted to hear. Do try though 
It's good to hear you are good at time management. It makes things a lot easier I find; keeping on top of things so it isn't an extra burden on all you are dealing with.
I hope the support groups help. I find the distance helps so much with doctors etc. I could never speak with anyone 'real', even if they tried to understand it was always so much more difficult! Nothing that they did or could do.
You take care too and have a lovely week with your family! x
Posted on April 02, 2012 at 11:57 PM
|
|
Hi Jazzie,
I would really encourage you to be open with them if you think it is an issue. I'm sure discussing it with them would be a weight off your mind. Even if you don't think you are brave enough, do it anyway. Prove yourself wrong. I doubt the response will be nearly as negative as you are imagining, and I'm sure they would respect you for it.
How many children do you have? Squeezing everything in is such a chore isn't it! I'm constantly surrounded by mums and dads due to my project and it always amazes me if they even have a single hobby for themselves!
Yep that definitely means something! Well done you! Hope it isn't too stressful. Do you enjoy heavy workloads? Uni seems to think I will have a breakdown any day now as it is the most stressful time but I seem to be doing well because I'm stressing about work, and don't have time to worry about anything else!
Enjoy your break Jazzie! I'm popping home later next week for my mums birthday so I'm really looking forward to that - if a little nervous it will take time out of my work!
Take care x
Posted on March 31, 2012 at 11:08 AM
|
|
It might be worth mentioning the drinking in therapy? They might be able to offer you some guidance? It could be useful to mention and I'm sure they would be interested to know and want to help you. I wouldn't bother about the stigma as in those situations they are trained to be non-judgmental, they are trained to understand and will be equipped to help or refer you to someone who can. Just like with ED's - I know lots of people who are ignorant to the issues, but therapists are much more informed. It is worth mentioning if you think it is becoming an issue for you.
I do have blips but they aren't particularly significant. Nothing like how I used to be. I was offered the psych input as they have been getting worried and a bit confused as I always come across quite bubbly which is incongruous to my actions.
The crisis team for me have been involved at the point of hospital admissions. They always assess me and decide whether I need to stay or can go/suggest what needs to happen, and offer a follow up appointment for when things are a little less intense. I think crisis teams have different roles too, but for me that is always how it pans out. They inform my GP and MHP.
I take industrial design.
Yes, I am completely with you about summer being an incentive! I think it is a good enough reason if you can't do it for yourself just now.
Hope you have a lovely week! I don't really have time for hobbies anymore. When I'm not doing uni work it tends to be a case of dashing to catch up with friends!
Take care
xxx
Posted on March 28, 2012 at 8:35 AM
|
|
Not long until graduation, just a couple of months. I've slipped behind a lot with thinking about dropping out/hospital/therapy so I really need to focus now. I'm sure things will be better once I am able to fully engage with therapy. After speaking with psych and reading the notes from crisis team he gave me it kind've sent me off on a little wobble which I can't afford to do.
Hope the swimming goes well, it is so good you are able to do that, well done on not hurting yourself so much in that way!
Yeah no bother like. I used to restrict and purge, then binged and purged, then a mix, now I'm completely fine and keeping up with others, but the thoughts are still there?
I hope everything is going well for you.
Take Care x
Posted on March 26, 2012 at 11:22 PM
|
|
Hello Jazzie,
Thanks for your reply. They've now referred me on to someone who specialises in eating disorders but I explained why I don't want to go until after I have graduated. He seemed to understand as lately I have been eating well but self harm has gotten out of hand - so everyone has been focusing on the self harm until now.
I hope everything is going well!
Posted on March 25, 2012 at 10:58 AM
|
|
Hi lovely.
Still hanging on to the hope you will come back sometime! Really really hoping all is OK at your end??
I am meeting with psychiatric team tomorrow. So scared of new place and new people but I hopefully won't drop out. Organised a focus group for my project tomorrow afternoon too - also new place and new people!
Got an appointment with hairdresser in a week - also eek - lol. But I asked for the same person to do it haha!
Managed a presentation a few days ago as well. My lecturers were quite shocked like. I didn't freeze!
Just putting myself in uncomfortable situations seems the best option right now.
Take care!!
Posted on March 18, 2012 at 11:54 AM
|
|
Hello.
I think the subject title says it all really. I am meeting them on Monday.
Thanks!
Posted on March 17, 2012 at 8:20 AM
|
|
Wish you were here
Been back in hospital. Messing up so so much. They have referred me through to psychiatry as well as psychology now. Really struggling.
Had to get a 'fit to study' note with 3 months to go until my final hand-in.
I miss you xxxxxx
Posted on February 25, 2012 at 9:33 AM
|
|
I got a first for my dissertation!!!
GP properly scared me yest but think I needed it, I also saw the notes from psych liason team and it just showed it from a different viewpoint? She's pushing on the psych dept front.
xxx
Posted on February 02, 2012 at 8:44 PM
|
|
Programme leader rang to discuss suspending studies last week I don't want to mess up but I have so much work, I'm not good enough and I have no idea where I will be in a few months time. I feel so rubbish.
The programme leader promised it was my call to make as long as I am compliant with the professionals, keep in touch and let them know when I use the workshop for safety reasons, but they want me to drop out.
Posted on January 31, 2012 at 11:02 AM
|
|
I miss you.
Landed myself back in hospital. I'm so tired.
Uni is so so overwhelming. I popped in to the school office to hand in a form and the lecturers who know bits and bobs about me were like "are you ok? is someone looking after you?" I just wanted to cry! Wish you were here to talk some sense into me. Everyone is brilliantly helpful but they just seem like strangers still
Posted on January 26, 2012 at 12:46 PM
|
|
Fiona, I really wish you were here. I was so sure my GP understood but she clearly doesn't get it. She said it seems like I am game playing because I am constantly like I want help/I don't want help. Welcome to my world. She was like we can't help you if you aren't open and honest with us, but I am being? How much more honest can you get with someone than admitting to doing ED things/SH/OD and trying to explain why? Especially when I have never admitted this before off my own back. Then she gave me a lecture because I cancelled a referral, and then changed my mind with MHP who contacted her for me as I didn't want to because I didn't want to speak to anyone. I should've been the one to do it, and yeah I totally agree, but I felt I couldn't at the time because I got to a point of hating the phone etc and you know how long these things take? My MHP asked me to e-mail my request to her so it was documented. It's not like I can ask my mum to do it?
I really just want to get my degree done with and GP was like we need to help you long term.
I am sure I am going to fail the latest module. I just don't have it in me anymore.
My GP is lovely and well intentioned but the situation just seems hopeless.
Back on the meds (but I don't want to take them), referral is in place, seeing someone at the school tomorrow about PEC and sorting disability next week with MHP.
I just want to go home.
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 11:19 AM
|
|
Hi Fiona
Happy new year!
I have now finished and bound my dissertation. Another 20 credits down!
I'm a bit nervous about heading back to University. I don't feel I can manage a design degree anymore. Sitting down writing an essay, fine. Ringing up buyers of major design firms and presenting ideas, most definitely not fine! My tutors are so blaze about it and I'm like the complete opposite.
I just don't know how to deal with it all, I wish they would force me to stay with the meds and gp and psych and mhp... It's too hard it being my choice I want them to force it on me?
x
Posted on January 04, 2012 at 12:58 PM
|
